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Christmas Grief: Tips for Enduring After a Child’s Death

Posted on December 21, 2011 - by Chris Mulligan

Anniversaries, birthdays, special memories and holidays intensify the pain after the death of a child. And although we may have discovered daily tools to help guide our everyday grief, December seems to require special tips and ideas to navigate the days leading up to the holiday dates. The following are some helpful ideas I have compiled over the years from my own history and from those shared by other bereaved parents. These ideas seem to follow the categories of Self Care, Traditions and Honoring Your Child. Self Care • Accept support • Allow/ask others to help with Christmas tasks (card […]

A Skeptic’s Journey Through Grief

Posted on December 20, 2011 - by Elisa Medhus

As a physician with a strong science background, I used to regard all things spiritual with a jaded eye—until the recent suicide of my young son, Erik. Since then, my life has been cleaved into two parts: The Before and The After, The Bliss and The Dark Despair. Everyone deals with grief differently. I heal best by journaling my thoughts in a way that helps others. So once I was able to wipe away my tears and crawl out of bed, I began to write a blog: www.channelingerik.com. At first, I shared my grief, pouring my broken heart onto every […]

Like a Three-Legged Dog: Adapt and Survive

Posted on December 19, 2011 - by Rob Anderson

My niece’s husband’s brother (got that) has a dog named Samson; he’s an enthusiastic, loving dog. Samson has only three legs. I don’t know the story behind the loss of his right front leg, but I do know he was born with four legs and lost one to an injury. Quite the fork in the road for Samson. Since we can’t understand how dogs rationalize, problem-solve on an intellectual level, or speak to their owners as to how to help them, Samson had to adapt to his new world on his own. His out of balance world provided quite a […]

Couple Use Last Six Months to Express Their Love

Posted on December 18, 2011 - by Stan Goldberg

I would sit for long periods with Jim in his kitchen when Lisa slept. He was a large man who had laid bricks his entire life, until he retired, five years before Lisa received a terminal prognosis of congestive heart failure. Unlike her husband, Lisa was very small, and, in the words of Jim, “the disease shrank her to the size of a tiny bird.” “Neither of us is into the touchy-feely stuff,” Jim said to me one day. “Lisa and I have been married for almost fifty years. Before we knew she was dying, I don’t remember the last […]

100 Things She Misses About her Husband

Posted on December 17, 2011 - by Christine Thiele

Several years ago, after much thought, I decided to create a blog that chronicled my journey through widowhood. It was my hope that by putting my thoughts and words on page one less person would feel alone on their own journey of loss. It was my hope that it would lead to healing…mine… and maybe someone else too. It was the next natural step for my writing. I had written for magazines and other people’s blogs, but I wanted a specific place to share my challenges and successes, my growth and possible regression at times, my sadness and my joy, […]

Using Loss as an Inspiration to Help Others

Posted on December 16, 2011 - by Brandi Reyna

On March 9, 2010, the unthinkable happened, I found myself widowed at the age of 25 when the love of my life, my soul mate, was in a car accident while on his daily morning commute to work, just two months shy of our wedding day. Early on in my journey, I knew part of God’s calling was for me to minister to other widows. At the time, I was 4 months into my journey and I had no idea what my ministry was going to look like. I had a plan in my head, but it was my plan. […]

The Gift: Mother Finds New Connection to Daughter

Posted on December 15, 2011 - by Marcia Gaddis

Like my winter birds who come to the feeder in a variety of ways, Christmas presents come in a variety of packages. Yesterday, I arrived home to find a beautifully wrapped gift on my kitchen counter. I enjoyed just looking at it – so smartly wrapped waiting to open it with the giver. But reading in bed late last night, it was delivered to me. I was encouraged to go ahead and unwrap it so I could use it during Christmas. And I love the gift and will use it – maybe today! But earlier in the day I received […]

Seven Years Later, Coping With the Anniversary of a Death

Posted on December 14, 2011 - by Kelly Farley

This past November marked the 7-year anniversary of losing my sweet daughter Katie. I’m not sure what happened to the last 7 years, but they’ve managed to slip away. I know many of you are newly bereaved and probably think “7 years? I am not sure if I can make 1 year or 2 years. How will I ever be able to make it 7 years?” Those are excellent questions, questions I also asked myself at the beginning of this hell. I know the feeling of surviving second by second and then moving to minute by minute, hour by hour, […]

Don’t Let Grief Steal Your Christmas

Posted on December 12, 2011 - by Heather Arbuckle

On a cold, Sunday morning, as I was preparing to go to church, I got word from Iowa of a terrible accident. During the night, a young member of our family had been taken from us. It is the kind of turn in life that just doesn’t make sense this side of Heaven. Speaking through tears, a beloved member of my family asked, “How do we celebrate Christmas?” And I confess, in the moment, I didn’t have an answer. For as I sat stunned by the events that had come to pass, I couldn’t find words. Though I wanted to […]

We Never Lose the People We Love

Posted on December 11, 2011 - by Sandy Fox

I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. — Leo Buscaglia I happened to see this quote in an issue of the online Compassionate Friends Newsletter. How true it is! I think of how I can apply this quote to everything I have done since my daughter died. Every time I have to make a decision […]