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Mother’s New Normal Includes Memories, Laughter, and Pain

Posted on May 27, 2011 - by Laura Klouzek

To borrow a few words from Huey Lewis, “The power of love is a curious thing”. Love, the ultimate emotion, has been the subject of songs, poems, and books for centuries. This elusive feeling has the power to make people laugh, cry, lose their temper, become violent, become humbled, and return for more. How is it that people can cry for a loved one who has been gone for years? We do not forget the love, and our hearts definitely do not forget the happiness of relationship or the hurt of loss. In our quest to remember those who have […]

The End of Winter Sometimes Comes Slowly

Posted on May 26, 2011 - by Deb Kosmer

Have you ever noticed that it’s hard to tell when winter really ends and spring begins? Just when it seems all the snow has melted and that there hasn’t been any falling for awhile, we get hit with more. Sometimes, it’s just a little and hardly lasts long at all. Sometimes it’s a blizzard and that cold wet white stuff is everywhere. When it’s light and fluffy, we can remove it easily. When it’s heavy and compacted, it is much more difficult. Sometimes not long after another snowfall, we wake up and the sun is shining and the air is warm […]

Tornado Losses Include People, Homes, Memories

Posted on May 25, 2011 - by Susan Berger

Watching on TV the havoc wrought by the tornadoes in Missouri and Oklahoma reminded me of how destructive natural disasters can be to those affected by them. Not only were many lives lost – wives, husbands, children, parents, pets – but also homes, schools, hospitals, entire neighborhoods. Think about the memories contained in all of those people and places. We humans form many attachments in the course of our lives. First and foremost, we value our family members and friends. Beyond our immediate circle of intimates, we interact with so many other individuals who contribute to our lives with their […]

Active Grieving Can Return Hope After Child-Loss

Posted on May 25, 2011 - by Vicky Bates

Why is change so daunting? Thinking about a transition when we are perfectly settled in our comfort zone is overwhelming at times. Sometimes, when our lives suddenly take a turn, we are like the unwilling family dog going to the kennel, being dragged by a taut leash into a new situation, our feet firmly planted on the linoleum floor, being yanked against our will toward the “unknown” back room. Many changes throw us to the proverbial winds. Job loss puts many people under tremendous stress and worry. The have to rethink what is important in their lives. They will be […]

forest for the trees

Posted on May 24, 2011 - by admin

Don’t lose sight of the big picture There’s a saying about not being able to see the forest for the trees. Grief to me sometimes can feel like that. You can’t see the future for the present and in this moment you are filled with the biggest sadness and emptiness humanly possible. Grief has somehow become my friend; after all we’ve been introduced four times. We’re practically on first name basis now. My first introduction to grief was my mother dying when I was 12. I am 26 now. It wasn’t expected, it was from nowhere, it was the blindside […]

Compassion Fatigue When Helping Others

Posted on May 24, 2011 - by Kim Go

Compassion fatigue is a term often applied to medical personnel providing support to those facing traumatic circumstances. This powerful term can be applied to numerous alternate settings. The setting that I would like to apply it to is the act of peer caregiving for the bereaved. There can be tremendous or hidden stress as a result of being engaged and involved with traumatized and grieving people. My aim is to help those who would like to develop endurance as peers in grief to create practical conditions to sustain an even level of support. First, know that what you do as […]

Keep Contact With Children Through Prayer Registry

Posted on May 23, 2011 - by Sheri Perl

I lost my son Danny on July 1, 2008, to an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs. He was 22 years old, a beautiful mountain of a kid with his whole life ahead of him, gone in an instant due to an error in judgment. In the last two and a half years since that harrowing day in July when his father and I discovered him, I have been on a mission to find Danny through any means available to me. I am currently working on a book to share some of the roads I have explored in my search […]

It’s OK to Be Angry!

Posted on May 22, 2011 - by Maureen Hunter

I grew up in a house of emotionless beings. There was a scarcity of extreme reactions to anything. Emotions seemed to be secreted away inside ourselves and never allowed out to “play”. In the 60s, life revolved around the practicalities of living, not emotions. Teachers ruled with an iron fist. You learnt by rote and punishment. You spoke only when spoken to. You never talked back. You never showed emotion. You certainly never got angry. Imagine my surprise then with the onslaught of emotions that assailed me with the death of my son. Anger seeped out of my pores. It […]

you asked me to let go daddy, I miss you

Posted on May 21, 2011 - by admin

Im mad, Im sad, Im numb, I want my dad to call me and tell me everything is going to be ok. I never thought Id have to let go, I never understood how tired he really was, I hate myself for asking him to fight the cancer. I was so selfish and Im still being selfish, I want him back, I need my dad back. I feel like im going in circles, I want to tell him how much I love and miss him. Im drowing and I dont know how to let go.

Our Children are Always With Us in Spirit

Posted on May 21, 2011 - by Sandy Fox

I know for certain that we never lose the people we love, even to death. They continue to participate in every act, thought and decision we make. Their love leaves an indelible imprint in our memories. We find comfort in knowing that our lives have been enriched by having shared their love. Leo Buscaglia I happened to see this quote in a current issue of the online Compassionate Friends Newsletter. How true! How true it is! I think of how I can apply this quote to everything I have done since my daughter died. Every time I have to make […]