Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Not Home for the Holidays

Posted on December 3, 2015 - by Rhonda Belous

I vividly remember the day that one of my one of my closest friends called me at 1:30 AM to tell me that her Dad had just died. She had left the hospital and although she was audibly distressed, she was still able to drive herself home. “Do you want me to come over?” I compassionately offered. Projecting myself into her shoes, I just could not imagine losing my dad – or my precious, loving mom, for that matter. She has just lost both. That thought petrified me. My dad did indeed die, several years after my friend’s losses. My […]

Sara Daren: Grief Camp for Boys

Posted on December 3, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with Sara Daren about operating grief camps for boys. She operates Experience Camps in Maine and New York. Her work began when she saw her husband working at grief camps designed for all kids. She realized there was a disparity for boy’s camps, as boys grieve very differently than girls. Now, seven years later, she’s beginning to offer camps just for girls, too. The bereavement camps are for children nine through 16 who have experienced any significant loss. There are also camps in California—and all camps are free. Bus transportation is available, and the kids are […]

Is Christmas Still Christmas?

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Jill Smoot

Anyone who has lost someone they love knows the numbing-down effect that death brings. Life becomes in some ways a pantomime, a surreal going-through-the-motions of reality. Especially, this is true at the holiday seasons. Three months after our son’s death, I was on my way to have breakfast with a close friend. I began crying all the way there, and even as I sat down at the restaurant, I lost it. For me — a person who always avoided crying in public — the veneer was being stripped away, raw and revealing. Everything in that establishment was festive and happy. […]

Josh Robinson: Expressing Grief Through Music

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

The Open to Hope Foundation’s Dr. Gloria Horsley talks with musician John Robinson about his work with grief and loss. He had a powerful experience playing music by his grandfather’s bedside in the hospital. After a heart attack, Robinson and his family found they didn’t have words to express how they felt. With music, Robinson began to communicate through the drums. It drowned out the background noise, and slowly families began to seek out Robinson to play privately for their own loved ones. Nurses also took note of Robinson’s work, and saw that it was a great way to heal—for […]

A Lasting Memory of Christmas Past

Posted on December 2, 2015 - by Bart Sumner

I had kissed Abby and David “good night” and was started back down the stairs, when I stopped at the top riser and paused before heading downstairs. The scene laid out below me, in the living room, was what we often lovingly refer to as “Christmas has thrown up all over our house.” I would like nothing more than to say it’s my wife who over-indulges in Christmas, but that would be disingenuous. Between the two of us, we’ve acquired a beyond healthy amount of Christmas stuff. Every year, we dutifully adorn our house. The scene below me that night […]

Cobwebs in December

Posted on December 1, 2015 - by admin

By Catherine Lee It feels like a losing battle. Grief is like cobwebs: I am always running into stray bits stretched across my backdoor. No matter how often I attack the baseboards or upper corners of the living room, reaching my broom and duster, no matter how proficient I become at managing my daily domestic tasks I am bound to find new constructs in unexpected places—or even right out in the open for everyone to see. Sometimes the house spiders work in broad daylight, putting on a show. Shameless. Often, they are busy at night when others are sleeping, anxious […]

Andy McNiel: National Alliance for Grieving Children

Posted on December 1, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

At the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley discusses grieving children with Andy McNiel. McNiel is with the National Alliance, and explains that this organization was founded in 2004 by professionals in the bereavement field who wanted to connect around issues related to childhood bereavement. There was a belief that there was a misunderstanding about kids and their support network. They’ve been gathering for 11 years, offering symposiums to help those in the industry as well as adult caregivers. The Alliance also offers online support and helps people connect with in-person organizations in their community. If you’re […]

Alexis Sandagato: Teens and Grief

Posted on November 30, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

The latest National Alliance for Grieving Children conference brought together Alexis Sandagato and Dr. Heidi Horsley. Sandagato is a teenager who’s a junior in high school and doing a three-year research project on the impacts of parental death and how that affects children. She lost her father when she was two years old, and has spent her childhood without her father. What helped her heal was having a supportive family and professional help. If you feel you need it, don’t be afraid of what anyone else will say or think. Children need support, and to know that other kids have […]

Julie Lockhart: Helping Kids After Parent Loss

Posted on November 28, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

While at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley connected with Julie Lockhart, who operates a non-profit in southern Oregon called Winter Spring. This organization helps parents tend to their children after a parent loss. Father loss comes with a host of issues. Kids who lose a father lose a sense of their identity. The remaining parent or guardians don’t know how to deal with that kind of grief. Lockhart recommends honesty and openness to what your child is experiencing. Children grieve in doses, and often try to protect the remaining parent. Kids often don’t show their […]

Donna Shuurman: Never Too Late to Heal

Posted on November 27, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Meeting at the National Alliance for Grieving Children, Dr. Gloria Horsley and Donna Shuurman meet to talk about healing after a loss. Schuurman is the executive director of The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon, and lost a sister before she was born. Shuurman worked in bereavement for 15 years, and never knew why she was drawn to the work. Years later, she found out that her parents (18 and 19 at the time) had a child who was a girl. She died five days after birth. Every June, her mother would get depressed and her father would say, “It’s about […]