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To Remember is Human

Posted on March 14, 2012 - by David Roberts

As I am now entering the tenth year of my journey as a parent who has experienced the death of a child, I realize that my perspective on many things related to life and death have changed. Today (3/3/12), I had this revelation about the expectations that we place on remembering. In this context, I am referring to those individuals who don’t acknowledge our children on those special days such as birthdays and angelversary dates. I started pondering this when a friend of mine (and one whom loved Jeannine dearly when she was alive) apologized to me because she forgot […]

After Son’s Death, Rising Above

Posted on March 13, 2012 - by Vicky Bates

Does the weight of death keep us from connecting with the vibration of our child’s soul? Immediately following the death of a loved one, our physical bodies take over. We are inert, laying in a fetal position on our beds. We are in shock, emitting wounded cries. It feels as if the “weight of the world” is on us and we don’t care to challenge that feeling. We have lost ourselves and given over to the dark, heavy blanket of hopelessness. As days and months pass, we ruminate about the events that led us to our abrupt transformation. That change […]

Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend

Posted on March 12, 2012 - by Nan Zastrow

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” Charles Caleb Colton My life changed gradually after the death of my son, Chad, on April 16, 1993—and so did many of my friends. A while ago, I met a co-worker whose empathy in my early stage of grief was unconditional. I was reminded of his warmth and support; and it still glowed. Then it hit me! What […]

My Baby Died, and Taught Me Faith

Posted on March 11, 2012 - by Megan Aronson

That little voice within me is always right but, it’s taken me a long time to learn that. I tend to drown her out with the noise of my mind. She knew, when I first found out I was pregnant, on my daughter’s birthday, May of 2009, that it was the beginning of an end. She tried to tell me something was wrong. Every time I uttered those two simple words, “I’m pregnant,” she’d given me that kick in the shin within – it said, “Not yet, wait.” But I didn’t listen. My Aunt Debbie, 51, had just passed away […]

Whitney Houston Reminds Me of My Friend

Posted on March 10, 2012 - by Gloria Horsley

Although it has been many years since my friends and I graduated from high school, we meet once a year at my cottage on the Pacific Ocean. This year was a bit of a downer as one of my oldest friends was looking very fragile, and by the end of the first day and her third round of drinks, it became clear that she had a serious substance abuse problem. Her shaky behavior and stream of disconnected chatter took me back to my childhood memories. My father had ten brothers and sisters, and five of them were alcoholics. Two of […]

Newborn Niece Completes Circle of Life

Posted on March 9, 2012 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

My sister died two years ago. Her first grandchild was born just over a week ago, a baby girl name Victoria. My niece, Victoria’s mother, is a strong, beautiful woman. Her husband called me that morning to tell me they were at the hospital. He promised to keep me updated throughout the day. At noon, he called to tell me she was dilated to 7 and he was having lunch to get ready for the big push! He told me his wife, my niece, my sister’s daughter, was doing remarkable. He said not a whimper from her; she was staying […]

7-Year-Old Creates Own Grief Ritual

Posted on March 8, 2012 - by Kerie Boshka

My son was 7 years old when his biological father passed away from suicide. About a month after his dad’s death, I found Kaden very distressed, crying alone in his bedroom. I instantly bent down to his level, trying to get him to talk about what had him so upset. I was determined to fix whatever it was that had him so heartbroken. “Mom, first we had your birthday party (Dec 11), then Daddy disappeared (Dec 13), then Daddy died (Dec 16), then we had his funeral (Dec 20), then we had Christmas (Dec 25), then my birthday (Dec 28), […]

Deceased Offers a Gift for Grandpa

Posted on March 7, 2012 - by Kimberly Wencl

I was excited as I awoke early that Sunday morning. Today all of my plans and preparations would come full circle. In a short while we would begin to celebrate my Dad’s 80th birthday. Dad doesn’t like a lot of fuss, but he good-naturedly went along with all of our plans. I had managed to get his birthday celebration on our local 10 pm news. I had slept right through it, but many people let Dad know that they had seen it. A picture of Dad was in today’s paper announcing his milestone birthday. And there were flowers on the […]

‘I Don’t Wear Hats’

Posted on March 6, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

“I don’t wear hats.” “I don’t dance.” “I don’t talk to strangers.” The first statement about was said by a woman at a conference for counselors, a woman who refused to choose and wear a hat for an exercise being done. The second statement is one many of us have heard and some of us have possibly said. The last statement I find incredibly sad. I am not sure who said it but there is a saying that goes, “Strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet.” There is another saying that goes, “I need all the friends I can […]

10 Ways To Save Your Marriage After a Child’s Death

Posted on March 5, 2012 - by Sandy Fox

When a child dies, most parents assume their marriage will be in jeopardy because they have read that 90% of marriages fail after the death of a child. A recent survey has proven this supposed fact to be a myth. From the survey, it was found that only 16 % divorce and only 4 % said it was because of the death and the fact that there were problems in the marriage before the child died. The untimely death of a child can be an opportunity for growth to bring the two people closer together, rather than tear them apart. […]