Open to Hope Articles

Articles Home

Do’s & Don’ts for the Widow/Widower Embracing New Love

Posted on October 25, 2014 - by Gloria Lintermans

Is it possible to mourn the loss of a beloved spouse and, while still grieving, to not only meet someone special, but fall in love and begin to build a new relationship that includes a commitment to sharing your lives? Can we overlap our loving and our grieving? The answer is a profound: YES! But, to smooth the path, keep these helpful Do’s and Don’ts in mind: • Do allow yourself the joy of healing and moving on. • Do allow yourself to feel good when this happens. • Don’t feel guilty. You have been respectful, loving and caring towards […]

Wedding Day a Lesson in Process of Grief

Posted on October 24, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

In 2007, my twin grandchildren’s parents died from the injuries they received in separate car crashes. The twin’s mother, our daughter, listed my husband and me as the twin’s guardians in her will. Suddenly we were GRGs, grandparents raising grandchildren. The twins, one boy and one girl, came to live with us when they were 15 years old. Suddenly, we were reliving the teenage years. We attended gymnastics meets, choir concerts, marching band concerts, and other high school events. Seven years passed, and during this time, we melded into a grand family. When the twins left for college, we were […]

My Way of Living with Death

Posted on October 22, 2014 - by Radha Stern

If there is one word to describe me, it would be “Mother.” When I hear “Mom” in a grocery store, I turn, ready for action. I want every one of all ages to be happy, healthy and well cared for. It is in my DNA. My son, Christopher Robin Hotchkiss, was murdered by his roommate, Mark James Taylor, on March 21, 1996. Christopher was 21 years old. He was shot four times with a handgun because of an argument over where to put the dishes. It’s a parent’s worst nightmare to get this kind of news. What hit me first, […]

Dozens of Do’s and Don’ts for the Bereaved

Posted on October 22, 2014 - by Gloria Lintermans

Do call a friend when you are blue. Do water the flowers and take time to smell them; work in the garden, pull out weeds. Do something positive for yourself every day. Do get enough sleep. Do exercise daily. Do remember to take time to eat. Do think positive thoughts every day. Do spend time with family and friends. Do get as much support as you can. Do open the mail. Do treasure your loved ones. Do resist the temptation to run away from your pain by keeping yourself frantically busy every waking moment. Do journal in a notebook about […]

Meaningful Suffering

Posted on October 21, 2014 - by Katherine Ingram

“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” ~C.G. Jung I don’t know if it’s the time of year, phase of life, or just my peculiar vantage point, but almost everyone I know is going through some serious suffering. I’m not […]

Asking the ‘Why’ Question

Posted on October 20, 2014 - by Paul Coleman

Our logical, analytical mind demands answers to tough questions. Chief among them is often “Why did this tragedy have to happen?” When our pain is great and our loss profound, we go to our mind hoping to find comfort in answers that are not forthcoming. We might be able to answer a question in practical terms, such as, “He died because of a car accident,” but we don’t have an answer to the more cosmic “Why?” Will we ever get an answer? Do we need answers? Our mind does need answers–at least it always wants to seek them out. But […]

Friends of Bereaved: Don’t Do These Things

Posted on October 15, 2014 - by Gloria Lintermans

The bereaved often feel upset by the things people say to them. Of course, they often feel that nothing is a comfort and anything that is said is offensive. If we are feeling terribly wounded, words don’t comfort; comforting hugs or an arm around your shoulder feel much better. Statements and questions such as, “How are you doing?” Or, “Are you doing better?” or “It’s hard for me, it must be terrible for you,” do not feel good when we are in the shock of mourning. Here are a few other don’ts: Don’t say you understand when you don’t understand […]

A Baseball Cap of Memories

Posted on October 11, 2014 - by Paula Ezop

When my husband died, there were reminders of our life together everywhere I looked. Sweet, lovely memories surrounded me, and those memories gave me much needed comfort in those dark, dark, dark days of despair and loneliness. His favorite leather jacket hung in the closet next to my jackets and coats. His shoes lined the closet floor, and his drawers were filled with his favorite socks, underwear, and polo shirts. I would touch his articles of clothing, and whisper how much I loved him, and how much I missed him. It was a ritual I would do morning and night. […]

Ask, Seek, and Knock Loudly on God’s Door

Posted on October 10, 2014 - by Elizabeth Brady

On the snowy night of December 30, 2012, I was reflecting on the past year in my journal. I have journaled regularly since 1990, when I lived in the bush in West Africa and had little else to occupy myself during the silent nights in my mud brick house. I wrestled for a while as to whom I was addressing my journal, but eventually I realized I was sharing my thoughts and fears with God. So, I have written thousands of “Dear Lord” entries over the years. Curled up in front of the fire after the kids were asleep, I […]

Finding Hope After Loss

Posted on October 9, 2014 - by John Pete

The very painful losses of loved ones can perhaps only be made less devastating by giving them substance beyond the devastation. Over time painful grief can be reshaped into something less confined to hopelessness and pain, and more open to faith, hope and healing; and anger and frustration into something less corrosive and more forgiving of self and others. If there is to be real purpose for life, death and human tragedy, I think we must seek it out and embrace it as a part of our own existence.