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Aurora Tragedy Reminds Us What to Say to Bereaved — and What Not to Say

Posted on July 23, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

The massacre in Aurora, Colorado, brings up the idea of the fragility of life. Finding the “right” words to say to a grieving person can be a struggle. You want to offer comfort, but aren’t quite sure how to go about it. After losing my daughter, father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law in 2007, I received words of comfort and hurtful words as well. One sentence to avoid is, “I don’t know what to say.” This doesn’t comfort the bereaved person and may even upset you. Unfortunately, many of us resort to platitudes and unsolicited advice when speaking with those who […]

Italian Foundation Brings Nature Art into Hospital Rooms

Posted on July 22, 2012 - by Katherine Relf-Canas

If you’ve ever been to Florence, Italy, you may have seen l’Ospedale degli Innocenti, a striking Renaissance building. Over the years, the hospital has housed the work of many Florentine Renaissance masters and was one of the earliest instances of artistic decoration in a hospital setting. Today, continuing the intertwining of healthcare and art, is The Foundation for Photo/Art in Hospitals. Founded in Florence by Elaine Poggi, the organization provides photographic images of nature to hospitals around the world. The artwork provides positive distractions for patients and visitors and transforms the stark interiors of rooms and public areas for […]

New Book Says Greatest Work Can Come From Darkest Moments

Posted on July 22, 2012 - by Lauren Muscarella

“There will always be something quite miraculous about the imagination,” writes Jonah Lehrer in his latest book Imagine: How Creativity Works. This is my second recommendation in a four-part series exploring unconventional books to read when coping with grief. With Lehrer, we are moved to inspiration. Like in Unwasted: My Lush Sobriety by Sacha Z. Scoblic, my last recommendation, Lehrer shows us that creating imaginative, artistic work cannot only help others who are inspired by its magnitude but also our own imaginative dreams. Art can lift us out of the darkness by its revelatory nature and help us find a […]

How Do You Relate to Death?

Posted on July 16, 2012 - by Judith Johnson

We don’t do death well in this country, which results in a lot of unnecessary suffering. Most of us do not talk about death and are terribly uncomfortable being in death’s presence. Yet, death is normal. By treating death like an invisible elephant sitting in the room, we deprive ourselves of making peace with our mortality, of deeply communicating with and comforting each other in the face of death and of taking the opportunity to make meaningful plans for the end of our life’s journey. Talking about and dealing with death is our last great social taboo. We all know […]

Bradbury’s Enduring Voice

Posted on July 14, 2012 - by Laura B. Hayden

It was odd hearing that Ray Bradbury died this month. I was just thinking about him last month. Actually, I mentioned him in a tribute I gave at a close friend’s retirement dinner. As I planned the speech, I had to look up whether or not he was still living – and he was – at the time. I was mentioning Bradbury because my retiring friend still taught his book, Fahrenheit 451, to her sophomore English classes. No one else in the department has taught Bradbury for a very long time. So I thought of him, among others, when I […]

Crying is Okay, for Men Too

Posted on July 14, 2012 - by Rich Guy Miller

Many people today are talking about the loss of our freedoms and working opportunities. Loss of financial options. Loss of trust in the government, the banking system, the schools. And while loss is loss no matter how we cut it, those of us who lose loved ones suffer the most. And as the first anniversary of my father’s passing loomed, I found myself getting more angry, depressed and tearful. At first, I didn’t know what to do. I thought I was past it. I have tried so hard to be positive, to look at the loss directly by blogging and writing […]

Anger, the Undeniable Feeling

Posted on July 14, 2012 - by Diane Strong

One of the most difficult things for me to deal with when my mother died was the anger. I was angry at the doctors for their failure and I was angry at her for not trying harder to live. As children, we look at our parent and see pillars. They are not supposed to be weak. They are supposed to have all the answers to all the questions. They don’t feel pain like a child does. They are supposed to comfort us, not the other way around. This is the greedy little kid in us all. When my mother first […]

Alcohol is a Trap for Grievers

Posted on July 13, 2012 - by Lauren Muscarella

Books about grief are not my favorite. I don’t find comfort in reading the details of someone else’s depression or hard time when I’m in the same, dark place. More conventional grief books tend to either lecture that their way is the one and only way to cope or guide us through a dreary depression without the triumphantly hopeful ending we all envision for ourselves. The only exception seems to be if that hard time is loosely related and recounted with the intent to entertain and inform. With that in mind, every week this month I will present an unconventional […]

Finding Space After Spouse Loss

Posted on July 13, 2012 - by Jennifer Hawkins

When my husband passed away unexpectedly in his sleep one night in February of 2009, my life was turned up-side-down in an instant. Chaos ensued for the next few weeks like never before. When I came out of the fog and looked around, it felt like I was so alone. I was a widow at 39 years old. I didn’t know anyone who was a widow at my age. It was mind-numbing looking toward the future without my husband. Over the next few months, and now years, I rebuilt a life with my two young children that fit us. We […]

The Bootsy Chronicles: More End-of Life Lessons From My Feline Companion

Posted on July 13, 2012 - by David Roberts

A Brief Recap On February 23, 2012, my article titled Daughter’s Cats Help Dad Keep Connection was published on this site. In it, I focused on the recent health challenges that my daughter Jeannine’s cat, Bootsy, had been experiencing. Specifically, he had lost weight and was looking pretty lethargic. Bootsy, who is 14, was a Christmas Eve gift to Jeannine from her best friend. After Jeannine died at the age of 18 in 2003, Bootsy became attached to me. I became attached to him as well as Jeannine’s other cat, Angel, who is about a year younger than Bootsy. I […]