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Go Ahead, Judge Me for My Tattoos: How Memorial Tattoos Help

Posted on June 30, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

“What an idiotic thing – to deface your own body,” an uncle said after I got my first tattoo. He wasn’t interested in the story behind it. Like many people, he’s one that goes through life without checking his assumptions and, as a result, often misses the opportunity to see beauty in unexpected places. Contrary to popular opinion, most tattoos are not butterflies in the small of a woman’s back or skulls and crossbones on men’s shoulders. Recent reports describe the most common tattoo now as tribal, connecting to natural scenes and animals that depict inner strength, spirituality, or […]

How to Recognize Your Coping Style When Dealing with Loss or Change

Posted on June 29, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

If you are struggling with an addiction (of any variety), it may well be that you have not yet fully developed the coping strategies that provide a way to handle various stressful situations. Certainly everyone handles loss and stress differently – and this way of doing things is known as their coping style. If you are falling apart and screaming because you can’t find your keys in the morning, chances are that you have not been employing effective coping strategies in your life to keep you and your life balanced. Then, when (not if) a true life changing loss occurs […]

Lynne Ann DeSpelder: Death Rituals

Posted on June 25, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Lynne Ann DeSpelder talks with Dr. Heidi Horsley about death rituals during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. DeSpelder is a counselor, professor of psychology, and co-author of the book The Last Dance: Encountering Death and Dying, which is now in its eighth edition. A leader in the industry, DeSpelder got into the field of death and dying like many others: It stemmed from first-hand experience. Rituals that are rooted in history are rich in our society today. In a recent visit to the Smithsonian, DeSpelder discovered that making a memorial quilt has been in practice for […]

‘Mort for Short:’ A Bereavement Tale

Posted on June 24, 2016 - by Morton Chethik

This is an excerpt from a book in progress about how play can help children communicate their thoughts and feelings, including grief. The action picks up in the therapist’s office. Nickie, at 8 ½, was not at all happy about seeing a “shrink.” “It was pathetic that they sent me here.” She hated her life. She had lived in a beautiful house before, and now she was squeezed into a small bedroom. Her new stepmother asked her what kind of curtains she would like, and she told her she wanted rags. The street was “pathetic,” the neighbors were “pathetic”. How […]

Coping With Sibling Loss

Posted on June 23, 2016 - by Beryl Kaminsky

Houston, Texas counselor Beryl Kaminsky shares tips for handling sibling loss during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. She wrote Mending the Broken Heart: After Your Child Dies, which is also an audiobook. Working through the loss of a sibling can be traumatizing. Growing up in the shadow of sibling loss can put too much pressure on a child, which Kaminsky experienced first-hand as an adolescent. Your parents are grieving, the rest of your family is grieving, and siblings can feel pressure (imagined or not) to keep everyone together. Then, at 27 years old, Kaminsky also lost […]

Jon Reid: Becoming a Grief Counselor

Posted on June 22, 2016 - by Jessica Tyner Mehta

Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Dr. Jon Reid, a Professor of Psychology and Counseling at Southeastern Oklahoma State during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. He’s a certified fellow in thanatology from ADEC and shares his experience about becoming a grief counselor. There were a few key events that inspired Dr. Reid to pursue this career path. As an adult, he lost his father and realized he didn’t know what to do or what to expect. Feeling totally unprepared, he realized this situation and topic is one that’s uncomfortable yet common for many people. Dr. Reid attended […]

Isabel Stenzel Byrnes: Facing Mortality

Posted on June 21, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

During the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes about finding hope and balance while living with an illness. Born with cystic fibrosis, Byrnes wasn’t given many years to live—but she has proven doctors wrong again and again. She attended CF-related camps as a child and then retreats as an adult. She cites her peers as giving her the support she needed to fight the disease. However, every year she loses friends to this illness and has seen how she will eventually die of CF. It puts her in touch with […]

Shep Jeffreys: Helping Grieving People When Tears are Not Enough

Posted on June 21, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Open to Hope Foundation’s Dr. Gloria Horsley interviews Shep Jeffreys for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) organization. What happens when tears aren’t enough to help you grief? Jeffreys is an assistant professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University. He’s also a psychologist and grief counselor with a private practice. He’s also the author of Helping Grieving People – When Tears Are Not Enough, which just released its second edition. Helping grieving people usually comes with “normal” customary things, but that doesn’t always work for everyone. Many times tears can greatly help a griever—as can friends, church groups, […]

Jenny Wheeler: Reassuring Grieving Teens

Posted on June 20, 2016 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Author Jenny Wheeler talks about losing her dad when she was a teenager. She wrote Weird is Normal When Teenagers Grieve to help other teenagers struggling with their own losses. She encourages teens and anyone who’s experienced a loss to connect with the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC), which hosts an annual conference. Wheeler was a speaker at the 2011 event and has found that connecting with others, especially when you’re a teen, can be a great tool for healing. Empathy is something everyone needs, but as a teen it can be tough to reach out. She lost […]

A Young Father’s Murder

Posted on June 17, 2016 - by Jill Smoot

I met Randall when he was just six years old, the youngest of three siblings, one brother Mickey, and older sister Nancy, who was to become a lifelong friend. But at thirteen, we rarely thought of the future. It was fun to go to her house. Since I was an only child, I thought her little brothers were funny and cute. But time moved incredibly fast, and the little kid Randall grew up, married, and was now a young father himself. Nancy and I also had established homes of our own, and we remained close friends. As I reflect back […]