73 days ago, november 9th, 2010, i lost a girl who meant so much to me.
rachel lutrell. she was always there, always could make me smile, always
knew what to do to make anyoine smile or make anything fun. yeah, we had
our fights, but she meant the world to me. she died in a one car wreck. her
and 3 other people were in the car. she was 14. the other girl was 16, one
guy was 19, and the driver was 18, now 19. she was the only one who didnt
make it through. the driver had been drinking. he was underage and his BAC
when tested was .07. they lost control and hit a tree going 70+ mph on a curvy road. speed limit on a straight stretch of it is 35, curves are closer. she died on impact.. honestly, when it happened, the more information i found out, the more it
hurt. for about a month, i lost all faith in God. i couldnt believe that if
he really existed that he would take such an amazing girl out of so many
peoples lives. she had so much to live for. number one in freshman class, a
great motocross racer, a wonderful friend. i finally came to my senses
about my faith. i knw there was a reason. but it hurts. but lately, i keep
having these dreams, dreams about memories with her, bbut more often,
dreams that i was in the truck with her, that i saw what happened, that i
could have saved her. i wake up crying every time. i dont know what its
supposed to mean.


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