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7-Year-Old Creates Own Grief Ritual

Posted on March 8, 2012 - by Kerie Boshka

My son was 7 years old when his biological father passed away from suicide. About a month after his dad’s death, I found Kaden very distressed, crying alone in his bedroom. I instantly bent down to his level, trying to get him to talk about what had him so upset. I was determined to fix whatever it was that had him so heartbroken. “Mom, first we had your birthday party (Dec 11), then Daddy disappeared (Dec 13), then Daddy died (Dec 16), then we had his funeral (Dec 20), then we had Christmas (Dec 25), then my birthday (Dec 28), […]

Deceased Offers a Gift for Grandpa

Posted on March 7, 2012 - by Kimberly Wencl

I was excited as I awoke early that Sunday morning. Today all of my plans and preparations would come full circle. In a short while we would begin to celebrate my Dad’s 80th birthday. Dad doesn’t like a lot of fuss, but he good-naturedly went along with all of our plans. I had managed to get his birthday celebration on our local 10 pm news. I had slept right through it, but many people let Dad know that they had seen it. A picture of Dad was in today’s paper announcing his milestone birthday. And there were flowers on the […]

‘I Don’t Wear Hats’

Posted on March 6, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

“I don’t wear hats.” “I don’t dance.” “I don’t talk to strangers.” The first statement about was said by a woman at a conference for counselors, a woman who refused to choose and wear a hat for an exercise being done. The second statement is one many of us have heard and some of us have possibly said. The last statement I find incredibly sad. I am not sure who said it but there is a saying that goes, “Strangers are just friends we haven’t met yet.” There is another saying that goes, “I need all the friends I can […]

10 Ways To Save Your Marriage After a Child’s Death

Posted on March 5, 2012 - by Sandy Fox

When a child dies, most parents assume their marriage will be in jeopardy because they have read that 90% of marriages fail after the death of a child. A recent survey has proven this supposed fact to be a myth. From the survey, it was found that only 16 % divorce and only 4 % said it was because of the death and the fact that there were problems in the marriage before the child died. The untimely death of a child can be an opportunity for growth to bring the two people closer together, rather than tear them apart. […]

Helping Others Helps You

Posted on March 4, 2012 - by Rachel Kodanaz

Why is it that when we become widowed, we think we are the first person who has ever been widowed? We have a tendency to cocoon and not look around us to realize there are many others who have walked this horrendous walk before us. Our pain is so overwhelming we cannot imagine anyone could have survived. The truth is there are thousands and thousands of us who have been widowed prematurely due to illness or a tragic event, leaving behind small children or unfulfilled retirement dreams. We are often told the grief journey is an individual journey and you […]

‘This Too Shall Pass’

Posted on March 2, 2012 - by Catherine Tidd

Just like everyone else in the world, I have good weeks and I have bad ones. This one…not so great: Sick kid, two trips to the ER, fear of going to my mailbox to find the medical bills that I know will be lurking in there at some point soon. To say the least, I have had a somewhat problem-filled week. There is only one thing that is getting me through it. And that is thinking over and over again, “This too shall pass.” I don’t know who said it first. I just looked it up on Wikipedia and it […]

The Wisdom in Journaling

Posted on March 1, 2012 - by David Roberts

I have always been a firm believer in the benefits of journaling. I journaled almost daily when my daughter Jeannine was first diagnosed in May of 2002 with a rare and incurable form of cancer. This continued for almost two years after her death on 3/1/03, at the age of 18. My early journals were raw, filled with pain, anger and disbelief over the hand of cards that was dealt to me and Jeannine’s mother and two brothers. I review those early journals periodically, and sometimes compare where I was then to where I am now. I have discovered today […]

Playing With Ashes

Posted on February 29, 2012 - by Adele R. McDowell

It’s been a tender week. This week marks the first anniversary of the death of my dear friend, E, who left the earth plane suddenly and unexpectedly, just two weeks after her 61st birthday. I made it to the North Carolina hospital on Easter Sunday and had the profound honor of witnessing her transition on Monday. E was semi-conscious; she had been intubated and medicated. I felt she was already circling the other realms. When I reached the side of her bed and placed my hand on her arm, she opened her eyes and looked directly at me, acknowledging my […]

Vehicles of Healing

Posted on February 28, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Vehicles help us move. They help get us from one place to another. Sometimes the vehicle of choice is our car. Other times it may be a rental car, a bus, a cab, a boat, a bicycle, a hot air balloon, a plane, or even a skateboard. There are many different vehicles to help move us through our grief. The possibilities are endless. Most if not all of us will need to utilize more than one vehicle on our grief journey. The vehicle is just a tool and we have to use the tools that will work for us. Some […]

30 Ways to be Your Own Best Friend

Posted on February 26, 2012 - by Maureen Hunter

For many years, I was anything but my own best friend. I neglected, badgered, criticized and overindulged myself. It was much easier to be nicer and kinder to my friends than it was to myself. Maturity and the experience of devastating loss, has taught me much. I now know that in grief or in fact, anytime in life, I am the only one who can look after me. Me, myself and I. Many times, I didn’t think I had time for me. I thought my needs weren’t as important as others in my life. I was too busy giving out […]