The bus stopped for you at GRIEF, and as you stepped off, you sank into an abyss of pain and sorrow, like nothing you had experienced before.   You don’t have to stay forever in this inhospitable place.

Get back on the bus now!

When we experience the loss of a loved one, we can feel totally powerless as the feelings associated with grief wreak havoc in our lives. In the short term, we may have little control over our life and go through the motions in survival mode only. We wonder if we will ever feel some degree of peace again.

Stepping back onto the bus and getting onto the highway of life takes courage, but more than that, it takes a commitment to you.

Are you ready?

You must decide if you want life to be more than it is at the moment. Do you want to have meaning in your life again? Do you want to truly live again? Only you can decide.

Many may think, of course: What a stupid question! Of course I want to truly live, but getting back on that bus takes a lot of hard work. It will require that resolve, that commitment to you. It will underpin your actions, as you adapt to grief and gradually make a new course for yourself in the strangely altered life you now find yourself in.

Let me share something with you. About three months after my son died, I was with a friend. The emotional pain I found myself in was crippling me. Through my tears, I made a commitment to myself that night. I made a conscious decision that my son’s death would not define my life for ever, not in this way. It would not mean I was destined to live in this extreme emotional pain forever. It would not mean I would never enjoy moments of peace again.  If I succumbed to this forever, I would be dead whilst alive, something I couldn’t do to myself or to Stuart. I thought of the pain he must be in watching ME and unable to help ME.

I had to get through this somehow!

Making that decision didn’t mean I could magically appear in a new life and start afresh. It meant I had to take steps to integrate that loss and get to a new destination. It meant there were tough times. It meant I had to find new ways of doing, being and feeling, that wouldn’t come easy.

To get where I am now has been the most difficult thing I have ever done. There were many times when I couldn’t get back on the bus.  When the days were especially tough I would think back to that night and that decision I made to myself. That is what kept me going when I wanted to give up. I decided NO! I do want different. I’m getting back on the bus!

Here are some things to remember:

  • You are in charge of you – you have control over you.
  • It takes courage to step into the unknown – it takes a leap of faith. Look ahead to what you want.
  • You are stronger than you know – you can do this. Be the strength you need for you.
  • Remind yourself every day of your commitment – I am back on the bus.

Maureen Hunter 2011

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Maureen Hunter

In 2006, Maureen Hunter was working in a small country town in Western Australia. It was a day like any other. That night her 18-year-old son was critically injured in a car accident, dying five days later in hospital. That experience was to change her life forever. Working for many years as a Registered Nurse in acute care settings and palliative care, as well as losing both her parents to cancer, Maureen believed she understood what grief was. That was until she lost her youngest son. Reeling from that sudden and devastating loss, she spent a month away to process her grief and allow herself some healing time. During long periods of contemplation and reflection, it became very clear to her then that she would use her own experience of grief to help others. Maureen is now committed to doing just that through her website, She provides comfort, hope and inspiration through her writings and Stepping through Grief resources and programs. She writes regularly on grief, healing, resilience and spirituality and is the creator of “Stepping through Grief: the 7 Steps Pathway,” a step-by-step process which helps individuals step through grief to find meaning in their lives once more. Recently interviewed on blog talk radio, Maureen shares her experiences of grief openly with others and is passionate about using her own experience to make a difference to those struggling with the loss of a loved one. She is a regular contributor to The Compassionate Friends local newsletter as well as being a phone contact in her local area for bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents. Living in the beautiful southwest wine region of Western Australia with her partner, Maureen enjoys the magic of sandy white beaches, ocean waves and a glass of chilled white wine. She says, “In nature, my soul is stilled and I find in times of contemplation my creativity emerges. If what I write and share with others, helps them in any way, then that is what matters most to me, that is what inspires and motivates me. As I enjoy the inherent beauty of this part of the world, I know that Stuart is there with me, by my side, guiding and supporting.” If grief has touched your life, or someone you know, please accept this FREE inspirational guide with my love: “Opening the Door to Hope….Helping you Step through Grief" at For more information about Maureen’s Stepping through Grief resources and programs, visit

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