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Loss of Homeland

Posted on December 6, 2012 - by Ligia Houben

One of the greatest losses a Hispanic immigrant experiences is the loss of their homeland. Ignoring this loss could have negative consequences on their adjustment to a new country and their assimilation into a new culture. It’s a loss that can be debilitating, and can turn into grief. So, how can we, as mental health professionals, help such a client? One of the best things to do when working with such clients is an assessment to better understand the context in which they feel this loss. These are some of the questions you may ask: When did you arrive to the […]

First Holiday Season after Mother’s Death

Posted on December 5, 2012 - by Beth Marshall

The holidays seem to magnify emotions of grief as music, events, even aromas can remind us of the person we are missing. Our family lost two close family members during the holidays, one right before Thanksgiving and the other two years later on December 9th. I remember thinking it would be nice to just pull the covers over my head and wake up in January. Maybe this year you understand what I’m talking about. I want you to know you don’t have to completely check out for the holidays, even through an intense season of grief. The first year. My […]

A Forever Decision, Part 9

Posted on December 5, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

My Uncle Steve turned 94 yesterday. I’m very happy that he’s still with us, and very proud that he has reached such an advanced old age. We tried to bring him home from the rehabilitation center last week, but the hospice worker recommended some accommodations to the house that had to be fulfilled before he could sign off on the transfer. The major one was to remove furniture and make space for a hospital bed, which at eight feet long and four feet wide, is a big order to fill. The other was to remove any object that might cause […]

Garage Sale Grief

Posted on December 2, 2012 - by Sandy Fox

When my daughter died many years ago, I wanted to hold on to anything I had that belonged to her…forever, I told myself. But as the years go by, I have found a greater meaning in letting go. First thing to do is take inventory of what there is, pick out items that you feel strongly about always keeping and put them aside. I did this with my daughter’s stuffed animals. There were some I could never part with; others that I felt would be good to donate to a children’s hospital or even give to friend’s kids or grandkids. […]

A Forever Decision, Part 8

Posted on December 1, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

I feel very anxious today, more anxious than I have been since I found out that my uncle has terminal cancer. He has been in a rehabilitation center for a month to work on strengthening his muscles and coordination. He was supposed to come home today. I visited him for four days in the center. It was very strange to be there and brought back memories of visiting my granddad in a nursing home in the late 1970s. Uncle Steve looked well, and he was eating well. His mind is still very sharp. I appreciate that. I still have to […]

Paint Your Holiday the Way You Want it to Be (the Norman Rockwell way)

Posted on November 29, 2012 - by Nan Zastrow

Shirley’s husband of 42 years died suddenly this spring of a heart condition. Brittany’s husband served in the U.S. Army in Iraq for the past 9 months. This was supposed to be their first Christmas together, but he won’t be home. Martha is homebound and lives in an assisted living facility; her family is hundreds of miles away. Stuart’s son died; everyone asks how his wife is doing, but no one asks how he is feeling. Shelley was recently divorced and lives with her mother, again. There is a myth that holiday grief affects only those who have lost a […]

Christmas Memories of my Daughter

Posted on November 25, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Christmas was my daughter’s favorite holiday and she planned for it all year. But she didn’t have much money and there were times when she relied on the local food bank. If money was such a problem, how could she afford to buy Christmas gifts? Little by little, year by year, I learned the answer to this question. She put her talents and intelligence to work and made gifts – fragrant apple pies, plants grown from cuttings, and needlework items. She also bought gifts from flea markets and thrift stores. On Christmas morning, when she walked in the back door […]

Father Learns How to Deal with Holidays After Daughter’s Death

Posted on November 24, 2012 - by David Roberts

In early grief, it is difficult to find any meaning in pain. After my daughter Jeannine’s death in 2003, the pain I experienced in early grief was raw and something that I feared. If I had a choice, I would have avoided it at all costs. However, as I have learned, we need to work through pain in order to be able to find greater meaning in our lives. During the holidays, our grief and pain tends to become more intensified. The stress of holiday shopping and get togethers is stressful enough. The stress of grief makes these holiday events […]

Grieve Deeply by Breathing Deeply

Posted on November 23, 2012 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

How come when tragedy strikes, we hear the words, “Time heals”? After suffering and recovering from much hardship, time has been both an ally and enemy. It slowed enough so I could be with my father when he took his last breath, and for this I’m grateful. But four years after his death, the void in my heart hasn’t healed; it’s still as big as the day he died. Each day is another day without him physically. And, time, reflective of each passing calendar day, continuously reminds me of this. Yes, I’ve been comforted with the belief that when he died, his […]

Time Stops After a Loved One Dies

Posted on November 22, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

When someone we love dies time stops. It does not take long for us to realize that it is for us only that time has stopped. We stand caught in a time warp while the rest of the world moves on. Gradually, we become aware of this fact and sometimes have shocking reminders of it, lightning bolts to our version of reality. Some days we may want to scream at the world and the people in it: “How dare you go on? Can’t you see I am holding on by a thread? How dare you complain about such ridiculous meaningless […]