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Creating Sacred Space: Interview with Rev. Ian Smith

Posted on May 17, 2014 - by Gloria Horsley

This was a brief interview done with Dr. Gloria Horsley on April 24, 2014 at the 36th Annual Conference of the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) from April 23-26 in Baltimore, MD. The speaker is Rev. Ian Smith. I am an ordained minister of the United Church of Canada and working as a congregational pastor in suburban Montréal, Québec, Canada. I am also the volunteer Spiritual Care Coordinator for the West Island Palliative Care Residence in Kirkland, Québec, since October 2003. I became very interested in the field of death and dying in 1982 when a part of […]

Aging and Identity: We’re Not Dead Yet

Posted on May 16, 2014 - by Stan Goldberg

In Aging and Identity Part I, I maintained the role of identity may be critical in understanding how we react to aging; including the many desperate decisions we make, such as an obsession with appearing youthful, painful tummy tucks, and foolishly engaging in a multitude of activities our bodies are no longer capable of doing. In Aging and Identity Part II, I suggested a few strategies for dealing with our changing identities. In this final article, I’ll offer suggestions for those who are confused how to deal with us “older” folks. We’re Not Dead Yet We may be changing, but […]

Losing a Fiance: Wedding Turned to Funeral

Posted on May 15, 2014 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

Recently my twenty-six-year-old niece Kate lost her fiancé in a car accident just two days before their wedding. In addition to her deep grief, Kate also had to face many issues because they were not yet married. First, I believe she was robbed of memories. When I lost my husband, at least I had almost forty years of memories to help sustain me. Kate and her fiancé did not even have the chance to begin as a married couple. Emotionally, I feel her loss is so much tougher than mine was. Not only did she lose the future she had […]

Reconciling Your Past, Present and Future After Loss

Posted on May 15, 2014 - by Ellen Gerst

When you’re mourning the loss of a loved one, it’s very natural and easy to get trapped in your memories of the past and how things used to be. Let’s take a moment to examine your past, as well as the present and the future, and how this exercise can help you to better understand the grief process. If you will, imagine your past, present and future like three pieces of paper all tied together with a string running through the middle of each. If you were to pick up one end of the string and dangle it in the […]

Write Your Mother A Letter

Posted on May 13, 2014 - by Christine Duminiak

Many of us are missing our mothers who reside in Heaven. Because God provides that they still see and hear us, it is never too late to talk to them or write them a letter. For Mother’s Day, please consider writing your mother a letter and then reading it out loud to her. Have a photo of your mother smiling in front of you when you do. It will bring your mother to you and you will have the comforting sensation of expressing your feelings to her. God bless you all.

How to Help Someone In Pain

Posted on May 10, 2014 - by Megan Devine

A lot of people truly, deeply want to be of help to those they love as they are grieving. They just don’t know what to do. And there are a lot of people in pain wishing they could tell you exactly what they need in their grief. They just don’t have the energy or the resources to help you help them. This means that a lot of us flounder around, looking for something to say, hoping we can find the words that make this unbearable pain, well – more bearable. Witnessing grief is hard. Watching someone in pain is horrible. Knowing […]

Did I Say that I’d Never Marry Again?

Posted on May 10, 2014 - by Cindy Adams

So it was just over a year that I became a widow. I was doing ok. I had my good days and my not so good days. But over all, life was tolerable. I was getting used to being a single mom and accepting the fact that this was my new and permanent life. “Are you dating anyone?” a family member innocently asked me. I CAN’T BELIEVE HE ASKED ME THAT! “No, and I don’t plan to,” I said. “Nobody will ever take Nelson’s place, and I’ll never marry again.” He looked at me doubtfully. I didn’t understand why people would ask me […]

Grief After Suicide is Particularly Complicated

Posted on May 7, 2014 - by Beth Marshall

One person dies by suicide every 13.7 minutes in the United States, according to the American Suicide Prevention Foundation. You never think your family will become part of such a heartbreaking statistic. From the outside, my uncle’s life seemed perfect — lots of friends, a terrific job and a family who adored him. My mom’s fun-loving, talented brother had everything to live for. How could he have taken his own life? Mental illness was not a subject anyone discussed back then. People were expected to be OK or at least pretend they were. As family members tried to make sense […]

Living with Fear, Learning to Risk

Posted on May 4, 2014 - by Jill Kraft Thompson

Twelve years ago, when our family was living in Italy due to my husband’s work, I lost the five most important people in my life. While my mother, sister, and niece were visiting from the States, my husband and I, along with our two young boys, ages four and six, took them on a week-long sightseeing tour around that beautiful country. As we were driving from Venice to Florence, just outside of Bologna a semi-truck lost control and slammed into our minivan, giving my husband Bart, who was driving, only a second to react. My sister and I were the […]

Letter to God

Posted on May 2, 2014 - by Bernie Siegel

Dear God, First I want to thank You for answering my previous letters. When as a doctor I couldn’t understand why You made a world filled with disease, war, cruelty and all kinds of difficulties, You pointed out to me that a perfect world is not creation. That there would be no need for doctors or anyone else and we would all become totally bored by life and find it meaningless. I remember You saying it would be far worse than a spending a lifetime in Hawaii. But what really made the point for me was your letting me visit […]