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Can Gratitude be Part of the Grieving Process?

Posted on November 6, 2015 - by Joni Norby

Gratitude does not come naturally to most of us when we’re dealing with intense grief and especially after the immediate loss of a child. I had to actively find my way back to gratitude following these two steps: Acknowledge God plays a role in my life – if I let Him. Invite Him into my life by asking for His comfort and grace through prayer. After the sudden death of our son, Ben, all I could muster for prayer were two words: “Help me!!” Even though it was short, direct, and demanding, my prayer was heartfelt, and over time I […]

The Music of Life

Posted on November 5, 2015 - by Paul Coleman

In the happiest of times, life rings out like a soaring piece of orchestral music, a symphony for my soul. The violins are lovely; the trumpets glorious; the flutes and piccolos giddy with excitement. The notes from the cellos glide gracefully, elegantly, a swan on a lake. Poom-pooming, the bass drums pound out a rhythm, a march toward some yet-to-be-heard breathtaking finale. And in the middle of this song I say “This, this is life!” And then, in life, there is sudden loss; as if the conductor abruptly and harshly gestures for a new score while the previous score is […]

Should Children Participate in Funeral Services?

Posted on November 5, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Dr. David Meagher created the graduate program of Thanatology at Brooklyn College, where he’s also an emeritus professor. He joins Dr. Heidi Horsley for a special episode of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) organization’s web series to discuss whether or not children should participate in funeral services. The short answer? It depends. There are many factors to consider, and every child is different. It can be healing or harmful depending on the scenario, as well as how it’s handled. He’s also the author of Zach and His Dog, which shares how children may handle grief. Post-death rituals […]

The Empty Holiday Plate

Posted on November 4, 2015 - by Neal Raisman

The holidays. Thanksgiving. Christmas. Chanukah. Kwanza. Times to be happy and celebrate. For others, but not for me. For me, it is a time of an empty plate at the table. A remembrance of my child. My child used to sit at that plate heaping turkey and potatoes on his plate. A smile on his eager face. But no more. No more will I see him and that plate will remain empty. Empty as my heart, I fear. And all around me, will be celebrating and smiling while I feel I have little to celebrate or smile about. He is […]

Darcy Harris: Reproductive Loss

Posted on November 4, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

The thanatology coordinator at Kings University College, Darcy Harris, joins the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) to discuss one of the most disenfranchised of losses: Reproductive loss. She’s also a therapist who specializes in loss, transition, and change. Also an editor on a recent book on loss, Harris is a revered expert in the field. Specifically, Harris says reproductive loss usually isn’t recognized—but it is very significant to parents. The expectation that you can become pregnant when you wish and deliver a healthy baby is suddenly shattered. Especially for women, the realization that this isn’t always true can […]

Inspiring Attitudes and Holiday Help

Posted on November 3, 2015 - by Marguerite OConnor

I have had the honor of working with people who had or have life limiting conditions. When I was prearranging a funeral for a client who had been given a serious diagnosis, he decided to get his affairs in order. Widowed, he called an old sweetheart and found that she was not in a relationship. He shared how special she was to him and invited her on a cruise, all expenses paid and no strings attached. He arranged for a friend to finish out the lease on his luxury automobile. He arranged the monetary inheritance for his family members. He […]

Joy Berger: Using Music to Compose Life Out of Loss

Posted on November 3, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

The Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) features Joy Berger talking about the impact music and composition has made in her life. The founder of Composing Life, Berger is an advocate of using music to heal. She wrote Music of the Soul: Composing Life Out of Loss to help others use music in their own healing journey. Music has always been central to her life, whether it was dancing ballet, performing in an orchestra, or learning Bach on the piano. She pursued a doctorate in music, but a sudden injury to her hand put a brief halt to her […]

Fourteen Days to Heaven: Being with Mom at End of Life

Posted on November 2, 2015 - by James Einert

The phone rang early one morning as I was getting ready to go to work. “Come quick, something is wrong with your mother!” came my dad’s voice from the other end of the line. We quickly got into the car and headed the eighth mile to my mom and dad’s house. My mother had toxemia when I was born. Her blood pressure had gone sky high, and caused her to be blind for several months after I was born. Later, the doctors at Mayo Clinic could not believe I had lived when she told them I was two years […]

Letter to a Loved One, Twenty Years Later

Posted on November 1, 2015 - by Cheryl Espinosa-Jones

Dear Joanne, Today marks twenty years since I walked you over the threshold and out of your life on this earth. It feels like yesterday. It feels like 100 years ago. I cried last night at the benefit for the Breast Cancer Fund. It’s complicated when I cry like that. I’m crying because you are no longer bringing your good nature, your fierce determination and your insight into this life. I’m crying because so many others are going through what we went through (the room was full of them). I’m crying in wonder and disbelief at all the changes we […]

Father’s Day: The Many Aspects of Loss

Posted on November 1, 2015 - by Neil Chethik

The Open to Hope show’s Father’s Day special provides a number of tools for handling one of the most difficult days of the year. Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome guests Neil Chethik (Executive Editor for the Open to Hope Foundation and author of Father Loss: How Sons of All Ages Come to Terms with the Deaths of Their Dads), Jenny Wheeler (author of Weird is Normal: When Teenagers Grieve), and Mitch Carmody (author of Letters to My Son, Turning Loss to Legacy). There are many complicated matters in father loss, explains Chethik. The younger the child, the greater the […]