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Joan Rivers’ Death Highlights Value of Advance Directives

Posted on September 6, 2014 - by Lisa Irish

Joan Rivers’ recent, and sudden, death highlights the value of completing Advance Directives. Hopefully, her family knew her wishes for any time she was not able to speak for herself. Their end-of-life decisions, then, would be directed by Joan’s values instead of their own fears and feelings. Advance Directives (AD) is the “umbrella” document that covers the following end-of-life choices: • Healthcare Agent/Proxy or Representative – the most important element of AD, this decision names the person(s) that will speak for you if you are not able to speak for yourself. This person has talked with you, understands your wishes […]

Because My Son is in a Box

Posted on September 6, 2014 - by Shannon Harris

Because my son is in a box on my shelf, I no longer give a shit about how I appear to the outside world. I do not care that I am misunderstood. I do not care that I am offensive or seem selfish. For once in my life I have no desire to explain myself. I want what I want out of this dense experience, and I am tired of defending that. I will attempt, here, perhaps in vain, to do so one last time. The only difference between myself and any other woman on this planet is that I […]

Life Isn’t Short, But Our Memories Are

Posted on September 5, 2014 - by Bob Baugher

You hear it all the time. “Life is short.” “Time goes by so fast.” “It seems only yesterday that ….” “How did I get this age?” “Where did the time go?’” Let’s look at this closely. First, because we sleep about one-third of the time, this leaves 67% of our life in a waking state. Okay, I know that some of you aren’t getting enough sleep, so you can subtract one-fourth, leaving 75%. Second, many of our daily behaviors are habits—rituals if you will—that we typically do without thinking and therefore do not get stored in our long-term memory. Let’s […]

Joan Rivers and Life Support

Posted on September 1, 2014 - by Gloria Horsley

Update: Joan Rivers passed away not 12 hours after we originally posted this article. The recent tragic news of Joan Rivers, legendary comedian, being placed on life support after going into cardiac and respiratory arrest on Thursday has made many of us think about end-of-life choices. Our thoughts and prayers are with Joan Rivers and her family at this difficult time, and we send them hope and strength. Life support involves many difficult emotions for the patient’s family. Anticipatory grief before the death of a loved one can be overwhelming. When someone no longer has any chance of recovery, or […]

Working on Posttraumatic Growth, Another Life Journey

Posted on August 31, 2014 - by Harriet Hodgson

For the past seven years I’ve been learning and writing about grief. In 2007, four family members, including my elder daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law, all died. My daughter, mother of our twin grandkids, and the grandkid’s father, died in separate car crashes. I wondered if I would survive these traumatic losses. There was no time for self-pity, however, because my husband and I became our grandchildren’s guardians. This responsibility changed my life and my writing. Instead of writing about health/wellness, I began to write about healing from grief, and in the process, learned many new terms. I just […]

Everything Happens for a Reason? Not Necessarily

Posted on August 30, 2014 - by Bob Baugher

Everything happens for a reason. We hear it all the time. I have been hearing it for years from my Psychology students. Part of my job as their instructor is to teach them the art of critical thinking. Yet, when my students get involved in a discussion especially of a senseless tragedy, inevitably many of them say with conviction, “Well, I believe everything happens for a reason.” usually followed by an uplifted shoulder shrug. In my field of work as a death educator and former counselor, I’ve met thousands of people who’ve experienced all kinds of tragedies. What follows is […]

Using the Pen to Return from Grief

Posted on August 29, 2014 - by Julie Nierenberg

Since my dad’s passing in April of 2012, I’ve learned there are many, varied, and sometimes unusual, ways people find to support their grief and integrate the inescapable reality of loss. No single process is best for everyone. For my own acceptance and eventual comfort, I turned to the pen. His death was not unexpected. Stage IV cancer was diagnosed more than three years before Daddy died. Nor was the moment of his passing a sudden or traumatic occurrence. He died peacefully holding my hand. Nonetheless, I was traumatized, as I believe all who lose loved ones are, by his […]

Comic Yisrael Campbell on Uplifting the Dying

Posted on August 23, 2014 - by Nancy Gershman, LMSW

How can you use your talents to make the dying feel like they’re at the center of your universe? Be a DJ on a pretend radio station with your friend’s name in the call letters: this idea and more when memory artist Nancy Gershman speaks with Yisrael Campbell (born Chris Campbell): a comedian of Irish and Italian descent, who grew up Catholic in Philadelphia and now lives with his wife and four kids as an Orthodox Jew in Israel. The star and writer behind the critically acclaimed Off Broadway show “Circumcise Me,” Yisrael brings his one-man show to The Edinburgh Fringe Festival August 2014. […]

Don’t Forget to Check Your Dip Stick: Maintaining Strength During Grief

Posted on August 19, 2014 - by Kim Meredith

After crouching on a lime-green foam kneeling pad, he pushed with all of his might against the 6’x6’ thick concrete cover. “Wait, Dad, let me help you,” I interrupted as I joined him by squatting down near the well cover, planting my feet firmly in the bordering sedum. “Oh, I can do it. Just hold it up when I lift it,” my father instructed me in a firm voice. He pried open the lid with a long metal gardening tool which was designed for digging up weeds, but now he was using it like a giant bottle opener. I leaned […]

We Would Have Died For You: The Journey of Bereaved Parents

Posted on August 19, 2014 - by Maria Kubitz

From the moment we found out you were coming into our lives, we felt electric: a mix of excitement, adrenalin, and a dose of fear for good measure. We dutifully began plotting the course of our lives together – starting with milestones like kindergarten, puberty, graduation, career, wedding, grandchildren, etc. Then we began making our maps more detailed with our hopes and dreams for you. We prepared as well as we could for your arrival. On the day we welcomed you into our lives, we held out our loving arms and said softly, “Welcome. We’ve been waiting for you.” We […]