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A Higher Self

Posted on December 10, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

The cushions on my chaise lounge chairs have seen their last summer. Actually, they saw their last summer last summer, but I covered the worn seats by throwing some festive old serapes across the chairs to get me through another summer with the intention of buying new cushions and chairs next spring. Unexpectedly, the snow started to fall last week (really a big surprise since I live in the mountains of Idaho), and I knew it was time to put the summer patio furniture away, minus the cushions. I was about to head out after getting my gloves and coat […]

Turning a Corner?

Posted on December 8, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

My sister, Sandra, was murdered. I say it, I write, I think it, and still, 26 months after her death, I have moments that I can’t believe it happened. I have moments that it still seems surreal. I have moments that I ask myself, how did this happen to my sister, our family. I did not witness the murder. I did, however, witness the murder trial, the conviction and the sentence. I know how she died. I know it was brutal. I know she suffered a great, great deal. I saw pictures, I heard testimony and I have a very […]

Grieving, She Tries to Accept the Emptiness

Posted on December 7, 2011 - by Gemini Adams

While walking my dogs this morning, I was reflecting on the fact that I have acquired a wonderful set of girlfriends who are kind-hearted, intelligent, generous and fun. Nothing unusual about that, you might think? Lots of girls have great girlfriends. However, just over a year ago, this was not the case. I was lonely, feeling a little lost and reeling from the loss of two great friends who had left the area, another who had moved back to England and the fact that a dear friend and I had had a bust-up and were no longer talking. It’s funny […]

Dealing with Special Days: Anniversaries, Birthdays and Holidays

Posted on December 6, 2011 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a reader: I am just 10 days away from the one year mark of my wife’s death, and the last few days have been horrible. I have that all-too-familiar feeling of dread in the pit in my stomach and I have a hard time concentrating on anything. I don’t know how to explain my mood to my seven-year-old son. All I would love to do is to go to sleep for those 10 days and wake up afterwards. I know that in this journey I am going to take some steps backwards and believe me the backwards steps […]

Sister Honors Brother and Herself by Recovering from Loss

Posted on December 5, 2011 - by Rebecca Guevara

A surprising secret about grief is it can become like a good friend, comfortable and routine. My only sibling, a younger brother, took his life years ago and for many years, I suffered like many people do. Grief was my life, and living well enough to appear okay to others was a great effort. But eventually I wanted a peaceful settling with sadness and freedom of spirit to be more lighthearted. Spontaneously I began more openly laughing with friends or humming while preparing a a picnic with my husband and son. On a dark winter’s morning, warm from a shower, […]

Suicide Leaves Family Struggling to Cope

Posted on December 4, 2011 - by Yvonne Lancaster

It was the light fingernail tapping sound on the window that put my dog Minnie on high-alert. She was barking and running around in circles with her usual reliable vigilance. Before I left my easy-chair, I quickly glanced at the clock on the end-table. It was 9:05 PM. I wasn’t expecting anyone. I thought it was late for an unexpected visitor. I turned on the porch light and peeked through the glass pane before I unlocked the door. My sister Claire and her friend Roger stood in the dim light under the shadow of the porch’s small roof. “Oh my […]

On a Night in December

Posted on December 3, 2011 - by Genesse Gentry

Every year, on the 2nd Sunday in December, bereaved families around the world light candles in their own homes or with others for one hour, 7-8 P.M., in honor and memory of all children who have died. This poem explains why we do it. On a Night in December In the midst of winter and all the trees turned bare, we were faced with shopping malls where carols filled the air. And thoughts all turned to loved ones, those present, and those not. For us, whose lives were drained of light, it was solace that we sought. And so began a […]

Son’s Spirit Lives on in Piggy Nation

Posted on December 2, 2011 - by Richard Rosser

On January 31, 2009, our son, Nick Rosser, was taken from us in a car accident. In the ensuing days I struggled to get out of bed. Grief drained me emotionally and physically. At the time of the accident, I was on hiatus from my job as First Assistant Director on the TV show, 24. It was fortunate that I did not have to immediately return to work during those initial days. However, days turned to weeks, my hiatus ended, and I returned to my job. At work I was surrounded by loving friends and crewmembers who were compassionate and […]

Death of a Child Changes ‘Santa’

Posted on December 1, 2011 - by Nan Zastrow

The hustle and bustle of the holiday season begins. Shopping carts and arms are brimming with purchases. Early in the season, there is a sense of joy–the miracle part of Christmas when good moods prevail and everyone is wrapped up in the joyous preparation. We become “Santa” as we plan the perfect holiday celebration. We credit Santa with joyous moods, family celebrations, and the perfect gift. I once played the role as Santa, just like them. Today, there is something missing from the Santa scene…my son. Since our first Christmas without Chad, I’ve never been quite as enthusiastic about the […]

Tragedy Connects Us All

Posted on November 30, 2011 - by David Roberts

I had the honor of being interviewed by our local newspaper for a special section devoted to the tenth anniversary of the September 11,2001 terrorist attacks. Eight victims had ties to my community. The surviving family members of three of these families shared their journeys for this article. I was interviewed as a “grief expert,” whose name was provided to the newspaper by Utica College. I am employed there as an adjunct professor and have taught several courses including, Death, Dying and Bereavement. The interview was brief, but went well. I stated that communities have learned to mobilize around tragedy […]