Death of a Parent, Special Topics, Your Grief

Daughter Feels Little Support for Mother-Loss

Wednesday, March 5, 2025

Question on Feeling Little Support for Mother-Loss Question: I tearfully happened upon your website by chance this morning.  My dearest friend, my mom, died in my arms this past month.  I had brought her here to live with me after her colon cancer returned. From the moment of diagnosis, I watched her hurt and endure so much treatment, never giving up, always smiling, always gentle, humble.  Since she died, I’ve received very little support from my husband or anyone else.   I joined an online grief group, but I do not feel as if I belong there.  My friends have faded […]

Death of a Child

Bereaved Aunt Asks, ‘Where Do I Fit In?’

Thursday, February 27, 2025

Question from a Reader: Two months ago, my 21-year-old nephew, my sister’s only child, was killed in a car accident.  I was 19 when he was born.  I have feelings of love for him almost as if he were my own son.  But I can’t find others like me.  I have searched a few online forums, and it seems there isn’t a specific place for me to go.  Where do I fit in?  Also, I feel so guilty — something similar to “survivor’s guilt.”  I wonder how my sister can stand to look at me, at my 20-year-old daughter, at […]

Death of a Sibling, Special Topics

Death of a Sister: ‘Part of My Soul Has Left Me’

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

Death of a Sister I walk to your grave alone, in the cold demise of Fall.  It seems so much colder here without the comfort of knowing that you will be here to protect me in this life as you have so well.  The sky is white and endless.  The sun has been cloaked by the cryptic fog.  The leafless trees sway back and forth with the algid wind.  The ground is damp and dreary.  The world never seemed to be such a strong representation of death before you left me here, all alone. Oh, my elder sister, why have […]

Death of a Spouse, Special Topics, Your Grief

Grieving Through the Holidays

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Grieving Through the Holidays I know I’m not the only one who is feeling the effects of the season. Grieving during “normal” times is a full-time job.  Throw in 2 or 3 holidays back-to-back and whatever milestones we might have in the middle…well…we’re all working on nervous breakdowns of epic proportions. I think one of the cruelest things about the holidays (and this may just be me) is that we’re dealing with something we used to look forward to so much. And it’s turned into something we can barely get through. My first Christmas without my husband was definitely the hardest.  […]

Death of a Child, Special Topics

Do We Ever ‘Get Over’ the Death of a Child?

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Getting Over a Child-Loss There was a time when I believed that people should “get over” their grief by the 12th month following a loss. After all, isn’t that what our society believes to be true? In the summer of 1976, I was employed by a doctor in a medical office building. There were several other offices on our floor, and at noon time, I would meet with some of the other doctors’ employees for lunch. One woman, whom we called Gracie, had lost her 16-year-old son two years prior in a drowning accident. Each day at lunch break, Gracie […]

Death of a Spouse

Widower Ponders What to do With the Ring

Wednesday, March 6, 2024

What Do I Do with the Ring? Eight months after my wife Lisa died of cancer, I sat in our bedroom staring at my gold wedding band, the symbol of our love and marriage that I still wore. I didn’t want to let go. I didn’t want my marriage to end after only 8 years, and the thought of removing my ring plagued me with guilt. Yet, I knew that I had to remove my ring. I had to admit that at age 40, I was a widower with two young sons to raise. My ring is a symbol of […]

Death of a Spouse

Five Years into Widowhood, Life Goes On

Tuesday, February 20, 2024

Five Years into Widowhood I still can’t believe that he is gone, and perhaps I never will.  And that’s all right.  I never thought that I would be alone, and in my mind, I know that being alone is the hardest thing that I will ever have to do.  If you have lost the love of your life, then you know what I am talking about. You confront the same unbearable pain and heartbreak each day as I do, and you too have loneliness as your constant companion. It has been five years since Eddie died.  My friends and family […]

Death of a Spouse, Special Topics

Widow Fears Sharing Thoughts of Suicide

Sunday, October 1, 2023

Widow Fears Sharing Thoughts of Suicide Question from a Reader I know I’ve heard plenty of times that it is normal for ‘grievers’ to feel despondent and wish to be with their spouse who has passed on. But, it doesn’t feel like it’s normal to me because I don’t want to live any more, although I am not going to do anything to harm myself. In fact, I am on a healthy food plan and I am doing whatever it is I need to do to live from one day to the next. I stay in for days at a […]

Open to Hope

Death of Husband Led Her to Stop Fearing Life

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

The word “fear”. Take a moment to think about what fear means to you. To me, the word brings up a million different images. To most, it means that they are afraid of something: afraid to speak in public, or scared and nervous to try something new, which is often actually a fear of failure. To me, fear means that I am not stepping outside of my comfort zone and I am not taking healthy chances. All changes, all goals and all life choices are the result of looking fear in the face. Fear causes people not to live. That […]

Death of a Child

December is the Longest Month of Grief

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

December is the most difficult time of year for those of us who have children who are physically no longer with us. For me it begins in late September, with the anniversary of the day my son Richard died. Followed by Halloween. Richard loved Halloween…he took a lot of pleasure in introducing his youngest daughter to scary spiders and goblins in one of the most decorated communities where we live. It’s a community that used to provide such family fun and pleasure for us but which has now become a painful reminder that holidays will never be the same. After Halloween, […]