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Socializing Again After the Loss of a Spouse

Posted on February 2, 2011 - by Susan Reynolds

Within a few months of my husband’s death, I was sitting in counseling, reviewing my life, rethinking my future, and rebelling about the future prospects. My counselor suggested that my social circle would no longer be “corporate” entertaining nor logistics with teenage daughters and their networking. What then? She commented that my circle would be women. I cried, I cursed, I cringed. Hadn’t the rug already been pulled out from under me and now another one shoved underneath without the welcome mat? I was willing to try. A friend of mine was turning 50 years old. She, […]

IN MEMORY OF MY SON

Posted on February 1, 2011 - by admin

IN MEMORY OF MY SON By Kelly Crawley On Jan.30, 2007, around 7:00pm, my family and I were driving home from my mother- in -law’s house. We were on a back road out in the country about a mile and a half from our home. I was looking around for deer. Then, all of the sudden, I heard my husband say, “Hang on!”, so I put my arms around my son and hung on tight. He was sitting by the door. My husband lost control of our truck and it started to go on its side. Then it started to […]

Valentine’s Day for a Daddy’s Girl

Posted on February 1, 2011 - by Alicia King

I admit it. I was always a daddy’s girl. Don’t get me wrong. I was very close to my mom, too. I was lucky. I had two loving, involved parents. Still, my dad and I were tight. When my parents split, I couldn’t bear to see him alone, so I left our cushy family home and slept on the lumpy couch of his rental house. I sought his approval and was always thrilled to see him in the audience of a school play or the sidelines of a little league game. My dad always bought sentimental Valentine’s Day cards […]

Couple Grieves Lost Child at Different Pace

Posted on January 31, 2011 - by Lisa Buell

I could feel the pressure, my skin becoming tight, my breath shallow and cold, the room too full of her memory. And I would go, from corner to corner, wall to wall, choosing, oh so carefully, the pictures to be put away. I nestled them in drawers between spare candle holders, foreign coins, old crayons and the like, possibly useful objects that will someday be stored in the attic. I would never send them straight to “storage” without having them rest in the holding place first, the place that gives me the illusion of possibility, and with that, accessibility. She […]

‘Arms of God’: Bereaved Mom Questions, Affirms Faith

Posted on January 29, 2011 - by Cindy Shufflebarger

Having just experienced the miracle birth of my daughter, followed by the devastating blow of her death, I found myself unable to pray. Prayer had sustained me during the difficult pregnancy wrought with uncertainties. Early in the pregnancy, we discovered that our baby had a fatal chromosomal defect known as trisomy 18. Reeling at the devastating news, I clung to God like never before. “Lord, please let me hold my baby alive,” I pleaded. “Please give me peace and strength to endure the journey ahead.” Prayer after prayer I lifted to the Father. And day after day He lifted me. […]

Losing My Mentor: Remembering Romulus Linney

Posted on January 29, 2011 - by Anne Hamilton

I lost a great friend and mentor this month. Romulus Linney, the playwright and novelist, died in New York of lung cancer. In a twist of fate, Rom’s daughter, the actress Laura Linney, won a Golden Globe the day after her father’s death, for her starring role in THE BIG C, a story about a woman with cancer. Rom was my professor at Columbia University School of the Arts, and then my colleague at the New School’s Actors Studio Drama School. He led the playwrighting programs at both universities. I learned from him first as a student, and then as […]

Feeling Loved After Loss on Valentine’s Day

Posted on January 28, 2011 - by admin

By Suzy Yehl Marta, Founder of Rainbows For All Children Valentine’s Day is synonymous with love, romance, roses and more. Often called a Hallmark holiday, Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time when grieving a loss or life altering change. On my first Valentine’s Day after my divorce, I was innocently walking through Hallmark I found myself angry that this holiday even existed. I hurriedly spent more than $50 on Valentine’s cards for my children, parents and close friends. I thought, “Who needs a spouse anyway?! I have many others in my life I could share my sentiments and pamper.” […]

NOW

Posted on January 27, 2011 - by admin

Even though the calendar reads mid-January the days are getting longer. Someone said that at this time of year the daylight increases by 3 minutes each twenty-four hours; that comforts me, even though it was 10 degrees this morning. That soft evening light that stretches over the river and trees by my house gives me a quiet settling as if I was taking that first deep breath of a meditation. Grief is strange, as you know. One minute you want to hold on to the past dwelling on every little minutia of your lost loved one, and then as the […]

Stranger More Comforting to Bereaved Than Friends

Posted on January 26, 2011 - by Diana Doyle

Do you ever find comfort from a stranger? While in Australia over Christmas, I met a young woman, an outsider to my world, who knew nothing of my losses. I don’t usually tell new people I meet how I’ve lost so many family members; it blows their minds. But I’m glad I did with her! In our little cottage in Australia, I have a photo wall of dead people. That may seem strange to some, but to anyone who is traveling this road through grief, it’s not so odd. I love my wall. It has photos of family members that have […]

Turn Grief into Joy? Cliches Don’t Work for the Bereaved

Posted on January 25, 2011 - by Fran Dorf

As a bereaved mother who mourned and still mourns the loss of her three-year-old son, Michael, I cringed when I heard former governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, make reference to the families of the victims of the terrible shooting in Tucson. She said, off-handedly, “May God turn their mourning into joy.” In my view, such sentiments, which seem so commonly held in this country, show a complete misunderstanding for both mourning AND joy, and maybe even for God too. Let’s leave politics aside for the moment, along with my personal feelings about Sarah Palin. I’m sure Ms. Palin meant those words […]