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Accepting What We Cannot Control

Posted on February 1, 2012 - by Vicky Bates

“Control yourselves!” How many times did my little brother and I hear that from our parents growing up? As we got older, no one expressed those sentiments to us because we had somewhat “learned” as children to control ourselves through parents, schools, jobs and relationships. I think there has to be some sort of balance between powers over one’s self or others. Not that we want utter chaos, but we have become a world of absolutes. It’s funny we start out these pure heavenly spirit babies and end being taught to relate to everything from a sense of control over […]

Listen To The Children

Posted on January 31, 2012 - by Christine Duminiak

Children have a special ability to see and hear form our deceased loved ones. Those of you whose children have experienced this beautiful phenomena, if you believe them, you will find enormous comfort in knowing that your loved ones in Heaven continue to watch over you, and especially your children. The connection and love continues on forever. Because our children were as the angels in Heaven, not so long ago, they retain their angelic innocence and purity when they arrive here. It is because of these heavenly attributes that God has blessed them with seeing what adults wish they […]

How Can I Receive a Sign or Message?

Posted on January 30, 2012 - by Chris Mulligan

When grief and pain are your daily companions, you have questions. We all ask many questions after a loved one dies. We want validation of and answers to these questions. This uncertainty is a part of our grief process but can there be comfort or relief in this process. We remember the close bond with our child or loved one before their death. We wonder, why were they taken from us so soon or was their death painful or did they hurt or why couldnt we protect them? These common thoughts are often accompanied by questions concerning communication with their […]

New Year Offers Opportunities for Healing

Posted on January 29, 2012 - by Carla Blowey

Since our son’s death 21 years ago, I’ve observed or ignored New Year’s Day in a variety of ways depending on how hopeful I am feeling at the time. It’s probably not so different from anyone else facing the challenge of a loss, but for me, bringing in the new year on the 31st always feels premature. Kevin’s death and transition occurred seven days into the year, barely long enough to remember to write the correct date on a check. I know it seems odd that a date commemorating the end of my son’s life should mark a new year, […]

A Winter’s Day in Grief

Posted on January 29, 2012 - by Deb Kosmer

Today the ground is covered with last week’s snow and the air is a frigid 29 degrees below zero. There is no pretending winter is not here. Admittedly some people thrive in the winter. It is just their time of year. But for many the long winter months take a toll and contribute to feelings of sadness, depression, and irritability. If you happen to be grieving or re-living the death of a loved one that occurred at this time of year some years ago, these feelings can even be multiplied. Many years ago my son, sister, and father died, my […]

Seeing Signs of Deceased Son

Posted on January 28, 2012 - by Ron Villano

As a public speaker and radio/TV show host, many people have asked me if I have ever “seen signs” of my son’s presence. It may seem like a simple question, but when you really start to think about it, the answer is very complicated — in a simple way. Yes. I “see signs.” Early in my grief journey, I learned that the numbers 17 and 722 were very significant when speaking of Michael. 17 being the age that he died, and 7/22 being the date. I would be thinking about him, and one of these numbers would appear. I would […]

Serious Personal Illnesses After the Death of a Child

Posted on January 27, 2012 - by Kay Bevington

At the time of the death of our child, we think and feel that our world will certainly end and we often want to die and be ‘with our children’. It does not matter if we have a wonderful relationship with a spouse, surviving children, family members, friends or a career; we just want to be with our deceased child. For the first several months and sometimes even years, bereaved parents may have a self death wish and would welcome the diagnosis of a serious or terminal illness. Fortunately, after doing years of grief work, we are able to reinvest […]

Italian Tragedy Touches All of Us

Posted on January 26, 2012 - by Richard Beck

The recent tragedy in Italy when the cruise ship sank and many people died touches all of us in so many ways. My girlfriend and I spent New Year’s on a cruise, and it was a time of joy and a experience of happiness. So too were the hopes and desires of all the families who decided to vacation on their cruise, only to have it turn out to be their worst nightmare. Death is always part of life; often it is expected, such as after the culmination of a long term illness. This was not the case for the […]

On STUGs: Subsequent, Temporary, Upsurges of Grief

Posted on January 26, 2012 - by Maureen Hunter

Have you ever come across a new word that strikes you as so good you wonder why you hadn’t heard of it before? Ive found a new grief word. STUG! Coined by Therese Rando, it just makes total sense and sounds a bit more upbeat than Grief Triggers. I’ve been STUGGED! (Subsequent, Temporary, Upsurge of Grief) STUGS certainly aren’t much fun when they happen. There are the STUGS that we come to expect: anniversary days, birthdays and family celebrations. Then there are the ones that come like a bolt out of the blue. Those intense upsurges of grief that take you […]

He is Missed

Posted on January 24, 2012 - by Catherine Tidd

I was at the mall alone, returning a few things from the holidays, looking at clothes that the “experts” say are in style (did anyone really perfect the poncho look?), and generally just enjoying shopping without having to worry about whether or not my kids would knock over an entire display of purses…when something happened that hadn’t happened to me in a while. As I was leaving a store, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around a woman said to me, “I know you.” And I said, “I know you, too.” But I couldn’t quite […]