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Turn Grief into Joy? Cliches Don’t Work for the Bereaved

Posted on January 25, 2011 - by Fran Dorf

As a bereaved mother who mourned and still mourns the loss of her three-year-old son, Michael, I cringed when I heard former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, make reference to the families of the victims of the terrible shooting in Tucson. She said, off-handedly, “May God turn their mourning into joy.” In my view, such sentiments, which seem so commonly held in this country, show a complete misunderstanding for both mourning AND joy, and maybe even for God too. Let’s leave politics aside for the moment, along with my personal feelings about Sarah Palin. I’m sure Ms. Palin meant those words […]

sadly missed

Posted on January 24, 2011 - by admin

my mum suddenly passed away recently in such a tragic way.im finding it very difficult to deal with the pain is too much.im still so shocked and cant take it in,never felt this sad in my life,i feel numb and so lost.my mum was my rock and shes been taken from me in a bad way.how do i deal with it,shes just 52.

Farewell to a ‘Transitioning’ Friend

Posted on January 24, 2011 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

If you have or you are currently sitting bedside of a loved one in hospice, you are probably struggling with accepting the thought and reality of letting your beloved go. It is a psychological battle that starts by praying for a miracle of life and ends by praying for a miracle of death: “Please, God, end the suffering. ” It is the most traumatic experience I have lived through. It didn’t seem like I would at the time but I survived this roller coaster of emotions while supporting my dad through his hospice process. As I write this article, I […]

New Year Offers Chance at New Beginning

Posted on January 23, 2011 - by Susan Berger

“Christmas Eve was the hardest.” I am so grateful for my friends.” “I made it through.” “Thank goodness, the holidays are over.” These were some of the expressions I heard from my bereaved clients as we resumed our sessions after the new year began. Some described continuing the traditions of holiday parties with friends and family. A few escaped to places as diverse as Vermont and the Caribbean. Sseveral stayed home and spent “quiet time” alone or with immediate family. Regardless of when their loss occurred, however, the winter holidays are especially hard. Our society creates such high expectations for […]

losing a friend in a one car wreck with drunk driv

Posted on January 22, 2011 - by admin

73 days ago, november 9th, 2010, i lost a girl who meant so much to me. rachel lutrell. she was always there, always could make me smile, always knew what to do to make anyoine smile or make anything fun. yeah, we had our fights, but she meant the world to me. she died in a one car wreck. her and 3 other people were in the car. she was 14. the other girl was 16, one guy was 19, and the driver was 18, now 19. she was the only one who didnt make it through. the driver had […]

Picture Me a Memory: Old Photos are Stirring

Posted on January 22, 2011 - by Kate McGrath

On a recent trip to Italy, I developed an interest in photography. There were simply too many picture-perfect moments that I had to honor with the click of my camera. And so, for Christmas, my parents bought me a gift for the purpose of cultivating this new and creative interest of mine – a new camera! Since then, I have gone click-crazy in an attempt to capture significant, meaningful moments – including those which feed not only my soul, but fill my stomach as well! I now have well over two hundred pictures from Christmas and New Year’s alone, not […]

When Animal Friends Die

Posted on January 21, 2011 - by Gabriel Constans

They say cats have nine lives. I wish that were true, but the facts contradict such myths. Everything dies, including the felines, dogs and other creatures we choose to care for and have in our lives. Most animals tend to have a shorter life-span than humans, thereby increasing the chances that our beloved friend will stop breathing long before we leave our mortal bodies behind. To add insult to injury is the often callous or dismissive attitude and comments of others when we’ve lost a non-human friend. People don’t always understand the emotional impact losing a pet can have. They […]

Getting Through Loss is an ‘Accomplishment’

Posted on January 20, 2011 - by Christine Thiele

The early days of my widowhood were dominated by my loss. Days were sad, and I struggled to reach nightfall every day because I knew I could fall into bed exhausted and relief would come for a few hours. I didn’t have to be anyone to anybody. I just had to get through the night. The holiday seasons are kind of like those early days, months, even years of widowness. I pray to make it through without losing myself again in the depths of my grief. Well, I’m here to tell you, I survived another holiday season. Was this season what […]

A Boy, a Man

Posted on January 19, 2011 - by admin

It¹s cold this morning in the mountains, really cold. While I was preparing to post my blog for the week something was gnawing at me, a sad incident that wouldn¹t leave me alone. Yesterday a local boy was found in the snow after 2 days of searching. The first of these nights was 17 below zero when he decided to leave a note on facebook, ³I love you all.² And walked out of the house taking a gun. Suicide leaves us with so many ³what ifs², and a weight of failure and blame on some level, that is added to […]

Obama’s Tucson Speech Shows How Words Can Help the Grieving

Posted on January 19, 2011 - by Irv Leon

Pres. Obama’s moving address to the nation last week may be viewed as a fine illustration of how we help others who grieve traumatic losses and what such grieving demands of us. Commentary on his own words will demonstrate how his short speech said so much. “There is nothing I can say that will fill the sudden hole torn in your hearts.” No words can undo this loss, though, ironically, this belies how much the right words and compassion can make a difference. The violent and traumatic nature of the killings is viscerally felt and not avoided in describing its […]