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Active Grieving Can Help After Sibling Loss

Posted on September 17, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

“Every loss is unique. The truth is, the worst loss is the one that is happening to you, the one that has picked you up and thrown you down and left you struggling to put your life back together.” (Devita-Raeburn, 2004, p. 184) When I was 20 years old, I was awakened in the middle of the night to the terrible news that my 17-year-old brother Scott and cousin Matthew, had been killed together in a car accident. It seemed inconceivable that my brother had died. My brother, who I had grown up with, shared a history with, and expected […]

Coping With Grief: Approaching the Second Anniversary of My Son’s Death

Posted on September 17, 2016 - by Basia Mosinski

Life is moving along well, considering the magnitude of losing of my only child almost two years ago. Since December of last year, I have started to feel like myself again. My nature, which is generally optimistic and hopeful, has returned. Recognizing that part of myself return was like meeting with an old friend. Since my son’s death, I choose not to fake what I’m feeling, to others or myself. It’s not that I dump my sadness onto others; rather, I decide what’s best for me in a given moment and assess my ability and willingness to share and be […]

Time Doesn’t Heal; Gratitude Does

Posted on September 11, 2016 - by Jill Smoot

I remember after the death of our son in 2011, how disconnected I felt that first year. Things I once enjoyed, even special relationships, I was unable to maintain. It wasn’t that I had stopped caring, never that, but the energy involved in even writing a simple letter was too much for me. I was somehow immobilized, and daily tasks took my strength to perform them. Sleep was erratic, and there were vivid dreams of Aaron that would awaken me to painful reality. Each morning was a fresh remembrance of this sorrow I would have the rest of my life. […]

Doubt: A Meaningful Part of Saint Mother Teresa’s Story

Posted on September 11, 2016 - by Charles W. Sidoti

One of the most important revelations about Saint Mother Teresa (1910 – 1997) was made after her death. It came in a collection of personal letters written to her spiritual advisers made public in a book published in 2007. The book called, Mother Teresa: Come Be My Light, revealed that Mother Teresa was plagued by serious doubts about her faith. The news headline read: “Letters Reveal Mother Teresa’s Secret: Book of Iconic Nun’s Letters Show She Was Tormented by Doubts in Her Faith.” The article stated in part, In a rare interview in 1986, Mother Teresa told CBS News she had a calling, […]

Songwriting as Healing Art

Posted on September 10, 2016 - by Ceci Frost

I kissed your head Told you I loved you, ’cause I wanted You to know just how much that you impacted My life, so much more than I could ask for This is not good-bye, and yes, I will cry but that’s ’cause I miss your face This is not good-bye, I know I’ll see you on the other side some day This is not good-bye I held your hand We praised and we prayed with all we had With every second and every minute you breathed You are a fighter to me I dedicate this song to you The […]

No Longer the Victim: Emerging From Loss

Posted on September 1, 2016 - by Laura Diehl

When we have children, being a parent becomes one of the deepest parts of our identity. As a woman, my identity is being the mother of Becca, Christopher, Kimmy, Jamison, and Austin. When Becca went through times of severe illness (such as cancer at age 3, being given a 50/50 chance of surviving labor and delivery of her child because of the heart damage from the chemo, and her long stays in the hospital while needing a heart transplant) my identity became Becca’s mom as her caregiver. I was important and special because Becca was important and special, especially with […]

Grieving the Loss of the Future

Posted on August 21, 2016 - by Ceci Frost

I knew from day one when I lost my mom that specific occasions would arise in my life that I would inevitably miss having a mother there for. The two most prominent times would be getting married and having kids. I was hesitant about them from the beginning. It was comforting knowing I had my dear friend Rebecca to relate to when it came to those topics. The thought of marriage and having kids would make me sad instead of happy because my mom wouldn’t get to be a part of those exciting events. She wouldn’t be there to get […]

Camille Gerace: Helping Kids Cope with Grief

Posted on August 20, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

The Open to Hope Foundation’s Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Camille Gerace about the Children’s Grief Center of the Great Lakes Bay Region. This project is just one year old, but Gerace says that already they’ve seen so much growth in their clients. She says that when children are around their peers, they get the sense that they’re not alone. They connect, and when there’s a death your world turns upside down. Just seconds ago, the world was a different place. Being able to connect with someone who knows what they’re going through can give them a feeling of being […]

Is ‘Getting Over It’ the Goal?

Posted on August 19, 2016 - by Howard Winokuer

“Loss is about all kinds of things,” says Dr. Howard Winokuer, who spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley at an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. As the president of ADEC, he works with Dr. Gloria’s organization, the Open to Hope Foundation, very closely. Loss can include divorce, moving, growing older, and of course death. Each of these examples can come with intense trauma and grieving periods. Grief happens when we experience a loss, and vice versa. Grief is a reaction to a loss, and a requirement. If you’ve loved someone or something, why would you ever “get over […]

The Challenge of Guilt During Grief

Posted on August 19, 2016 - by Greg Adams

Before I made my professional home in the grief world, I had no idea that guilt was such a common emotion after someone died. Looking back, perhaps I should have known. My maternal grandmother died when I was ten years old. Unlike many grandparents I see today, my grandparents rarely got out and about and did not come to the special events in the lives of my brothers and me. My closest brother and I did like spending the night with my grandparents. My grandmother would do little things to make us feel special including making egg custard (a favorite […]