Most days I am able to function

Go through with my routine

Get up and go and live life

Just like you did

Just like we did

Find the beauty in life

The beauty of each day

And be thankful for all God has created

I still think of you every day

I still miss you

I still wish you were here

I still experience new situations and wonder what you would think about them

Would you like this movie

Would you like this city

Would you enjoy this as much as I do

Then I have days where it is difficult facing the day without you

Days where it is hard to be the survivor

Days where I do not want to be doing this alone

Days where I am angry because you are not here

Mad that you got in the car accident

Mad that that leaves me here to fix everything on my own

To do everything without you

When you are supposed to be here

Living life with me

Growing in Christ together

Building a life together

Days like today it is difficult being here without you

Days where I feel so inadequate

Where I just need a hug from you

Or one of your words of encouragement

To help build me up

And let me know that you support me

And love me

Some people expect life to be easier now that you’ve been gone 31 months

That I shouldn’t miss you

That I shouldn’t love you

That I should just forget about you

Some days it’s hard being the survivor but I wouldn’t change our time together for anything

I miss you


All Material Copyright @ Brandi Reyna

Brandi Reyna

Ms. Reyna is a creative soul with a passion for helping others. Her faith is very important to her and is reflected in her writings. She writes about her faith and the role it plays in her grieving process and how she grieves. Ms. Reyna's purpose for writing is to give voice to and shed light on unique losses. Ms.Reyna's articles focus primarily on building and living a new life after the sudden loss of her fiancé; the subsequent grief associated with sudden loss, her identification as an "unwedded widow" (a widow who was not legally married to her beloved), loss of a parent (grandparent) and creating a new life while living with loss. Ms. Reyna shares her journey to encourage others in their own faith and in their own healing journey. She hopes that by sharing her story and leading by example through her own life that her journey will show others that we can experience significant and impactful losses and still experience a full and joy-filled life after loss. Ms. Reyna holds a Master of Arts degree in Professional Studies with a specialization in Counseling.

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