Many of you have found your way to this oasis of hope by following a trail of tears. Many of you grieve. Many of you have suffered under the heavy burden of loss. You find camaraderie here. Understanding. Unity. Friendship. Compassion.
But it doesn’t replace the son, daughter, lover, friend or sibling that is no longer here to hug, kiss or annoy. I get it. I too fight every day to stay here. Part of me, a big part, wants to flee to my son, Erik’s, side. I dream about it. I fantasize about it. And then I let it go.
Ah. But for all of you who have toyed with the idea of exiting this life early to be with a deceased loved one, I will tell you this: You’ll probably cross over and realize what an unfortunate mistake you’ve made. Not only will you want to kick your own a#%, your loved ones will line up to do the same.
You’ll discover how you’ve sabotaged your own spiritual mission as well as that of countless others, some who you’ve yet to meet on the earthly plane. You’ll think: “Silly me. I made a mess of things. If only I’d had the courage and resolve to stick it out, to keep to my role in this often caustic drama. Then, I’d come back Home with a sense of spiritual accomplishment for myself and others.”
This isn’t our true home. We are actors on a huge stage playing what roles we must to remember who and what we truly are—to spiritually evolve to but one endpoint: to become unconditional love.
In a perfect world, every path we take should be paved with love rather than fear. Of course, it doesn’t always work out that way, so if we find ourselves traveling along a road of fear, we need to stop, thank it for the lessons it had to offer, and find our way back to Love.
So how do we fill that hole in our heart that our loved one left behind? I can tell you that no litter of puppies, no fluffy kitten, no winning lottery ticket and no new car will do. That part of us is gone, but only by temporary measure.
Sometimes it helps me to think, “Sure, I want Erik back, but he was so unhappy here. His prospects for any kind of success, spiritual or otherwise, were grim.” So, I am happy for him. He is home. And I am proud of what he’s done and will continue to do for us in the Channeling Erik family.
Every hug, every kiss, every conversation I sacrifice for his own welfare and for the greater cause that he is meant to champion. That sacrifice is not an absolute, but only a postponement until the not so distant future. A blink of an eye in the grand scheme of eternity.
So, think of your loved one with pride and happiness. Imagine them as a beautiful rainbow of colors shining down on you, flowing into your soul. As it warms your heart, you can’t help but smile and find joy even in death. Take comfort in knowing that you will be reunited for all eternity. And given that time doesn’t exist, know that you are already there in their arms.
Elisa Medhus 2011
I lost my husband age 66 to FTD/MND, and although he had a predisposition to memory loss, and possibly the early onset of his condition, I truly believe that the anaesthetic to give him a knee replacement exacerbated his illness. We asked for epidural, but he was down that day to be trained up on, and since this operation in 2011, I could see his demeanour change. The short tale is, the surgeon disappeared under a dark umbrella, and the NHS will not give me the answers I craved. Over the months, and years I fought to get John to see different departments for all sorts of reasons, and he has since died three years ago of respiratory failure due to pneumonia, and the above. I still hurt, and miss him so much, and unrealistically, I just want my life back. I`m a lost soul who feels at times I just want to be with him, and although I have children, and grandchildren, I just want John with me, to enjoy our retirement. I hurt when I see other people of my age take holidays, hold hands, etc. I volunteer at a national trust property, practice Tai Chi, go to the theatre, but nothing can replace the man I was with for 45 years. I can`t let go, and I still have his remains with me in the bedroom, and it gives me comfort. I have befriended someone at the trust, but afraid to commit, as I can only ever be friends. I think that Iv`e stabbed myself in the foot there, as he has stopped volunteering on the same day as myself. I cannot promise something that I know I do not want. How does one come to terms with loss, let go, and get on with the change that life has presented. I have been to see a clairvoyant, and she named John`s sister, and then said someone was with him called Don. I asked if it could be John, and she then said without hesitation. Is your name Wendy. I do believe there is more to this life than we see, and I have a very good friend from the evangelical church who tries to encourage me, but losing John has taken me away from worship. I`m hurt, angry, bitter, annoyed, all of the emotions that are stifled up inside me. I go to see a cruise councillor, and she`s lovely, but no amount of talking will take what I am going through, away. I am a creative writer, but find it hard to concentrate, and I know that writing children’s tales helps to take my mind off my situation, but only for a short time. I am still hurting. If you have any ideas as to how I can accept that John is gone, is not coming back, and I won`t join him until time is up for me, I would appreciate your help. I know that death is the circle of life, and nobody is here for ever, and I was fortunate to have had him for the time I did, as I know of one young man who is suffering the same as John, has a wife and three children, and only in his forties. Am I being selfish. I sometimes wonder what life is all about, and my GP has suggested that I up my dose of antidepressants again, until I settle. My son has been ill with depression too, and he has other issues to address, and I care for my mum, who has been a rock for me, but needs me from an emotional point. I sometimes feel drained, and weary, and just want people to leave me alone. I only seem to be wanted by the children for purpose of baby sitting, and although I would have hated to be fussed over, I sometimes feel that they are so busy I get placed on the back burner. When the phone goes I always think, and what is the favour they want today. I feel that there is something out there for me, and I don`t know if it`s from a volunteering point of view, or to just get out there and enjoy life, before I get too old to do it. I need something interesting, and something to get my teeth into. Iv`e even thought of selling up and just moving away, but I can`t on account of mum. I feel trapped sometimes, and just want to break free. Sorry for grumbling, there are many worse off. Thank you for reading this. My e-mail is not allowing me to get into it at the moment, and so if I get a reply, and ignore it, I need to take the computer to be sorted.
Hello,my name is James Carbajal from Denver, Co, my Loving wife of 25 years Nancy passed onto her next journey last Dec/2018, and not a day goes by that I don’t wish to be where she is, my life here without her physical presence is unbearable, from each morning, to each night, and in my dreams, I long to see her and feel her, I understand that she is with me now, I feel her by my side each second of each day, but I am wanting more, I have no feelings inside of me, except to be with her, I wish to have no life without her here, what I mean is she is still my life, from my past, to the present, and for all my future, there will never be anyone else, that is my wish!! waiting seems to be such a long time, we do everything together, always have, why should that stop now!! My only fear is not arriving at the same destination, but I think that falls under spiritual taboos, I am thinking that regardless of how we get there, we still get there, and that is my goal!! there is no one left here for me, she is my everything, and always will be, each night I go to sleep hoping and praying that I will not wake up physically, but spiritually in the afterlife, and only then can I truly be content again, for I will be home, as anywhere she is, as long as we are together, is HOME!!
Hi James. You really nailed it. I feel the exact same way that you do about my crossed over husband. It’s been almost 3 years + I’m just in a holding pattern. I always told him if he died I’d die too + it really happened. I’m like a zombie. I also pray every night to die in my sleep + wake up in his arms on the other side. My heart goes out to you James. I get it. I look forward to only 1 thing:being reunited with my husband. ?
My mum passed away from ovarian cancer on the 12th of March 2016 3 years after I lost my second daughter on the 20th of April 2013 and I want to join her I have wanted to since I lost her she wasn’t just the woman who gave birth to me she was my best friend she was also the glue that held my family together and I miss her more and more everyday ??
At Amy and James –
I’m the same. My one wish is to join the love of my life, Rob. He died in Feb 2020 and not a day goes by that I don’t yearn to speak to him, to hold him and to have him in this physical world with me. I also pray and wish that something will befall me so I can join him. It’s the only thing I really want. He went too soon and took me with him. I’m an empty shell and I only feel the pain of his absence. I wonder why he left me to suffer this all alone. I know he loved me. I wish heaven had a telephone. I wish humans had worked out time travel by now. I’d give my life to travel back and save him. My heart goes out to anyone who lives with this excruciating pain every day.
I feel everyone’s pain and identical to what each of you have posted here. Very recently I lost the love of my life, Josiah, on November 17, 2022. I am lost without him! Every night I pray to visit him in the otherworld! May we all be blessed to be reunited with our lost loves as soon as God deems fit.
Much love to everyone here