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A Forever Decision, Part 8

Posted on December 1, 2012 - by Anne Hamilton

I feel very anxious today, more anxious than I have been since I found out that my uncle has terminal cancer. He has been in a rehabilitation center for a month to work on strengthening his muscles and coordination. He was supposed to come home today. I visited him for four days in the center. It was very strange to be there and brought back memories of visiting my granddad in a nursing home in the late 1970s. Uncle Steve looked well, and he was eating well. His mind is still very sharp. I appreciate that. I still have to […]

Paint Your Holiday the Way You Want it to Be (the Norman Rockwell way)

Posted on November 29, 2012 - by Nan Zastrow

Shirley’s husband of 42 years died suddenly this spring of a heart condition. Brittany’s husband served in the U.S. Army in Iraq for the past 9 months. This was supposed to be their first Christmas together, but he won’t be home. Martha is homebound and lives in an assisted living facility; her family is hundreds of miles away. Stuart’s son died; everyone asks how his wife is doing, but no one asks how he is feeling. Shelley was recently divorced and lives with her mother, again. There is a myth that holiday grief affects only those who have lost a […]

Christmas Memories of my Daughter

Posted on November 25, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Christmas was my daughter’s favorite holiday and she planned for it all year. But she didn’t have much money and there were times when she relied on the local food bank. If money was such a problem, how could she afford to buy Christmas gifts? Little by little, year by year, I learned the answer to this question. She put her talents and intelligence to work and made gifts – fragrant apple pies, plants grown from cuttings, and needlework items. She also bought gifts from flea markets and thrift stores. On Christmas morning, when she walked in the back door […]

Father Learns How to Deal with Holidays After Daughter’s Death

Posted on November 24, 2012 - by David Roberts

In early grief, it is difficult to find any meaning in pain. After my daughter Jeannine’s death in 2003, the pain I experienced in early grief was raw and something that I feared. If I had a choice, I would have avoided it at all costs. However, as I have learned, we need to work through pain in order to be able to find greater meaning in our lives. During the holidays, our grief and pain tends to become more intensified. The stress of holiday shopping and get togethers is stressful enough. The stress of grief makes these holiday events […]

Grieve Deeply by Breathing Deeply

Posted on November 23, 2012 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

How come when tragedy strikes, we hear the words, “Time heals”? After suffering and recovering from much hardship, time has been both an ally and enemy. It slowed enough so I could be with my father when he took his last breath, and for this I’m grateful. But four years after his death, the void in my heart hasn’t healed; it’s still as big as the day he died. Each day is another day without him physically. And, time, reflective of each passing calendar day, continuously reminds me of this. Yes, I’ve been comforted with the belief that when he died, his […]

Time Stops After a Loved One Dies

Posted on November 22, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

When someone we love dies time stops. It does not take long for us to realize that it is for us only that time has stopped. We stand caught in a time warp while the rest of the world moves on. Gradually, we become aware of this fact and sometimes have shocking reminders of it, lightning bolts to our version of reality. Some days we may want to scream at the world and the people in it: “How dare you go on? Can’t you see I am holding on by a thread? How dare you complain about such ridiculous meaningless […]

First Thanksgiving After a Death is Challenging

Posted on November 20, 2012 - by Anne Berenberg

One night in the April that they were 4 and 9, my two sons were tucked into their beds by their loving young father, Richard. That was to be the last time they saw him. The next morning, they woke up to learn that he was dead from a heart attack. Our world had shattered overnight. The boys cried in pain and bewilderment—and so did I. Over the next months, I struggled to find what pieces of our lives could stay the same, what could be there in altered form, what could now only be held in memory, and what […]

This Puzzle Called Life by Laurel D. Rund

Posted on November 18, 2012 - by Laurel D. Rund

I was working my way through my own personal puzzle in 2010. It was a transformative time, as I moved through grief into an appreciation for my newly reshaped life and spirit. I sat down and wrote a poem “This Puzzle Called Life.” It is included in my book “Emerging Voices.“ For me, it was about letting go of fear and finding my creative voice. The poem still inspires me today. “LDR” equals Laurel Diane Rund saying “YES” to life! That’s my Essence talking about the here and now. This Puzzle Called Life Pieced together throughout the years, the […]

Tips for Those Who are Grieving

Posted on November 17, 2012 - by Katherine Ingram

November is the month of gratitude, and so I wish to express my love and gratitude for my companion and teacher, Bentley, who died in my arms October 2nd. Bentley was a Lhasa Apso who came to me at a profoundly difficult time in my life and journeyed with me through an amazing thirteen years. I’m no stranger to grief: I lost father, brother, husband, stepfather, uncle, grandparents, friends and pets all by the age of 32. But Bentley’s passing reminded me yet again of just how difficult grief is. What makes it worse is that there is no social […]

Facing the Holidays When You’ve Lost a Loved One

Posted on November 16, 2012 - by Judith Johnson

If you have recently lost a loved one with whom you would otherwise be sharing this holiday season, you might be finding yourself wanting to burrow under your covers with a box of tissues until the holidays have passed. If this sounds like you, it’s time for some T.L.C. I don’t believe we should ever push down our emotions, though social conventions might make it advisable to develop strategies for dealing with these challenges privately or having a dear and trusted friend bear witness to what we are feeling. Remember that even at their best, holidays can be stressful. So, […]