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Finding Joy After Heartbreak

Posted on January 21, 2012 - by Mary Swick

As we go through our day-to-day lives, we complain about work, kids, finances, etc. But what we keep forgetting to do is find joy every day. Not every day is a good day. Sometimes it seems like there is too much going on in life that you won’t be able to get it all done. This makes me crabby. I hate my house being a mess, and yes, it makes me a bear; just ask my husband. Poor guy, generally gets the brunt of it, but there are times during the week that cleaning the house just doesn’t seem fit into […]

When You Want to Join Your Loved One in Death

Posted on January 19, 2012 - by Elisa Medhus

Many of you have found your way to this oasis of hope by following a trail of tears. Many of you grieve. Many of you have suffered under the heavy burden of loss. You find camaraderie here. Understanding. Unity. Friendship. Compassion. But it doesn’t replace the son, daughter, lover, friend or sibling that is no longer here to hug, kiss or annoy. I get it. I too fight every day to stay here. Part of me, a big part, wants to flee to my son, Erik’s, side. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. And then I let it […]

Continuing Connection with a Pet that Has Died

Posted on January 18, 2012 - by Wendy Packman

“Death ends a life – it does not end a relationship.” — (Anderson, 1974) When one suffers the loss of a dear, beloved animal companion, it is a profound loss and a heart-wrenching experience: “I feel like a part of me died with her. I feel a deep emptiness inside that is physically painful (bereaved pet parent).” Bereaved pet parents are changed by the loss experience. Part of the change is a transformed but continuing relationship with their deceased pet. Many bereaved talk about maintaining and experiencing an ongoing attachment and continuing bond with their beloved pet following the loss. […]

Suicide Survivor Seeks Solace

Posted on January 17, 2012 - by Carol Loehr

Suzanne, the mother of a young woman who died from suicide, gave me permission to share her article. — Carol Loehr It has now been two years (November 16, 2009) since my sweet Jessica died from suicide. Each day, I fight back the tears of her loss and try to “get on with life,” but late at night I find the tears rolling at will down my face. I have been reading web posts about suicide, and I can’t help but feel for the other survivors of suicide who open their hearts and share about their loved one lost. It is […]

‘Daddy Died, Mommy. Are You Going to Die, too?’

Posted on January 13, 2012 - by Anne Berenberg

When children lose one of their parents to death, they may worry that their other parent will die as well. This worry can also come if another person who has been very important to them (such as a grandparent) dies. What can we do to keep those worries to a minimum? We lay the first piece of groundwork for keeping anxiety from growing too large by helping bereaved children have a clear, understandable story about their loved one’s death that makes it specific to that person. What does that mean? It means using words the child can understand to tell […]

What Can One Fear After Worst Fear is Realized?

Posted on January 12, 2012 - by Mary Swick

My greatest fear has always been losing a child, and anybody that I am close to knows this. I spoke about it often, and the fear was so nagging that it ate away at my soul and wouldn’t let my mind rest. In fact, when my children were infants, I frequently had to talk myself out of guarding my heart, because my fear was SO great. It took a sort of power over my life that, at times, made it so I did not want to get too emotionally attached to my children for fear that if something happened to […]

Extraordinary Experience: Signs from Beyond

Posted on January 11, 2012 - by Louis LaGrand

Let me emphasize at the outset that I have been trained in the scientific method and hold a dutiful respect for science. However, I have no doubt whatsoever that many bereaved people receive signs or messages from their deceased loved ones or a Supreme being that helps them deal with their losses and reinvest in life. I was not brought up in a world of the extraordinary and have had no yen for the unfamiliar or the unknown. But all of that changed in 1981 when a 64 year-old woman came to me with a story of unusual clarity and […]

Gardens and Grief

Posted on January 10, 2012 - by Terry Jones-Brady

Do you remember when I told you how I love wild violets? I love them when their little purple faces first peek up out of the ground soon after the crocuses have thrust their heads up. Crocuses emerge in their amazing way, right up through snow, surprising us with nearly forgotten promise of color to come. Then the season progresses and we move later into spring. Miniature roses in hues of coral, orange and yellow bloom in abundance on my balcony. The azaleas have almost finished their glorious displays of fuchsia, pink, and wedding gown white. We are planting summer […]

When She Says, ‘I Have Cancer,’ What Do You Say?

Posted on January 9, 2012 - by Stan Goldberg

There are 12 million of us in the United States who live with cancer and the number rises every year as researchers find new drugs to extend our lives. Some of us hide our diagnosis even from trusted loved ones, while others freely share it for a variety of reasons. I’m sure at least once in everyone’s life they will learn that a close friend or family member has cancer. How will you respond when you hear, “I have cancer?” Often, there is an awkward moment when people hear someone is living cancer—or worse, expects to eventually die from it. […]

The End of Grief: ‘Are We There Yet?’

Posted on January 8, 2012 - by Debra Reagan

As I open the new 2012 calendar I purchased at the mall, I think about where I have been and where I am going. Is my life what I thought it would be? Absolutely not! Not since the death of my 20-year-old son, Clint, 6 1/2 years ago. After Clint died, I knew I wanted to find some way to make a good life for my family and myself. I was not sure how we would get to our new normal, but that was the goal. Many times I have asked myself the phrase many moms and dads have heard […]