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Forgiveness in Grief

Posted on September 2, 2015 - by Maria Kubitz

I visited my 95-year old grandmother recently. She lives over 300 miles from me, so I don’t get to see her as often as I’d like. As we sat catching up, she mentioned that she had been having more and more thoughts about times earlier in life when, in her words, she did things that “were not very nice”. The example she gave me was when, as a frustrated young mother, she spanked my father out of anger during potty training that wasn’t going too smoothly. Recalling the memory brought her to tears. Knowing my father was coming to stay […]

Lara Krawchuk: Grieving for Dad

Posted on September 1, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley discusses grieving for dad with Lara Krawchuk, a clinical social worker in Pennsylvania. She lost her father, paternal grandmother, and was handling becoming a new mother all at once. As a specialist in oncology therapy and an adjunct professor in the grief and loss field, Krawchuk is a strong believer in discovering meaning in grief. She points out that her father died too young and simply at the wrong time. Having two children is difficult enough without losing a grandparent, but she realized she saw hope in her children’s faces every day. Today, she knows her father […]

Pursuit of ‘Answers’ May Be Way to Avoid Feelings

Posted on September 1, 2015 - by Annie Marler

When someone dies suddenly or in unexpected circumstances, you will be overcome by the sort of grief that seems consuming (with all of the complicating bedfellows of anger, disbelief, guilt) and you’re going to face the hardest questions to answer. How did it happen? And why did it happen? Since my best friend died, I have found myself searching for answers to these questions and when the darkness descends in me, I fear my only chance for peace is locked within the secrets of her death. I was able (no, doggedly persistent, in all honesty) to “break” into my friend’s […]

‘Isn’t Mom Done Being Dead Yet?’

Posted on August 30, 2015 - by Lauren Muscarella

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.” That’s what my mom always said. I’d holler back, “Well, one right and one wrong don’t make a right either, MMMommm.” Whenever she said that, I had no idea what she was talking about. I took it as a sign of weakness like she was advocating I be a doormat. I was sensitive to the idea that woman are nurturing pushovers, only. We’re constantly bombarded with the idea that women are people pleasers. We see articles saying women use the word “just” more than men, and that we apologize when someone bumps into us, […]

Brianne Overton: Helping Teens Grieve

Posted on August 30, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

Brianne Overton tells Dr. Heidi Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference that teens really don’t have a voice when it comes to grief. Since they’re in between children and adults, many adults think they’ll grieve similarly to their more mature peers, but that isn’t the case. Teens are in a demographic of their own and they do grieve differently. Plus, in the Digital Era, more and more teens look online for support and have developed their own methods (which is why the phrase “funeral selfie” is a reality). Adults might think teens aren’t grieving because […]

Pastor Ron Ritter: Telling Your Story After the Death of a Loved One

Posted on August 29, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

During the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference, Dr. Gloria Horsley interviewed Pastor Ron Ritter about storytelling after a loved one’s death. Pastor Ritter holds an MD and Bachelor’s degree in Business Administration from Drexel University in Philadelphia and completed his seminary training at Concordia Theological Seminary in Illinois. Ordained a pastor within the Lutheran Church in Missouri Synod in 1970, he’s a Baltimore native and served in the US Marine Corps Reserve for five years in the 1960s. His military career includes serving as the Navy Chaplain for an additional six years after reserve duty. During this […]

Integrative Grief Therapy

Posted on August 29, 2015 - by Lyn Prashant

Lyn Prashant talks with Dr. Gloria Horsley at the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. She lost her husband, and knows exactly how grief symptoms can show up in the body. Grieving is an emotional and physical process, she explains. If you care for your body as a barometer of truth, it can be a great tool to address what you’re dealing with. Listen to the body, and this way you can attend to your needs which are unique to who you are and your loss. One of the most common body messages is to have it contract. […]

Siblings Forgotten Mourners

Posted on August 29, 2015 - by Heidi Horsley

When Dr. Heidi Horsley was in college, she lost her 17-year-old brother Scott in a car accident. “The loss was so severe for me and the pain was so great, I honestly didn’t know how I was going to survive or if I even wanted to.” She remembers the early years, and how many people told her she needed to be strong for her parents. Not only was that advice unhelpful, but it was also hurtful. Today, as an industry expert on grief and loss, Dr. Horsley shares the best tips for coping and healing when you experience a loss. […]

David Goldblatt: The Process of Funeral to Cemetery

Posted on August 28, 2015 - by Gloria Horsley

Dr. Gloria Horsley discusses the funeral to cemetery journey with David Goldblatt during the 2015 Association for Death Education and Counseling conference. He’s with Beth Israel Cemetery in New Jersey, and knows firsthand just how confusing the funeral and cemetery planning process can be for those in bereavement. While death is of course common, it’s not necessarily common to be the person in charge of handling all of the details. For many bereaved, it’s their first time and they need a compassionate professional to help them understand the process. As the Family Service Manager, Goldblatt works with families of all […]

R-A-W Emotions

Posted on August 27, 2015 - by Basia Mosinski

We often hear that the death of a loved one brings people closer together. When we feel safe and can share with others, we move in and out of grief feeling supported and stable in the love that we have for the deceased. If people are fighting instead, feelings of loss may be compounded. In my own experience and through a number of stories that have been shared with me, some relationships appear to suffer permanent damage after the loss of a loved one. People who were close to the deceased don’t necessarily share the same perceptions, memories, experiences and/or […]