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Grief and Healing: Against the Odds

Posted on December 22, 2015 - by Peter Lichtenberg

This is my story of being widowed at 25 and again at 55, and the deaths of my beloved wives—the first in November 1984 and the second in February 2014. It’s not only that I lost both of these women to an early death, but also that these relationships were once-in-a-lifetime love affairs. Becky and Susan were everything to me: friend, colleague, lover, confidante; the person I most wanted to have fun with and the one I wanted beside me in a crisis. These grief experiences were so different and yet similar: one informed by the other, yet each a […]

First Christmas Without Mom

Posted on December 22, 2015 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

I’m searching the internet for ways to get through this first festival of lights season without my mother. The articles I read about loss and the holidays offer helpful tips for getting through it. So many helpful suggestions: find meaning in your traditions, ask for help, plan ahead, discover what has most value to you, change it up, keep it the same, leave an empty chair at the table, feel the absence. This small list hardly scratches the surface. And what I keep thinking is, skip to January! This is not an option I would actually take, because in some […]

Family Dynamics When Dealing With Loss

Posted on December 21, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview the Ferber family about handling loss as a family unit. Dorothy (mom), David (dad), and Jordan (the couple’s son) discuss the death of Russell—Jordan’s brother. The family found The Compassionate Friends, which was pivotal in helping them celebrate the life of Russell. They created the Russell Ferber Foundation, dedicated to Russell who died in a car accident in his early 20s. Dorothy is a travel writer and became a chapter leader of The Compassionate Friends immediately after losing her son. David is an attorney and facilitates men’s groups in The Compassionate Friends. Jordan is […]

Molly Pickett: How to Talk to Your Grieving Teen

Posted on December 20, 2015 - by John Rampton

How can you talk to a teenager about the grief process? John Rampton with the Open to Hope Foundation interviews Molly Pickett, whose father died when she was young. She remembers there were many hurtful things said to her, often by well-meaning people. She recommends that parents especially avoid saying certain things to kids and teens. However, it’s an individual process. For Pickett, she wanted to protect her mother—and of course her mother wanted to protect her. The silence itself was most painful from her mother. Silence can feel like the grief isn’t acknowledged. A child, especially a teen, will […]

Marci Servizi: Death of a Father

Posted on December 20, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

During the National Alliance for Grieving Children, Marci Servizi connects with Dr. Gloria Horsley to tell her about the death of her father. Based in Seattle, Servizi works with Safe Crossings, which raises money to give to other organizations that serve those who experienced a loss. Her father died on her 12th birthday. As the youngest of ten children, she had a lot of support in her Catholic family. Still, the entire family was grieving at the same time. There wasn’t the same kind of support then that there is now. When she lost her father, when people said, “What […]

Maryana Stern: Foster Kids Helping Each Other

Posted on December 19, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

During the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference, Dr. Heidi Horsley interviews Maryana Stern of Foster Club and a former foster child in the system. It’s a peer to peer support program, and you need to have been in foster care yourself to participate. Now an advocate, she works to change policies that will improve the experience of foster care and works with children around the world. Another aspect of her work is serving as a mentor and big sister to foster youth who might not otherwise have that experience and support. Having come from the foster system herself, Stern […]

Accepting What We Cannot Change

Posted on December 18, 2015 - by Donna Miesbach

There is no question about it – accepting the loss of loved one can be one of our most difficult challenges, and yet acceptance is part of the answer we are looking for. As long as we resist what has happened, we cannot move beyond it. It is only when we can accept the change that we are able to move on with our life. This doesn’t happen all at once, but if we are patient, if we are compassionate with ourselves and our need to grieve, eventually – step by cautious step, piece by little piece, we begin to […]

Andy McNiel: Giving Children Space to Grieve

Posted on December 13, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Andy McNiel at the National Alliance for Grieving Children conference. Giving children space to grieve after a loss is critical, although many adult caregivers push children to grieve in a way they see fit—which is usually how adults more often heal. Children heal and grieve in bursts and might not be fond of talking. They might communicate via play, sports, music, or by talking in very comfortable surroundings. Don’t assume that a child isn’t grieving just because they’re not talking to you, their parent (or don’t seem to be talking at all!). However, if a […]

Snow Globe of Emotions at Christmas

Posted on December 6, 2015 - by Shannon Harris

Reflecting on where I was last Christmas brings up a snow globe of emotions. Sadness, joy, anger, frustration and even relief swirl all around me. A flurry of feelings from my head down through my heart and into my stomach, then back up to my throat and eventually they escape in the form of tears. Holidays should be a time of spirituality, kindness, family and cheer, shouldn’t they? Why, then, do they bring out the most selfish aspects of people? My snow globe was turned upside down last Christmas in my fourth year of grieving the loss of my son. […]

Practicing the Arts of Tenderness and Gratitude

Posted on December 5, 2015 - by Bunny Bennett

The holiday season is upon us, and I appreciate having a time when we are reminded to give thanks for the blessings and friendships we enjoy. Because of the demands of life, stress, and grief, we may often let days go by without stopping to say two simple words to those people who help us, who have changed our lives, who sacrificed for us, and bless us with friendship. Just two uncomplicated words: thank you! How uplifting it can be to give and receive those two words! Such an easy way to demonstrate tenderness and gratitude to one another. One […]