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Allowing Others to Support You After a Death

Posted on March 20, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Rebuilding a life isn’t easy especially when we may not want to, feel like it, or know where to start. When just getting out of bed makes us so tired we want to go crawl right back in. When we can hardly remember the way to the grocery store or our best friends phone number, when we don’t feel like cooking or eating or want to eat everything in our sight. When the phone never rings when we need it to and rings all the time when we don’t. When we feel like we have been forgotten and our friends […]

Adjusting to Widowhood

Posted on March 19, 2012 - by Joan Haskins

What I was about to do seemed as terrifying as if I were going to walk across a tight rope, suspended 100 feet into the air, with no safety net below, while wearing stilettos. It was only a month since my husband of 64 years had passed away. I was still reeling with grief and uncertainty when the opportunity came for me to buy our daughter, Gena’s, home. Even before my husband’s illness, I thought it wise to buy a home on the street where our two daughters lived so we could access their help, if needed. A suitable home […]

How to Maintain Relationships with Your In-Laws After Losing Your Spouse

Posted on March 18, 2012 - by Jennifer Hawkins

My husband Mark passed away in his sleep unexpectedly from a heart condition we did not know he had. He was forty-nine years young. I was thirty-nine. Our two boys were three and five. It was without question the hardest day of our lives. And, it was the hardest day in other people’s lives as well. I’d known my husband for almost ten years when he died. His family had known him all of his forty-nine years. Many weeks later, I came out of the shock of losing my mate. I looked around at what had been ‘our’ life that was […]

‘Brotherhood’ of Fathers Who Have Lost Children

Posted on March 17, 2012 - by Kelly Farley

I had a unique experience last week while I was at work that took me a little off guard. To give you some background leading up to this experience, it started the Friday before New Year’s weekend and I was on the phone with someone (Mark) I had never spoken to before and we were talking about the possibility of his firm doing some sub-consultant work for a project I was managing. I am the type of person who is genuinely interested in other people. I think everyone has a story to tell which I find intriguing. Therefore, as with […]

Even Now, We Miss Him

Posted on March 16, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Even now I wonder where the little boy went. The one who could always melt my heart with a look, a touch, a smile. The one who always gave more than he ever took or asked for. The young man who was going to one day play for the Green Bay Packers. The teenager that the phone always rang for. The fourteen year old who still hugged his mom in front of his friends. The young man who knelt beside me in church. The young man who still let me read to him before bed. The young man who was […]

While in Grief, Be Ready to Deal With Others’ Questions

Posted on March 15, 2012 - by Debra Reagan

After the death of my child, I was left feeling powerless. It felt as though I had lost everything. Not only did I lose my child, but I felt as though I had lost my hopes, dreams and my previous way of living. I no longer had the confidence I once had. In the beginning, there were so many times I felt the breath had been knocked out of me and I could hardly speak. How could I adequately describe to anyone how I felt? Most days I barely knew my own name. But once the deep pain has eased […]

To Remember is Human

Posted on March 14, 2012 - by David Roberts

As I am now entering the tenth year of my journey as a parent who has experienced the death of a child, I realize that my perspective on many things related to life and death have changed. Today (3/3/12), I had this revelation about the expectations that we place on remembering. In this context, I am referring to those individuals who don’t acknowledge our children on those special days such as birthdays and angelversary dates. I started pondering this when a friend of mine (and one whom loved Jeannine dearly when she was alive) apologized to me because she forgot […]

After Son’s Death, Rising Above

Posted on March 13, 2012 - by Vicky Bates

Does the weight of death keep us from connecting with the vibration of our child’s soul? Immediately following the death of a loved one, our physical bodies take over. We are inert, laying in a fetal position on our beds. We are in shock, emitting wounded cries. It feels as if the “weight of the world” is on us and we don’t care to challenge that feeling. We have lost ourselves and given over to the dark, heavy blanket of hopelessness. As days and months pass, we ruminate about the events that led us to our abrupt transformation. That change […]

Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend

Posted on March 12, 2012 - by Nan Zastrow

“A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Walk beside me and be my friend.” Charles Caleb Colton My life changed gradually after the death of my son, Chad, on April 16, 1993—and so did many of my friends. A while ago, I met a co-worker whose empathy in my early stage of grief was unconditional. I was reminded of his warmth and support; and it still glowed. Then it hit me! What […]

My Baby Died, and Taught Me Faith

Posted on March 11, 2012 - by Megan Aronson

That little voice within me is always right but, it’s taken me a long time to learn that. I tend to drown her out with the noise of my mind. She knew, when I first found out I was pregnant, on my daughter’s birthday, May of 2009, that it was the beginning of an end. She tried to tell me something was wrong. Every time I uttered those two simple words, “I’m pregnant,” she’d given me that kick in the shin within – it said, “Not yet, wait.” But I didn’t listen. My Aunt Debbie, 51, had just passed away […]