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‘Lonely’ Not Powerful Enough Word to Describe Widowhood

Posted on July 16, 2015 - by Catherine Tidd

The Word ‘Lonely’ Not Strong Enough Loneliness in widowhood is not surprising.  I mean, even for the people who have never been through it, the loneliness of widows is a no-brainer.  But frankly, I think that lonely is not a strong enough word. There is a deep silence that comes with losing your spouse.  And it doesn’t matter if you’re standing in the middle of a crowded room; you will still notice it.  It’s the quiet that comes when you don’t have that familiar voice whispering in your ear at a wedding, “Can you believe she wore that?  I mean, what […]

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Melissa Pettignano: The Holidays After Loss

Posted on July 15, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

Singer/songwriter Melissa Pettignano joins Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley to discuss the death of her aunt during the 9/11 tragedy. Pettignano transitioned from singer to inspirational speaker, today specializing in both and committed to helping others find hope after a tragedy. “When 9/11 happened I was 13 years old, and my aunt was missing…it was very difficult on myself and my family.” However, she remembers her aunt as the type of woman who wanted everybody to celebrate and have a great time. “She would say, ‘Listen, if anything happens, you keep celebrating.’” Her aunt was sure that even in bad […]

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Dawn Nargi and Roselyn Drake: Widows Helping Widows

Posted on July 15, 2015 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

In this episode of The Open to Hope show, Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley talk with Dawn Nargi and Roselyn Drake about The W Connection. This organization began in 2009 “out of necessity,” says Nargi. She shares that in 2007, she and her husband became pregnant—their son was born two months premature. Shortly after bringing their son home, Nargi’s husband finally went to the doctor after experiencing pain throughout the pregnancy. He discovered that he had late stage cancer, and died just two months later. “We were on top of the world, and I became a new mom and widow […]

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Damita SunWolf LaRue: Enhancing Resiliency While Healing from Loss as a Native American

Posted on July 14, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley connects with Damita SunWolf LaRue, MA, LPA at the Association for Death Education and Counseling conference 2015. LaRue is a member of the Cherokee Nation and a doctoral student studying Clinical Psychology at the Chicago School of Professional Psychology. She’s also an Indian Health Services Scholar, specializing in serving culturally diverse communities with a focus on the Native American community. Historically, Native Americans have had a unique experience with grief and loss, particularly within a cultural lens due to losses of culture, religion, freedom, land, health and language. LaRue points out that even though many of these […]

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Nancy Sharp: Both Sides Now

Posted on July 9, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Nancy Sharp, author of Both Sides Now, talked to Dr. Heidi Horsley during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. The day Sharp gave birth to twins, she learned that her husband’s cancer had returned in full force. Holding both life and death in the same moment became the foundation of her birth. What she learned is that navigating the grayness of life requires the ability to hold dualities. Life and death, joy and sorrow, black and white. Ultimately, Sharp’s husband died of a brain tumor. She re-started from scratch, creating a new life with her twins in […]

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Dr. Jon Reid: Chinese Culture and Grief

Posted on July 8, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Jon Reid is a past president of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC), and he spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley during the 2015 ADEC conference about Chinese culture and grief. “There’s a much greater reluctance to talk about death and dying in Chinese culture, mostly because it’s considered bad luck,” Dr. Reid shares. It’s also uncomfortable for American children (adult or otherwise) to talk to their parents about death planning, but it’s seen as inevitable. However, in the Chinese culture, doing so is thought to bring bad luck and it’s avoided entirely. Dr. Reid recalls once he […]

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What Loss Has Taught Me: Everybody’s on the Tightrope

Posted on July 7, 2015 - by Sarah Kravits

The other day, I went out running to clear my head, something I often do in a continuing quest to manage my grief over the loss of my brother a year ago. I had my iPod on a random shuffle. Janelle Monáe’s song, “Tightrope,” came on after I had gone about a mile and a half, and some of the lyrics found a newly-cleared corner of my brain and lodged there. Whether you’re high or low Baby whether you’re high or low You got to tip on the tightrope As I wondered why these words stuck with me, I realized […]

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Memoir of a Spirit

Posted on July 6, 2015 - by Elisa Medhus

Many of us grapple with the thought of our own mortality. It’s a frightening unknown cloaked in mystery, but it doesn’t have to be. My son, Erik, took his own life just after his 20th birthday. Since he was 14 years old, he struggled with severe bipolar disease. On top of this, he had odd tics and learning disabilities, and all of this caused him to be target of bullies, even teachers. Of course my family and I were devastated, and my grief was compounded by the fact that I was raised by atheists so I didn’t even know whether […]

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Bob Neimeyer: How to Grieve as a Couple

Posted on June 30, 2015 - by Robert Neimeyer

One of Open to Hope’s Board members, Bob Neimeyer, spoke with Dr. Gloria Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference about grieving as a couple.  “You’ve told me for many years that I don’t have to give up memories of my child,” she tells Neimeyer. Sadly, Neimeyer explains that one of the go-to strategies in 20th century grief culture in America is the idea that everyone needs to let go. “We need not let them go,” he says. Grieving is really a way of learning how to hold on in a sustainable way. Grieving is how […]

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Franklin Cook: Suicide Survivors and Grief Coaching

Posted on June 28, 2015 - by Franklin Cook

Franklin Cook specializes in suicide prevention project management via a coaching business. He offers one-on-one support for those who are grieving after losing a loved one to suicide in a process he calls personal grief coaching. “People are very much in shock after a loss from suicide, and so one thing they need is good, compassionate care from those who respond, whether it’s first responders or it’s the minister” or anyone else. However, there are unique “must haves” when it comes to consistent caregivers over time. Getting the “right match” can make all the difference. “The reason why” is a […]

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