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Angela Melvin: Parent Loss

Posted on July 6, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Angela Melvin is with Valerie’s House, a non-profit organization in the Naples area of southwest Florida. She’s the founder, and Valerie was her mother who was killed in a car accident 25 years ago. There were no services at that time, and very few now. She knows exactly what it’s like to be a grieving child, and is now committed to making sure no other child is in a similar situation. She recommends helping children cherish the memory of their loved one. Children shouldn’t be ashamed or like they’ll upset their surviving parent if they bring up the loss. Adults […]

Lost (and Found) at Sea: On Grief and Holidays

Posted on July 4, 2016 - by Sue Trace Lawrence

Today is July 4, a holiday for most people in our nation. One of the problems with grief, though, is that it rears its ugly head frequently during special occasions. Whether it is watching others celebrate or being reminded of past events including our loved ones, holidays and other milestones seem to coax out the feelings of loss that we try to bury during our regular days. For me, this date reminds me of my childhood picnics; although largely positive, these recollections also trigger mournful feelings as I am reminded of how much I have lost. Recently, I discovered an […]

What Do We Really Believe About Death?

Posted on July 1, 2016 - by Elizabeth Horwin

This is the second of four articles based on concepts, research and experiences shared in, LOVE NEVER DIES by Elizabeth Horwin WHAT IS DEATH? After studying the religions and cultures of this world for most of my life, what I have found is that an individual’s belief regarding death is deeply rooted in the belief system of their family, their tribe’s culture and/or religion. Based on their belief system, an individual’s thoughts about death can range from fear to joy. There are actually cultures that cry when the child is born and celebrate when a person dies. For those of […]

Go Ahead, Judge Me for My Tattoos: How Memorial Tattoos Help

Posted on June 30, 2016 - by Michelle Jarvie

“What an idiotic thing – to deface your own body,” an uncle said after I got my first tattoo. He wasn’t interested in the story behind it. Like many people, he’s one that goes through life without checking his assumptions and, as a result, often misses the opportunity to see beauty in unexpected places. Contrary to popular opinion, most tattoos are not butterflies in the small of a woman’s back or skulls and crossbones on men’s shoulders. Recent reports describe the most common tattoo now as tribal, connecting to natural scenes and animals that depict inner strength, spirituality, or […]

How to Recognize Your Coping Style When Dealing with Loss or Change

Posted on June 29, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

If you are struggling with an addiction (of any variety), it may well be that you have not yet fully developed the coping strategies that provide a way to handle various stressful situations. Certainly everyone handles loss and stress differently – and this way of doing things is known as their coping style. If you are falling apart and screaming because you can’t find your keys in the morning, chances are that you have not been employing effective coping strategies in your life to keep you and your life balanced. Then, when (not if) a true life changing loss occurs […]

Lynne Ann DeSpelder: Death Rituals

Posted on June 25, 2016 - by Heidi Horsley

Lynne Ann DeSpelder talks with Dr. Heidi Horsley about death rituals during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. DeSpelder is a counselor, professor of psychology, and co-author of the book The Last Dance: Encountering Death and Dying, which is now in its eighth edition. A leader in the industry, DeSpelder got into the field of death and dying like many others: It stemmed from first-hand experience. Rituals that are rooted in history are rich in our society today. In a recent visit to the Smithsonian, DeSpelder discovered that making a memorial quilt has been in practice for […]

‘Mort for Short:’ A Bereavement Tale

Posted on June 24, 2016 - by Morton Chethik

This is an excerpt from a book in progress about how play can help children communicate their thoughts and feelings, including grief. The action picks up in the therapist’s office. Nickie, at 8 ½, was not at all happy about seeing a “shrink.” “It was pathetic that they sent me here.” She hated her life. She had lived in a beautiful house before, and now she was squeezed into a small bedroom. Her new stepmother asked her what kind of curtains she would like, and she told her she wanted rags. The street was “pathetic,” the neighbors were “pathetic”. How […]

Coping With Sibling Loss

Posted on June 23, 2016 - by Beryl Kaminsky

Houston, Texas counselor Beryl Kaminsky shares tips for handling sibling loss during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. She wrote Mending the Broken Heart: After Your Child Dies, which is also an audiobook. Working through the loss of a sibling can be traumatizing. Growing up in the shadow of sibling loss can put too much pressure on a child, which Kaminsky experienced first-hand as an adolescent. Your parents are grieving, the rest of your family is grieving, and siblings can feel pressure (imagined or not) to keep everyone together. Then, at 27 years old, Kaminsky also lost […]

Jon Reid: Becoming a Grief Counselor

Posted on June 22, 2016 - by Jessica Tyner Mehta

Dr. Heidi Horsley talks with Dr. Jon Reid, a Professor of Psychology and Counseling at Southeastern Oklahoma State during the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) conference. He’s a certified fellow in thanatology from ADEC and shares his experience about becoming a grief counselor. There were a few key events that inspired Dr. Reid to pursue this career path. As an adult, he lost his father and realized he didn’t know what to do or what to expect. Feeling totally unprepared, he realized this situation and topic is one that’s uncomfortable yet common for many people. Dr. Reid attended […]

Isabel Stenzel Byrnes: Facing Mortality

Posted on June 21, 2016 - by Gloria Horsley

During the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Isabel Stenzel Byrnes about finding hope and balance while living with an illness. Born with cystic fibrosis, Byrnes wasn’t given many years to live—but she has proven doctors wrong again and again. She attended CF-related camps as a child and then retreats as an adult. She cites her peers as giving her the support she needed to fight the disease. However, every year she loses friends to this illness and has seen how she will eventually die of CF. It puts her in touch with […]