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Sister Honors Brother and Herself by Recovering from Loss

Posted on December 5, 2011 - by Rebecca Guevara

A surprising secret about grief is it can become like a good friend, comfortable and routine. My only sibling, a younger brother, took his life years ago and for many years, I suffered like many people do. Grief was my life, and living well enough to appear okay to others was a great effort. But eventually I wanted a peaceful settling with sadness and freedom of spirit to be more lighthearted. Spontaneously I began more openly laughing with friends or humming while preparing a a picnic with my husband and son. On a dark winter’s morning, warm from a shower, […]

Suicide Leaves Family Struggling to Cope

Posted on December 4, 2011 - by Yvonne Lancaster

It was the light fingernail tapping sound on the window that put my dog Minnie on high-alert. She was barking and running around in circles with her usual reliable vigilance. Before I left my easy-chair, I quickly glanced at the clock on the end-table. It was 9:05 PM. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I thought it was late for an unexpected visitor. I turned on the porch light and peeked through the glass pane before I unlocked the door. My sister Claire and her friend Roger stood in the dim light under the shadow of the porch’s small roof. “Oh my […]

On a Night in December

Posted on December 3, 2011 - by Genesse Gentry

Every year, on the 2nd Sunday in December, bereaved families around the world light candles in their own homes or with others for one hour, 7-8 P.M., in honor and memory of all children who have died. This poem explains why we do it. On a Night in December In the midst of winter and all the trees turned bare, we were faced with shopping malls where carols filled the air. And thoughts all turned to loved ones, those present, and those not. For us, whose lives were drained of light, it was solace that we sought. And so began a […]

Son’s Spirit Lives on in Piggy Nation

Posted on December 2, 2011 - by Richard Rosser

On January 31, 2009, our son, Nick Rosser, was taken from us in a car accident. In the ensuing days I struggled to get out of bed. Grief drained me emotionally and physically. At the time of the accident, I was on hiatus from my job as First Assistant Director on the TV show, 24. It was fortunate that I did not have to immediately return to work during those initial days. However, days turned to weeks, my hiatus ended, and I returned to my job. At work I was surrounded by loving friends and crewmembers who were compassionate and […]

Death of a Child Changes ‘Santa’

Posted on December 1, 2011 - by Nan Zastrow

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season begins. Shopping carts and arms are brimming with purchases. Early in the season, there is a sense of joy–the miracle part of Christmas when good moods prevail and everyone is wrapped up in the joyous preparation. We become “Santa” as we plan the perfect holiday celebration. We credit Santa with joyous moods, family celebrations, and the perfect gift. I once played the role as Santa, just like them. Today, there is something missing from the Santa scene…my son. Since our first Christmas without Chad, I’ve never been quite as enthusiastic about the […]

Tragedy Connects Us All

Posted on November 30, 2011 - by David Roberts

I had the honor of being interviewed by our local newspaper for a special section devoted to the tenth anniversary of the September 11,2001 terrorist attacks. Eight victims had ties to my community. The surviving family members of three of these families shared their journeys for this article. I was interviewed as a “grief expert,” whose name was provided to the newspaper by Utica College. I am employed there as an adjunct professor and have taught several courses including, Death, Dying and Bereavement. The interview was brief, but went well. I stated that communities have learned to mobilize around tragedy […]

‘Normal’ Grief is Unique for Each Person

Posted on November 29, 2011 - by KimBoo York

Grief automatically throws us into a time of change. Some of us might regain a semblance of the life we once had, while others veer off into surprising, unexpected paths. Either way, where ever and whomever we used to be and everything we took for granted has changed. We tell people we’re “fine” mostly because we know that’s what they want to hear, but there is a part of us that really wants to believe it, too. We want our sense of normal back, that time in our lives when everything (no matter how much we might have complained at […]

Dr. Pepper Provides Sign from Beloved

Posted on November 28, 2011 - by Brandi Reyna

From my own experience with losing my beloved, I have found it helpful for me to maintain a continuing bond and relationship with him. While our relationship is different than it was when he was here on Earth, I still have a strong connection with him in my heart and through the memories I carry of him and of us. For me, love is stronger than death. Love lasts beyond death. While I still have that bond with Greg, I am not the type of person that often finds myself receiving signs from him. I do not believe that our […]

One Is Silver, the Other Gold: a New Look at Holiday Traditions

Posted on November 26, 2011 - by Nan Zastrow

“I believe that we are here for a reason, I believe that as each day unfolds, We see less of the shadow And more of the sun. Less of the tarnish And more of the gold.” A ninety year old man owned a piece of property with a cabin on a small lake in central Wisconsin. He lived in Chicago. He didn’t go to the cabin because his wife died about seven years before, and the five-hour trip seemed more of a burden than a pleasure. But he still wanted to own the cabin because it was rich with golden […]

Spiritual Women Help Grieving Friends

Posted on November 25, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

Last week I gave a talk at a local church about spiritual women helping each other. The talk came from my own experience of losing four family members in 2007. My handout showed the “bones” of my talk and helped audience members to follow along. What were the points of my talk? Spiritual women offer comfort. When I was lost in the darkness of grief my sister-in-law kept saying, “You will get through this.” I appreciated her reassurance. Other friends said they were praying for me. Three small words, “I’m so sorry,” comforted me as well. Spiritual women stay in […]