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Serious Personal Illnesses After the Death of a Child

Posted on January 27, 2012 - by Kay Bevington

At the time of the death of our child, we think and feel that our world will certainly end and we often want to die and be ‘with our children’. It does not matter if we have a wonderful relationship with a spouse, surviving children, family members, friends or a career; we just want to be with our deceased child. For the first several months and sometimes even years, bereaved parents may have a self death wish and would welcome the diagnosis of a serious or terminal illness. Fortunately, after doing years of grief work, we are able to reinvest […]

Italian Tragedy Touches All of Us

Posted on January 26, 2012 - by Richard Beck

The recent tragedy in Italy when the cruise ship sank and many people died touches all of us in so many ways. My girlfriend and I spent New Year’s on a cruise, and it was a time of joy and a experience of happiness. So too were the hopes and desires of all the families who decided to vacation on their cruise, only to have it turn out to be their worst nightmare. Death is always part of life; often it is expected, such as after the culmination of a long term illness. This was not the case for the […]

On STUGs: Subsequent, Temporary, Upsurges of Grief

Posted on January 26, 2012 - by Maureen Hunter

Have you ever come across a new word that strikes you as so good you wonder why you hadn’t heard of it before? Ive found a new grief word. STUG! Coined by Therese Rando, it just makes total sense and sounds a bit more upbeat than Grief Triggers. I’ve been STUGGED! (Subsequent, Temporary, Upsurge of Grief) STUGS certainly aren’t much fun when they happen. There are the STUGS that we come to expect: anniversary days, birthdays and family celebrations. Then there are the ones that come like a bolt out of the blue. Those intense upsurges of grief that take you […]

He is Missed

Posted on January 24, 2012 - by Catherine Tidd

I was at the mall alone, returning a few things from the holidays, looking at clothes that the “experts” say are in style (did anyone really perfect the poncho look?), and generally just enjoying shopping without having to worry about whether or not my kids would knock over an entire display of purses…when something happened that hadn’t happened to me in a while. As I was leaving a store, I felt a tap on my shoulder and when I turned around a woman said to me, “I know you.” And I said, “I know you, too.” But I couldn’t quite […]

Meditation on Winter and Grief

Posted on January 23, 2012 - by Bernie Siegel

Preparation for winter. Prepare the garden for next year by cleaning up the dead material that smothers the living and keeps it from experiencing the light and warmth of the sun. Storing the dead and dried wood of past years to warm our bodies and homes this year. The value of darkness and cold. A time to be alone with one’s thoughts and feelings.To go inside one’s self the direction most fear and avoid. A time to find what truly warms the body and soul is not an external source of heat but the warmth that comes from relationships. Solitude […]

Help Can Come from Unexpected Sources, Like Ukelele Music

Posted on January 22, 2012 - by Harriet Hodgson

Years ago, I heard an author say all life experiences applied to a book when he was writing it. The same could be said of grief support. When you’re grieving, you may find help in unexpected places and from unexpected people — like a professional ukulele player. Today, as I was surfing television channels, I came across a CNN program about Jake Saimabukuro. A Hawaiian musician of Japanese descent, Jake started playing the ukulele at an early age and his music is all over the Internet. He talked about the simplicity of the ukulele and described it as an “instrument […]

Finding Joy After Heartbreak

Posted on January 21, 2012 - by Mary Swick

As we go through our day-to-day lives, we complain about work, kids, finances, etc. But what we keep forgetting to do is find joy every day. Not every day is a good day. Sometimes it seems like there is too much going on in life that you won’t be able to get it all done. This makes me crabby. I hate my house being a mess, and yes, it makes me a bear; just ask my husband. Poor guy, generally gets the brunt of it, but there are times during the week that cleaning the house just doesn’t seem fit into […]

When You Want to Join Your Loved One in Death

Posted on January 19, 2012 - by Elisa Medhus

Many of you have found your way to this oasis of hope by following a trail of tears. Many of you grieve. Many of you have suffered under the heavy burden of loss. You find camaraderie here. Understanding. Unity. Friendship. Compassion. But it doesn’t replace the son, daughter, lover, friend or sibling that is no longer here to hug, kiss or annoy. I get it. I too fight every day to stay here. Part of me, a big part, wants to flee to my son, Erik’s, side. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. And then I let it […]

Continuing Connection with a Pet that Has Died

Posted on January 18, 2012 - by Wendy Packman

“Death ends a life – it does not end a relationship.” — (Anderson, 1974) When one suffers the loss of a dear, beloved animal companion, it is a profound loss and a heart-wrenching experience: “I feel like a part of me died with her. I feel a deep emptiness inside that is physically painful (bereaved pet parent).” Bereaved pet parents are changed by the loss experience. Part of the change is a transformed but continuing relationship with their deceased pet. Many bereaved talk about maintaining and experiencing an ongoing attachment and continuing bond with their beloved pet following the loss. […]

Suicide Survivor Seeks Solace

Posted on January 17, 2012 - by Carol Loehr

Suzanne, the mother of a young woman who died from suicide, gave me permission to share her article. — Carol Loehr It has now been two years (November 16, 2009) since my sweet Jessica died from suicide. Each day, I fight back the tears of her loss and try to “get on with life,” but late at night I find the tears rolling at will down my face. I have been reading web posts about suicide, and I can’t help but feel for the other survivors of suicide who open their hearts and share about their loved one lost. It is […]