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Chanel No. 5: Bringing Wife’s Memory Alive

Posted on November 9, 2011 - by Richard Ballo

Chanel No. 5. It is a perfume name that I know. I can’t recall what it smells likes, yet I was married to a woman who wore it. I can recall the woman: her smile, her laugh, her facial expressions, and the way she looked at me. I have a small bottle of Channel No. 5 that I have keep. In the early years of my widowhood, I would remove the top and bring the bottle just under my nose and inhale. Then a miracle happened. She was alive: the feel of her hand on my hand, the sound of […]

Fear of Death Can Prevent Some From Seeking Medical Care

Posted on November 8, 2011 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

For some people, a loss brings an awareness of the fragility of one’s own life. During the bereavement process, the loss can magnify the anxieties and fear of death. If you are embracing this mind-set, long-term, it can become toxic to your health. It is critical to overcome such thinking to enable you to live a life full of rich health. There are many people in my life who are stuck in this mode of thinking. Their fear has caused them pain and discomfort on a daily basis because they will not risk any type of medical treatment. The anxiety of an […]

Nephew Has Special Bond With Deceased Uncle

Posted on November 7, 2011 - by Carol Loehr

We all use our minds to try to understand why our children died. I am no different; when our son Keith died, I continued to ask that endless question—Why? Throughout my pursuit for answers, my niece Juli and her son Cody helped me realize that maybe I was not looking at all possibilities—just maybe I would have to go beyond my own realm of understanding. As Juli shared some of Cody’s spiritual experiences with me, I found it would take a child to help me break through the spiritual barriers that I, as an adult, had created. Cody was […]

Is There a Place at Holiday Table for the Griever?

Posted on November 6, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

It’s that time of year again. The holiday season, a time of rejoicing, celebration. First there’s Thanksgiving, followed by Christmas, Hanukah, and New Years. But what if I’m not thankful and don’t want to celebrate? What if I am sadder than I have ever been? What if I am pissed as hell? And what if I feel guilty… guilty for living when someone I loved died…guilty for failing them? What if I feel guilty because I’m relieved… that it’s finally over? Is there still a place at the table for me? What if I don’t want to bow my head and […]

Don’t Let a Loss Make You Give Up Your Dreams

Posted on November 5, 2011 - by Rebecca Guevara

If you had asked me after my brother took his own life if I held revenge or a need for justice in my heart, I would have told you no. I was too broken, my emotional core was in too many pieces, and most of my feelings surrounded sadness. I would have said such deep sadness cannot hold the anger necessary for revenge or to seek justice. But it was tucked deep inside me and it aimed at my own heart. What I was blind to was this: Just before he died I was really, sincerely beginning to push diligently […]

Young Widow Watches Sons Grow into Men

Posted on November 4, 2011 - by Christine Thiele

I am a mom of two boys. I am mom to two boys who do not have their father around anymore as a model. I am a mom who, beyond words, loves being a mom of boys. When my husband died seven years ago, I knew that finding positive, male role models for my young sons would be one of the most relevant things I would do for them. My dad was there immediately for them. He shared a bond with my boys – he too lost his dad at a young age. He knew what it was like to grow up […]

Platitudes: Uncomfortable for Everyone

Posted on November 3, 2011 - by Chris Mulligan

Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while so that we can see life with a clearer view again. Tom Bodett When we’re grieving, we all platitudes. You know these: “She’s in a better place.” “God never gives us more than we can handle.” “It must have been his time.” “Be grateful you had him for nineteen years.” “You’ll be seeing him soon enough.” “Its God’s will.” Considering the other person’s point of view, the reasons for using these platitudes are many: · The majority of us do not know what to say that […]

Helping Children Cope with Grief during the Holiday Season

Posted on November 2, 2011 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

Holidays are normally a time of joy and celebration amongst families; however, they can heighten children’s sense of loss. Whether it is loss from a death or a divorce, a child is more likely to acknowledge the fact that the relative is missing during these times that are spent with family. According to recent census data, 49.2% of children live in families impacted by death, divorce, separation and abandonment. Despite the sense of loss, parents can prepare for the season, making it special for their children. These seven steps have been created in order to make your child’s holiday season […]

Holiday Season Offers a Chance to Move Forward

Posted on November 1, 2011 - by Rachel Kodanaz

As we walk the path of grief, we look for a passage to help us understand how to comprehend the complexities of anguish and how to channel our emotions into a constructive solution. Logically, we know waking every morning with a constructive plan for the day will help us walk the path of grief. However, our bodies often tell us the pain is too new or too strong to actually execute the plan. The workplace offers an outlet to exercise intellect, logic and creativity, allowing our bodies to take a break from our personal grief and channel our emotions to […]

Finding Daughter’s Purse Restarts Grief Four Years Later

Posted on October 28, 2011 - by Harriet Hodgson

The lower level of our house gets lots of use, especially in the winter time. We watch television there and work in our home office. Fourteen years ago, we had new carpet installed and it had become worn and dirty. “Sorry, I can’t get it any cleaner,” the cleaning man said, and I believed him. It was time to install new carpet again. Before the crew arrived, we had to clear out closets and cull legal papers. In 2007, four family members died and we took in items from three estates. My husband was managing these estates and the paperwork […]