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‘How Long Will It Take?’

Posted on March 11, 2011 - by Shep Jeffreys

Grieving people, their friends and family frequently ask me the question: “How Long Will It Take?” So many of their friends have their own ideas about the right length of time for grief and mourning. Those friends freely make their opinions known to those who are bereaved or suffering from other life losses. Clients will verbalize concern that they are taking too long or not grieving long or “hard enough” to satisfy others in their lives. My answer is, “As long as it takes,” provided that complications have not developed. For usual and customary grieving, there is no right amount […]

Peace in Eight: Friends, Rituals, Time Lessen the Pain of Child-Loss

Posted on March 10, 2011 - by David Roberts

March 1st marked my daughter Jeannine’s eighth angelversary; on that date, Jeannine became forever eighteen. The last seven years have been characterized by intense grief during the days and months leading up to the date of her death. Since Jeannine died of cancer, I would consistently relive the excruciating pain of the last months and moments of her life. I have gradually learned to manage the pain of my loss more effectively over the years. I also believe that reliving the pain of losing our children is another reminder that our love for them never dies. During the eighth year […]

Grief Following the Loss of a Beloved Pet

Posted on March 9, 2011 - by Wendy Packman

The Pain of Loss “This is the most terrible pain I have ever had and I feel like I will never be the same person I was before my pet passed. It felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest when he died and a scream came out of me that was from some place unknown. I feel like I cannot go on and have lost my best friend who loved me without conditions or expectations.” — Bereaved pet owner Becoming attached to beloved animal companions causes us to experience both joy and pain. The bonds we develop with […]

The Importance of Older Women After Mother-Loss

Posted on March 9, 2011 - by Lauren Muscarella

Volunteering at a hospital adorns me with friends whose ages span from 70 to 6. It’s actually quite enlightening. Occasionally a child needs looking after while a parent attends to adult things, and I have the privilege of listening to a first-grader read to me. Having friends who are older is especially important since my mother and I never had the chance to talk about life the way I would have liked. How we spoke when I was 19 is vastly different from how we would speak today. For that reason, I make it a point to nurture and cherish […]

For Family of Murder Victim, Wheels of Justice Turn Slowly

Posted on March 8, 2011 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

My sister was murdered on September 17, 2009. Six months and 5 days later, on March 23, 2010, an arrest was made. It will soon be 18 months since her death. It will soon be 12 months since the arrest was made. I’ve been told that the court process will be slow. It will take time. I’ve learned what I have been told is true. I’ve also learned that waiting is a true test of my patience. The initial trial was set for June 7th, then continued until June 21st. The trial was continued once again, this time until September […]

‘Honest Grief’ Helps 10-Year-Old Deal With Grandpa’s Death

Posted on March 7, 2011 - by Karen Johnson

I was ten, playing with my friend across the street from Grandma and Grandpa’s bungalow. I was so grown-up now. I got to ride the bus ALL ALONE to visit, and it was a 3-hour trip! We were on the porch, and I looked up to see Grandma crashing out the back door, running toward the backyard. Without thinking, I hopped up, crossed the street yelling, “Grandma, what’s wrong?” I found Grandma kneeling over Grandpa, who had been in a very tall tree trimming the branches. I didn’t think much about Grandma going back in the house as I kneeled by Grandpa […]

Choose to Let Go of Grief and Pain

Posted on March 6, 2011 - by Tabitha Jayne

Wild-eyed, I stared at the reflection in the mirror. I no longer recognised myself. My eyes were haunted by the pain and suffering not only of my brother’s death but of all the other losses I’d experienced throughout my life. My once long red hair was gone, hacked off in a fit of fury as I tried to rid myself of the wild emotions coursing throughout my very being. All that remained was a bald scalp. My vision blurred, a result of the all the tablets and alcohol I’d thrown down my throat in an attempt to appease the pain. […]

Hope Eternal: Miscarriage Doesn’t End Mother-Daughter Bond

Posted on March 5, 2011 - by Heather Arbuckle

We call her Hope. Our baby, lost to us in late January 2003, was with us only briefly. Eight weeks to be exact. Not long enough to take her first breath, but long enough to be a reality in my heart. Long enough for me to imagine holding her in my arms. Long enough to visualize her face and imagine her personality. But, gone before any of those dreams could be realized this side of Heaven. Though we never saw our baby, and science could not determine whether it was a boy or a girl, my husband and I have […]

Mother’s Necklace is More Than Just Jewelry

Posted on March 5, 2011 - by Lizzy Miles

I wore the necklace with the tiny multicolored beads every day. Its primary color was black but there were also blues, greens, reds and white. I liked the necklace because it was unique and because it matched my wardrobe. It was my favorite. I was on vacation and in a hotel room in Las Vegas when the unthinkable happened. I was pulling the necklace over my head and it got caught in my ponytail. I tugged and it broke. The tiny little beads scattered everywhere: on the counter, on the floor and down the sink into the drain. I must […]

When You’re Feeling Widowy…

Posted on March 4, 2011 - by Christine Thiele

I know that widowy isn’t a word, but it is a description of how I feel today. Widowy isn’t quite full-on sadness. Widowy is more like melancholy. My grief, my sadness blows around me like a gentle breeze. It’s a breeze that I notice, but it’s not the hurricane force of grief that can throw me to the ground. Widowy for me is kind of sweet and sad all together. Here in Arizona, the weather is cold, but beautiful these days. In the end of January and early February, the events begin that make us the tourist trap we love […]