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Common Questions for the Newly Bereaved

Posted on January 5, 2013 - by Gloria Lintermans

When a death occurs, there often feels like there are no answers. But there are many questions. Will the pain ever go away? Will I feel better? Why haven’t I been able to cry yet? Why am I afraid to leave my house when I used to be active? Why am I running all the time, filling every waking moment with frantic activity? Why do I find it impossible to accomplish even simple tasks, or even get out of bed? Why do I find myself breaking down in embarrassing places? Why can’t I have any control over my emotions? Why […]

A Forever Decision, Part 11

Posted on January 2, 2013 - by Anne Hamilton

All right. I’m officially depressed. I didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to name the illness. But I’m admitting it. I am paralyzed. This is the third day that I have not been able to accomplish any task except eating, drinking, walking my dog, and talking to Walter on the phone. I suffer from depression and anxiety year-round anyway. But now I have things to do and I can’t do them. I feel overwhelmed. There are too many changes going on at once, and the voices in my head are coupling with the fear I have of the […]

Writing to a Friend in Hospice

Posted on December 30, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Because I was out of town for several weekends, I missed several Sunday church services. When I returned to church, I saw a friend of mine. She had lost so much weight she barely looked like herself and was wearing a cap to conceal her bare head. “Oh my gosh, she has cancer,” I thought to myself. The next Sunday my friend sought me out. She gave me a CD, a recording of the lay church service I had given several weeks ago. “This is for you,” she said with a smile. Her gesture surprised and touched me. “Thanks so […]

A Forever Decision, Part 10

Posted on December 28, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

Uncle Steve went home. He’s back in his home after six weeks – one week in the hospital and five weeks in the rehabilitation center trying to strengthen his limbs so he could walk better. In a strange way, I’ve had a strong emotional reaction against the move. I’ve cried like a baby. It took me a couple of days, but that’s what I did. If I can figure it out at all, it’s that I’m thinking, “This is the beginning of the end.” And that makes me really sad. My Aunt Doris came home after rehabilitation after having a […]

Your Light in the Darkness of Winter and Grief

Posted on December 27, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

During the darkest time of the year many string lights on Christmas trees, light menorah candles, and decorate outdoor trees with lights. But if you’re grieving, you may not pay attention to the lights or have the energy to decorate for the holidays. You may think your light has gone out. It hasn’t. Your light – the talents, training and experience you possess – is still within you. These gifts have not disappeared. Instead, they lie fallow and are waiting to grow again. How can you rekindle your light and share it? Connecting with a spiritual community is a good […]

Wedding Rings and Worldly Things

Posted on December 26, 2012 - by Melinda Richarz Lyons

After I was widowed, I became part of a group of men and women who had each also suffered the loss of a spouse. We often got together and discussed our mutual struggles, from financial issues to decisions about when it was the right time to do certain things. What to do about wedding rings and when to do something with our spouses’ worldly possessions were topics that came up very often. And the one thing I discovered was that both of these concerns should be handled in a very individual way. I think it comes down to what you […]

The End of the Innocence: Honoring the Sandy Hook Families

Posted on December 26, 2012 - by David Roberts

Living With Ambiguity The older I get, the more that I realize how quickly and drastically life can change. There are some events that defy logic, and despite our best efforts to try to make sense of them, many unanswered questions will remain. I have learned in the almost ten years since the death of my own child to live with some unanswered questions, some ambiguity. I believe that as long as I do my best to find meaning and significance in a world that has permanently changed and can help others in the process, I can live with some […]

Little Blue Box — By Savannah Daly

Posted on December 25, 2012 - by admin

“I love your shoes, Mommy!” I shout excitedly while wobbling toward her wearing her black heels. “Thanks Nannah!” My mom says happily, gently pulling more shoes out of her messy closet. Contributing writer Amy Daly’s daughter, Savannah, wrote this article. She lost her sister several years ago. “I love your shoes, Mommy!” I shout excitedly while wobbling toward her wearing her black heels. “Thanks, Nannah!” Mom says happily, gently pulling more shoes out of her messy closet. I was pulling all the different beautiful shoes onto my tiny feet. I looked over at the closet to see what other shoes […]

Smile at Yourself This Holiday Season

Posted on December 23, 2012 - by Jennifer Hawkins

This time of year is impossible to get through without thinking about Mark. Winter just seems like it is supposed to be a time to be together with loved ones. And if you have lost a loved one it may feel hard. Cold weather is made for cuddling after all. But this year, the fourth winter without Mark, feels different. He isn’t here with us in the physical plane, but the boys and I know he will always be with us spiritually and in our hearts. And during these holidays I am choosing to follow my children’s lead and bask […]

After Sandy Hook: Talking to Young Children about Grief

Posted on December 19, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

The parents of Sandy Hook school children are reeling in shock, yet they must explain death to young children. Talking with kindergarten, first and second graders is a real challenge because of their limited vocabularies. How can you explain death to a young child? I have BS in Early Childhood Education and taught preschool and kindergarten, so I have some suggestions. First, do not compare death to sleep, as some have done. This comparison leads to misunderstanding and, in some instances, denial. I would avoid the bedtime prayer, “Now I lay me down to sleep” because of its reference to […]