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Is ‘Getting Over It’ the Goal?

Posted on August 19, 2016 - by Howard Winokuer

“Loss is about all kinds of things,” says Dr. Howard Winokuer, who spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley at an Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. As the president of ADEC, he works with Dr. Gloria’s organization, the Open to Hope Foundation, very closely. Loss can include divorce, moving, growing older, and of course death. Each of these examples can come with intense trauma and grieving periods. Grief happens when we experience a loss, and vice versa. Grief is a reaction to a loss, and a requirement. If you’ve loved someone or something, why would you ever “get over […]

The Challenge of Guilt During Grief

Posted on August 19, 2016 - by Greg Adams

Before I made my professional home in the grief world, I had no idea that guilt was such a common emotion after someone died. Looking back, perhaps I should have known. My maternal grandmother died when I was ten years old. Unlike many grandparents I see today, my grandparents rarely got out and about and did not come to the special events in the lives of my brothers and me. My closest brother and I did like spending the night with my grandparents. My grandmother would do little things to make us feel special including making egg custard (a favorite […]

Celestial Conversations: Reaching Through the Veil

Posted on August 18, 2016 - by Lo Anne Mayer

When my mother died in 2004, we had so much unfinished business that I thought her death ended all chances of healing our strained relationship. Encouraged by a friend, I began journaling with the intention of reaching through the veil to my mother. Even though my Catholic religion frowned on talking to the dead, it certainly encouraged praying for the dead. I picked the middle ground. I prayed for mother to help me understand why we never found an intimate moment in our lives. Then I meditated for 20 minutes to clear my mind before I began writing in my […]

Lunch Date with Resilience: Not Everything Happens ‘For a Reason’

Posted on August 17, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

“You can go two ways when you have a tragedy,” she began as she unrolled her white, pressed napkin. “You can be the victim, or you can change your story.” On July 6, 2016, I was honored to have lunch and conversation about loss, the lasting impact of fatal crashes, mindsets, and motherhood with a woman who exudes optimism and honesty. Sometimes, it seems those two traits don’t often go together, as harsh realities make it difficult to live with a glass-half-full mentality. Now in her late-thirties with four children (one adopted), my new friend, Nicole Roufs, finds healing […]

Ground Hog Days: How it Really Feels to Lose a Child

Posted on August 17, 2016 - by Neal Raisman

The first weeks and months were like the movie Groundhog Day. I began each day the same way. Waking. Feeling a free floating anger. Seeing his body on the floor and shuddering in the reality of his death. Struggling to push myself out of bed. Not wanting to get up. The bed and sleep being the only place and time when I could momentarily forget reality. Sleep became a blessing. A time when the horror of that day did not repeat itself endlessly like a looped bit of video. Finally shoving myself to get up. Get dressed. Trying to remember […]

Cristina Flores: Finding Hope After Loss (En espanol)

Posted on August 16, 2016 - by John Rampton

Cristina Flores trabaja con Bo’s Place y es entrevistada por John Rampton de Open to Hope Foundation durante la conferencia de National Alliance for Grieving Children. Flores es la coordinadora de los grupos bilingües en Bo’s Place, un lugar de duelo que le ayuda a los niños, adultos y familiares que han sufrido una perdida en su familia. La mayoría de la gente que utiliza los servicios de esta organización son del área de Houston y hablan español, sin embargo estos no son requisitos. La muerte para los niños es una de las cosas más trágicas que puede ocurrir. Este […]

Children Grieve Differently Than Adults

Posted on August 15, 2016 - by Linda Goldman

Dr. Heidi Horsley interviews Linda Goldman, a fellow in thanatology and the author of several books focusing on grief. Specializing in grieving children, Goldman has received an award from the Association from Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) for her incredible research and passion in the field. What are the most common signs of grieving children? Children can grieve a little differently than adults, but all kids need to know what’s common. Adults need to know this, too! Addressing anxiety is critical. Children will tell their story over and over again. They have an ongoing relationship with the person they love. […]

Jenny Wheeler: Reassuring Grieving Teens

Posted on August 14, 2016 - by Karla Wheeler

Author Jenny Wheeler talks about losing her dad when she was a teenager. She wrote Weird is Normal When Teenagers Grieve to help other teenagers struggling with their own losses. She encourages teens and anyone who’s experienced a loss to connect with the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC), which hosts an annual conference. Wheeler was a speaker at the 2011 event and has found that connecting with others, especially when you’re a teen, can be a great tool for healing. Empathy is something everyone needs, but as a teen it can be tough to reach out. She lost […]

Lynne Ann DeSpelder: The Last Dance

Posted on August 13, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

The Director of the Open to Hope Foundation, Dr. Heidi Horsley, interviews author Lynne Anne DeSpelder. A counselor and psychology professor, DeSpelder wrote The Last Dance: Encountering Death and Dying after years of studying the bereavement field. The book is now in its eighth edition. “The Last Dance” came from the idea that the warrior goes to the mountain to dance his last dance before death. At the core of the book, DeSpelder explores attitudes surrounding death, including language. How do children process death, and how do adults handle it? The book also tackles terminal illnesses and survivors. The experience […]

Finding Hope Among the Global Losses

Posted on August 11, 2016 - by Marguerite OConnor

We have navigated many public losses, from Paris to Orlando to Nice. Some people are very empathetic and feel these losses deeply. Even though they may not have personally known those who died or were injured, they feel the Oneness that we are all connected, that individual choices and experiences affect all of us. For many, it is easier to feel solidarity with the victims, not the perpetrators or their families, but loss is loss and we are, generally speaking, fairly compassionate, as well as resilient. Some people note these tragedies and continue on, thinking they are relatively unchanged or […]