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Discovering Something Greater than the Answer to “Why?”

Posted on May 21, 2012 - by Nan Zastrow

“Why me?” “Why now?” They are questions that many bereaved ask when they come to our support groups. I’m sure many wish that Gary and I could gaze into a crystal ball, and assure them there is a reason to go on living. It is human nature to ask, “Why?” Yet, there is seldom a satisfactory answer. Instead of answers, we often give the bereaved options for finding new meaning. They have embarked on an adventure and a journey far beyond their imagination; and it’s an arduous task that will challenge a lifetime of beliefs and assumptions. It’s a journey […]

Recovering from Grief: Creating Memorials Helps to Keep Your Child’s Spirit Alive

Posted on May 13, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

After our elder daughter died in 2007, my husband and I searched for ways to keep her spirit alive. Our daughter, a composite engineer with an MBA degree, was 45 years old when she died. Like every parent who has lost a child, we felt she died too soon. Other family members had also died — my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law. We sobbed for them all. As days became weeks, and weeks became months, our tears slowed. “It was time and past time to heal the stones of sorrow within our hearts,” Bettyclare Moffatt writes in Soulwork. The time […]

Mother’s Day Without Mother

Posted on May 10, 2012 - by Gloria Horsley

For most people, Mother’s Day brings to mind bouquets of sunny flowers in pink hues, often-obligatory brunches, and lingering in the aisles trying to find the perfect greeting card to sum up gratitude for a lifetime of love and care. Mother’s Day is traditionally a celebration honoring mothers, motherhood, maternal bonds and the influence of mothers in society. However for those of us who have suffered the loss of a mother, or a child, Mother’s Day can be a muddle of complex emotions. On the one hand we want to be mindful that it is a celebration, but it is […]

A Bittersweet Mother’s Day After Son’s Suicide

Posted on May 10, 2012 - by Jean Williams

“I’m having a Mother’s Day Tea,” my friend Becky said on the other end of the phone line, “and am inviting some of our writer friends and a few of the ladies from church.” My heart dipped. Six weeks into grieving my son’s suicide, I didn’t know how I could possibly get through an afternoon without crying. Each afternoon played out the same, and escalated into evenings of tears, tears, and more tears. I did not intend to upset my friends and ruin a tea party, so I said, “That’s so kind of you, Becky, but I’m afraid I can’t […]

Thoughtful Memorials Keep Your Child’s Spirit Alive

Posted on May 9, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

After our elder daughter died in 2007, my husband and I searched for ways to keep her spirit alive. Three other family members also died, my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law. We sobbed for them all. Days became weeks, weeks became months, and our tears slowed. Finally, the time came to think about memorials. As Bettyclare Moffatt writes in “Soulwork,” “It was time and past time to heal the stones of sorrow within our hearts.” How could we honor our daughter? We brainstormed on our options, and narrowed the memorials down to three things, parental goals, our daughter’s interests, her […]

My Grief Journey Exposed in a Dream

Posted on May 8, 2012 - by David Roberts

I have had several dreams since my daughter Jeannine died in March of 2003. Through further exploration with a dear friend of mine whose passion is projective dream work, I have discovered that the lessons revealed have always been relevant to my journey. Walking and Lost With that, I want to share with you all a dream that I had several evenings ago. I was walking down an unnamed street which was near my place of work. It appeared to be first light; but I believe that I was walking at either 2:00 or 2:30am. That was the time frame […]

Burnout, Grief and Living on Purpose

Posted on May 7, 2012 - by Jane Simington

BURNOUT can be described as an erosion of the soul, a feeling that regardless of what a person does, they cannot make a difference in their workplace. Burnout is often accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, a loss of motivation, and a sense of mismatch between what is being required and what the person is capable of. This is why burnout is becoming recognized more as a situation of being off-purpose than of feeling overworked. LIVING LIFE ON PURPOSE is increasingly becoming an important factor in peoples’ lives. This is especially true for those who have moved through a difficult life […]

After Husband’s Suicide, Joy of Living Eventually Returns

Posted on May 5, 2012 - by Janet Gallin

When I got the call that my husband had died, the only sound I could hear was a piercing wail making its way with disturbing efficiency throughout the house. That shriek was an immovable savage that sucked the air out of me and left me trying to focus on where I was. I was confused for what seemed like an eternity and then, although it was a voice I had never heard before, I realized the shriek was mine. I stopped screaming only because I ran out of breath. My daughters then 14 and 10, having mistaken my shrieks for […]

A Grateful Heart Dances: Viewing a Daughter’s Loss

Posted on May 4, 2012 - by Alice Wisler

When my four-year-old son Daniel died, I grieved my own loss, and for my other children. My daughter Rachel was only six at the time. With her brother’s death, she lost her best friend. As I was thrown into the pit of grief, I looked at this small girl and my spirit was crushed. Her life is over. She’ll never have a chance to success or happiness, I thought. The years went by, Rachel grew older, and the harsh raw emotions of losing Daniel subsided. Rachel was in high school and looking forward to college. The day she wanted a […]

A Willingness to Take Chances May Come from Loss and Grief

Posted on May 3, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Losing a child is the worst thing that can happen to a parent, according to Gloria Horsley, PhD and founder of Open to Hope. She made this observation on a radio talk show. Since the worst thing has already happened to you, Horsley continued, you take chances and do things like founding a foundation. I understand her point. After my daughter died in 2007, I started to take more chances. In the past, I tended to be a conservative person, but that has changed. I’ve said things I never thought I would say and done things I never thought I […]