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Sandy Hook Tragedy; How Can We Cope?

Posted on December 14, 2012 - by Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley

America is again riveted and shaken by the senseless deaths of loved ones in the wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School, Newtown, Connecticut massacre that resulted in the murder of adults and young children in the prime of their lives. It is especially unnerving as those who were shot and those who died were doing an activity familiar to all of us, attending school. The press coverage is extensive, as people want to know every detail. What is this fascination? Is it just curiosity? I think not. I believe we are concerned with our own mortality and vulnerability. […]

Counseling Hispanics Through Loss, Grief and Bereavement.

Posted on December 12, 2012 - by Ligia Houben

I recently was interviewed on how Hispanics experience loss. Below is a transcript. SpringBoard: How would you say Hispanics may experience loss differently than non-Hispanics? LH: Losses are universal and grief is unique. We (Hispanics) bring our values and traditions to the way we demonstrate grief, bereavement, and mourning. For example, Hispanics traditionally want to keep grieving at home; they count on family support instead of going somewhere else to ask for help. There have been changes now because of assimilation and acculturation, but mainly these are values that are intrinsic in our culture, and that’s why there may be a […]

I Used to Love Christmas, Until My Mother Died

Posted on December 9, 2012 - by Connie Vasquez

I used to spend every Christmas with my mom, no matter what. It was always just the two of us and when I became an adult, she alwasy ask if I’d rather spend Christmas with my “little friends.” But my mom was “home” for me and Christmas was ours. Each Christmas, we had one particularly crazy ritual: we’d give each other several cards. There’d be cute ones, funny ones and always – – from me to her – – a big, mushy one. Over the years, I realized that this kind of card always made her cry, so I started […]

Next to Cancer, Next to Normal

Posted on December 8, 2012 - by Karen Johnson

The insidious intruder that never leaves is cancer. It is pesky, sneaky, invisible, and it works aimlessly to kill and bankrupt you. The strangle of cancer (never to be capitalized in my mind and heart) invaded him and tackled me and dumped us in the cancer club, and we daily paddle to embrace joy in a disheartening world that is vastly different than it used to be. We call it Living Next to Normal. Always wondering, waiting and semi-ready for the next curve, I have discovered a durability. I live the unthinkable, attempt to rest with the unforgettable, and acknowledge […]

Loss of Homeland

Posted on December 6, 2012 - by Ligia Houben

One of the greatest losses a Hispanic immigrant experiences is the loss of their homeland. Ignoring this loss could have negative consequences on their adjustment to a new country and their assimilation into a new culture. It’s a loss that can be debilitating, and can turn into grief. So, how can we, as mental health professionals, help such a client? One of the best things to do when working with such clients is an assessment to better understand the context in which they feel this loss. These are some of the questions you may ask: When did you arrive to the […]

First Holiday Season after Mother’s Death

Posted on December 5, 2012 - by Beth Marshall

The holidays seem to magnify emotions of grief as music, events, even aromas can remind us of the person we are missing. Our family lost two close family members during the holidays, one right before Thanksgiving and the other two years later on December 9th. I remember thinking it would be nice to just pull the covers over my head and wake up in January. Maybe this year you understand what I’m talking about. I want you to know you don’t have to completely check out for the holidays, even through an intense season of grief. The first year. My […]

A Forever Decision, Part 9

Posted on December 5, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

My Uncle Steve turned 94 yesterday. I’m very happy that he’s still with us, and very proud that he has reached such an advanced old age. We tried to bring him home from the rehabilitation center last week, but the hospice worker recommended some accommodations to the house that had to be fulfilled before he could sign off on the transfer. The major one was to remove furniture and make space for a hospital bed, which at eight feet long and four feet wide, is a big order to fill. The other was to remove any object that might cause […]

Garage Sale Grief

Posted on December 2, 2012 - by Sandy Fox

When my daughter died many years ago, I wanted to hold on to anything I had that belonged to her…forever, I told myself. But as the years go by, I have found a greater meaning in letting go. First thing to do is take inventory of what there is, pick out items that you feel strongly about always keeping and put them aside. I did this with my daughter’s stuffed animals. There were some I could never part with; others that I felt would be good to donate to a children’s hospital or even give to friend’s kids or grandkids. […]

A Forever Decision, Part 8

Posted on December 1, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

I feel very anxious today, more anxious than I have been since I found out that my uncle has terminal cancer. He has been in a rehabilitation center for a month to work on strengthening his muscles and coordination. He was supposed to come home today. I visited him for four days in the center. It was very strange to be there and brought back memories of visiting my granddad in a nursing home in the late 1970s. Uncle Steve looked well, and he was eating well. His mind is still very sharp. I appreciate that. I still have to […]

Paint Your Holiday the Way You Want it to Be (the Norman Rockwell way)

Posted on November 29, 2012 - by Nan Zastrow

Shirley’s husband of 42 years died suddenly this spring of a heart condition. Brittany’s husband served in the U.S. Army in Iraq for the past 9 months. This was supposed to be their first Christmas together, but he won’t be home. Martha is homebound and lives in an assisted living facility; her family is hundreds of miles away. Stuart’s son died; everyone asks how his wife is doing, but no one asks how he is feeling. Shelley was recently divorced and lives with her mother, again. There is a myth that holiday grief affects only those who have lost a […]