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Writer Penny Slusher on Somber-Free Rites

Posted on January 8, 2015 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

Buying presents for the dead and gifting them; knowing your “mama dance” and texting as the deceased: this and more when memory artist, Nancy Gershman talks with writer and actress Penny Slusher about somber-free rites. Currently, Slusher is working on a one-woman show about the house she grew up in Bristol Tennessee, and how living with tragic events affected the family in their daily lives. Take your meals with the dying, whether they’re hungry or not Be what the dying need you to be Behave as if the dying still care about manners Study your mom so one day you can do The Mama Dance Before you […]

The Greater Question

Posted on January 5, 2015 - by Charles W. Sidoti

This article is an excerpt from “Living at God’s Speed, Healing in God’s Time” written by Charles W. Sidoti and Rabbi Akiva Feinstein. Seldom does a week (or even a day or an hour) go by when we are not confronted with the question “Why?” Why are lives devastated by illness, hunger, and devastating loss? Why financial crisis, abusive and broken relationships? Why car wrecks and plane crashes? Why do children need to die? Our generation is also challenged by global “whys?” There are catastrophic natural phenomena, tsunamis, earthquakes, war, and events like 9/11, to name but a few. Tragedy […]

Heart-Shaped Door: A Story of Kids and Art

Posted on January 4, 2015 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

“What do you think you’d want to draw that’s at home?” asks Gary Vasgerdsian, an artist who today is wearing his volunteer hat, participating in a unique program called Kids & Art. The two youngsters he is addressing are Bay Area kids who belong to a very special population of children. Their lives have been touched by cancer. Looking around the room here at the Peninsula Museum of Art, it might not be apparent who in this group is undergoing cancer treatment. At first glance, you might think these are kids doing an “ordinary” art workshop. Just by looking you […]

Coping with the New Year Blues

Posted on January 1, 2015 - by Lora Mercado

It seems that everyone is excited to start the new year ahead with gusto, and plans for the future. To someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one, this can bring about even stronger feelings of sadness and despair. The one we spent our time with is no longer here to make plans with, while the world moves on without us. Some grievers may feel that there is nothing left to live for at this very delicate time in their life. This thought couldn’t be more wrong. Each and every one of us has a purpose in this […]

Open the Door, Welcome Joy

Posted on December 28, 2014 - by Susan Casey

“Twinkling lights, horse-drawn carriages and the Sugar Plum Fairy all aglow. Evergreens and mistletoe, and Gingerbread houses lined in a row. Stockings hung by wood stoves, dogs curled up on the floor, as we sit and rock with our memories knocking at our door.” Time is measured from the moment our loved ones inhale their last breath. We hear the twitching of the clock’s hands, the tick-tock, tick-tock, reminding us that time passes, even if it feels as though we’re trapped in some elusive nightmare—one we’ll never awaken from until our own heart beats a final beat. The sun inches […]

Holidays and Loss in a Fractured Family

Posted on December 27, 2014 - by Lyn Prashant

Not all holiday memories are fond. In fact, many people proclaim that they’re hiding out or finding an escape route during this season of forced festivity. Emotional distress looms largely for the lonely and bereaved. Extreme challenges and additional difficulties are presented from cultural pressures to be jolly rather than being authentic especially for the newly bereaved. Offering a mixed bag of memories, emotions, familiar smells, nostalgic songs holiday rituals usually stimulate memories of people and holidays past, provoking painful unresolved issues from longstanding difficulties. “Loss and Grief are as universal as a smile.” Bereavement is a natural process that […]

Merry Christmas, Dad!

Posted on December 25, 2014 - by Lisa Khuraibet

I sat in my car. I wasn’t sure I had the nerve to do it. I looked at the letter I held in my hand. Would this work? Could I possibly find peace after 26 years, merely by reading a letter aloud? It was a suggestion by a friend. Write your dad a letter and tell him the good and the bad. Talk to him, and pray for healing and forgiveness. I took out the letter and looked at it. I read it aloud. Funny, I didn’t feel any different. I was very nervous; afraid someone might see me and […]

How to Fill an Empty Stocking

Posted on December 24, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

It is the day after Thanksgiving, or “black Friday” as most of us refer to it these days. I imagine myself in my best holiday shopping outfit complete with new leather boots, a warm peacoat and a bright holiday scarf. I navigate the Vintage Faire Mall parking lot like a champion. With my non-fat, extra hot white chocolate mocha in hand I brave the crowds to meet up with my best girlfriends. We laugh, we wait in long lines and sing along with the cheesy holiday soundtracks playing in the background. But this is not how my day is going. […]

We’ll Celebrate Her Life; We’ll Sing

Posted on December 22, 2014 - by Susan Troccolo

When the doctor in the emergency room asked Dad, “How long has your daughter been drinking?”, it broke his heart and it made him mad. “You don’t know this girl,” he said. “You don’t know my daughter.” After Jilly died on July 3, 2014, Dad and I talked on the phone nearly every day for weeks. I swear we were going through the stages of grief together—on the phone—crying and laughing and trying to understand, which was the hardest part. We talked through the facts, though we knew nothing could have been different. Jilly had been fourteen when our mom […]

Flavorless Holidays

Posted on December 21, 2014 - by Karen Johnson

Despite the loss in your life, the wondering how you can bear the changes, and the dread of the approaching Holidays – they come anyway. The flavor of “Season Greetings” is severely altered and not to your liking. My Mom died twenty years ago and my heart still twists when I hear Christmas Carols. Oh how she loved Christmas. Her children & grandchildren would gather round never knowing if she would be dressed like Mrs. Santa Claus or wearing a Santa hat and jingle bell necklace or some never-heard of Christmas game that she made up. But more than that […]