Have you ever wondered why the good die young?
I think about that all the time. It was a perfect Saturday. The couple went to the Bronx, walked around laughing and reminiscing. They went home watched a movie with their kids, but he couldn’t fall asleep. His chest was hurting, he didn’t feel well. Suddenly, he wasn’t breathing.
That great man was my dad. How could a perfectly healthy man just suddenly not be there when you get home from school? The thought of what happened that night is always in my head.
I wonder if dying hurts. Was there light? What was his last word?
Death is a part of life and sometimes it hurts to say goodbye when you had a great relationship with someone.
Months passed by and the feeling of loneliness and anger was taking over my body. I turned away from my family and friends and started harming my body. I never thought this was going to happen to me. It still seems so unreal and different that the big teddy bear I loved to cuddle with isn’t there anymore.
It’s hard to tell people that I don’t have a dad anymore, or to talk about him in front my friends. It’s great that I have a great family for support and friends, but sometimes you just want your dad.
I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I want to call him from work. I want to eat ice cream with him. I want to ride in his truck and talk about the economy and history. I want everything I shared with my dad back. If I had one wish in the entire world, it would be to have him back.
Michelle Gallucci 2010Tags: anger, belongings, funerals, money, Depression, guilt, signs and connections
Hi,I am sorry for your loss Michelle. It is a terrible loss, more painful than any other, when you lose a parent. I lost my father on march 19th of this year, its gonna be 9 months, and eventhough time does dull the pain a little, it still is heart-wrenching. I am 28 yrs old, and my dad was 71. This may seem like a decent age to live to for some, but he was young, too young for me to lose him. He went into the hospital because he had lost alot of weight and was weak. They found problems with his liver, it covered in lesions. i didnt know what this meant. so i researched. it was cancer, but they needed to see where it started, the main tumor was in his stomach. but they didnt find it til 2 weeks into his hospital stay. it didnt matter, it was already stage IV. His liver was failing and no chemo or radation would save him at this point. None of us had any clue. we knew he wasnt well, but never occurred to us that it was cancer. He was so healthy otherwise, ate healthy, but also was scared to follow up on other health problems that ultimately could have saved him early on. But he didnt know this would happen. After his 3 week stay in the hospital, he was released to go and have hospice care at home. and i know they helped him, but i wish they would have released him sooner because 5 days later he passed away. we were all in the same room, when i woke up to not hear him breathe.snore. just silence. that changed my and my moms life forever.Its like a piece of me is gone, an emptiness inside. and ive talked to friends and i talked to a therapist a couple times. Everyone talks about healing and moving forward. but its so life changing, yet inevitable. i am glad to have found this website, and your page here. I am sorry if i have said too much, but it just feels good to vent things i know someone can relate with. even my family members dont get it. my cousins, lost an uncle, and they are all guys, they tend to bury their feelings and move on quick the way they did with our other uncle, but this was my father. and the loss is so much more personal. i saw him practically everyday of my life. and it just sucks. I know this is alot for anyone to hear, so im sorry if i am saying too much. thank you for expressing yourself and sharing your words
im so sorry for your lose. and when you say i wished my dad could walk me down the isle i know what you mean. i lost my dad january 14 of this year of brain cancer even though i knew what mine was dieing of it doesn’t make i any easier. i to became very distant and thought about killing myself at several times. and like yours my dad was a big teddy bear and my best friend. with alot of the stuff you said i am going through as well not trying to make it seem like im talking all about me im just trying to share my story
i find it easier when i find people who know what im going through. and i haven’t had alot but not alot of people have lost a dad and a dad is such a big part of a girls life and him not being there to walk you down the isle or the father daughter dance is a big one
even at family weddings i never got to dance with my dad and that is the one first that im not looking forward to facing and i know your not either.
your story really touched close to my heart because its everything im feeling and it touched really close to home
im glad you shared your story its one people need to hear but at the same time one people just don’t get.
thank you! and i hope everything will go smoothly
Hi, i’m sorry for your loss. I’m 15 years old and my dad died in a car accident last month, I know what you’re going through. He was just 38. I also lost one of my friends 6 months ago in a car accident. She was just 14, i had known her all my life. How do you cope? 🙁
Courtney, I am very sorry for your loss, we have to hold on to our memories we had with our dads, it’s okay to cry and to feel angry, Having freinds and family support is the best way to cope treasure each moment and always think of happy thing you had shared with your dad. Be firstname.lastname@example.org
My mother was my only parent, separated from my father after two years of having me,she was all of 21 then. she struggled after her divorce, got back on her feet, became a doctor. She gave me the best of everything. I became her world and she became mine. Although i had to stay apart from her owing to her studies. but in the end it was all worth it. I never missed my father except at the school functions where my classmates were always accompanied by both parents. And my mother never got married again and would always reasoned her this decision saying ” i may get a good husband, but will he be n a good father to my daughter”?. In a Few years everything fell in place, my education, her job, a descent house, car, savings etc..we were happy and were about to move to the U.S. in a moth.
While sleeping with her on that morning all cuddled up, for the first time it felt different. i had a strange feeling of losing her. i suddenly kissed her in the nook of her neck and left for work.
In the evening i was with a group of friends at pizza hut . I get a call from my cousin asking me where my mom was? i said “she must be at home”. to which he said no she is’nt and she met with an accident and that i should go home…i fainted on hearing that and the my friends took me home…..three hours and a hundred phone calls later the same cousin tells me that she’s no more and booooommmmm my world collapsed and i went numb ….the first thought after was ” why my mother”? Why only 20 yrs with her? Why me?
my father passed away out of colon cancer in Nov 09. He was the healthiest man i’ve ever known. But it had to be him. I received a call from my aunt, saying dad is ill and it’s adviceable to come home. Drove back the same night and reached within 3hrs. When I went to the hospital, his doctor confirmed that there’s nothing else can be done and his systems are shutting down! “systems are shutting down????” I just stood there, looking at the doctor and my whole world seem to be going down the drain. Tears were just flowing. I had my husband there, saying something, comforting me but nothing seem to comfort me at that point of time. reached out my mobile, and i had to infrm my sister on this. Told her to come home. But i didnt know how to say anything to her… CAlled her and all i could do was cry….my husband took over and spoke to her. Wiped away all my tears and went back to my dad. sat beside him and hold his hands. His eyes were just closed ( he was sleeping at that time ). and they transfered him to a different ward. followed him throughout. Never went away even for a minute after that. My sister came back. everyone just kept asking the both of us to whisper in his ears, that it is okay to leave.. How can I ever do that ??? I do not want him to leave!! it’s ok if he’s sick. i can just sit there and tcare of him. but they just kept asking us to do it as he was still holding on. I had to. And I did it. BUt not my sister. she just nvr wanted to leave him. finally we made her whisper to him.
He left us few hours after that ? I was holding his hands tight. as tight as i never held anyone before. but he went off…. my precious father..i never allowed anyone pulled me away, but they just pulled me away and all I could do was Cry…
my dad died suddenly of a heart attack in october. Everyone around me seems to be getting on with every day life but i just cant get over it. i have pain in my heart every day and it wont go it just gets worse.
My dad suddenly passed away on January 9th, 2011. He was 53 years old and just as you mentioned, how can they be here one day and then the next they’re not…. I still feel numb from the entire situation and angry and anxious… I lost my mother as well when I was 10 and to be 28 years old and to have buried both of my parents seems more painful than I ever could imagine. My heart is broken…. My dad and I talked every day, I called him from work, we hung out together, went to concerts together, he was best guy… I spoke to him just a few hours before he died, I just don’t understand… I feel how you do, I want him to walk me down the aisle, I want to call him and have him give me advice, and laugh with me about something funny again…
Im 28, i lost my dad 12 years ago just after my 16th birthday and to be honest I have always coped with it pretty well until now. Im refusing to get married as my dad cant walk me down the aisle, I refuse to change my surname or let any children we have take my partners name as im adamant my dad should live on. I know this sounds crazy and im aware im being unreasonable but I canyt accept he’s gone. i want him to hold me and tell me everything will be ok but he cant. Why doesnt anyone tell you it gets harder not easier??
miss mac I so get you, I just lost my dad he was 50 when I was 20 last year and I dont ever want to get married and def not change my surname I always think it but it seems weird to say it. I’m glad to see this because nobody around me understands and here I see lots of people who are in similar situations, it would be nice to talk!
i’ve just lost my dad. it’s so hard. i’ve never felt worse and i still don’t think its sunk in yet. most days i feel like i cant do this. other days i want to hurt everyone so someone else will feel the pain. most of the time i just hurt myself. this is so hard!
Wow….I lost my dad January 17, 2011 and the pain that came with this loss is unspeakable. I know death is everywhere but I always felt alone. He died in bed next to my mom, only 52yrs. Working in the medical field I’m feeling a huge guilt b/c I couldn’t save him. My mom and I did everything we could but he was gone before EMT got to the house. He always said “the good die young”. I’m getting married this summer and the thought of walking down the aisle without my dad makes me scared!! It makes me wonder why am I even gonna go through with this if Im just gonna lose this person in the end cuz everyone dies! I hate looking at my mom and watching her cry. I hate going to her house and seeing pictures of my dad. I can’t take it when ppl are always asking me how I am and if theres anything they could do just ask. People that didn’t give a crap before showed up at the wake and funeral but then dissappeared as soon as they were over. I just can’t stand the fakeness I saw in people when my dad died. It makes me so angry, I forgot what it was like to be happy and smile. I’m always in a fog at work and I’m starting to take a lot of my angry out on people that don’t deserve it, which is not ok at all.
hi….i list my dad just when i was 2 about to turn 3 years old…i’ve always wandered how it feels to have a dad to support you and to help you….now i cry all the time i think about him or a see a daughter and her dad being happy…..sometimes i get mad too because my mom doesnt want to tell me what caused his death…
I just lost my father three weeks ago today on February 18th, 2011. I was completely sudden and unexpected. He was fine, so he said. Everyone said he looked fine. Then that horrible night, he went to sleep and woke up screaming for my mother & brother that he was in tremendous pain. He grabbed his shoulder and lower back and just collapsed onto his bed and stopped breathing. My mother tried to revive him while my brother called 911 and me. I’m married and do not live them so I wasn’t there when it happened. It was too late. He had a massive cardiac arrest. It happened just that fast. My family and I are completely DEVASTATED! We miss him so much and cry every single day. My mother taking this so hard that I feel so bad for her too. I have to be the strong one because I have to handle everything but it’s hard. I breakdown every single night with my husband at my side. Right now, it feels like we are never going to get through this. Not only did we lose my dad, but it was completely unexpected. How do you get through this?
I am grateful that he was able to walk me down the aisle at my wedding…..I just got married last August. But now he wont see any grandchildren and for them to call him Nonno. And he absolutely loved kids. He had the patience to joke and play with them.
This is the hardest thing I ever had to go through in my entire life. Our family just fell apart. He was here one day and gone the next. I never had a chance to say goodbye. That’s what breaks all our hearts the most.
Josephine, I too lost my dad on 02/18/2011 to either a stroke or massive heart attack that cause him to go into cardiac arrest while sleeping. It’s so hard and sad he left on vacation that same day with my mom and sister. He’s on his permanent vacation now but I miss him soo much. I was house sitting for them. And my little sister, who turned 17 that following weekend, called to tell me something had happened and it did not look good. They were almost 4 hours away. I felt so angry, lost, an alone. My boyfriend was with me we both were in shock. I miss him soo much my heart hurts and my soul cries out for his hug and tender smile.
My email is email@example.com
I’m so sorry to hear of all your loss. I lost my dad on feb. 10 2011, and I feel so lost. My dad had survived cancer to die of a massive heart attack. He went so quick too. One minute he was up talking to me and my mom, then we all went to bed, and the next thing he was unconscious on the floor face down. I tried to turn him over to give CPR, which I’m trained, but he was too heavy (260 lbs, 6 feet). I heard his last gurgle before he passed. Now I can’t stop thinking about it, or him dying. I want my daddy back, 62 is too young to die (I’m 21). It kills me to know he’s not going to walk me down the aisle ever, or see any future grandchildren( would’ve been his firsts). I know he’d want me to relax and move on, but I can’t. My dad and I were extremely close, and now it feels like my hearts been ripped out through my chest. It doesn’t help that 2 weeks later I was in a car wreck that totaled me car, and we almost lost my families dog to a vets medical mistake that caused her liver to spike…. I feel so lost right now, will this get better?
I am anow a woman of 56 and lost my dad when i was 25and pegnant with my first chid and to this day I have wishes like he could have seen all my kids an now my grandson some days its easier than others look to those who love you talk to those who have shared experiences and remember those who love your mom love you too
i am very sorry for yall’s loss. i have not lost a parent yet but i have lost 2 very, very close friends of mine. i just want to say that even though it feels like darkness is everywhere for even the fantest light is enough to like the way. there is on’y one thing that i have found to help me get over the feeling of lonliness and that is to keep you mind busy. now im not saying hide your emotions, or push away your feelsing towards the person that you have just lost. i am mearly say to keep your mind busy. you have memories, make new ones. draw a picture of what you think your loss is looking at. write them a letter and put it in a bottle and throw in the sea. something that the two of you would do. instead of thinking that they are gone, which they never truly leave the ones they love, think of their spirit is there doing activities with you. so please, the next time you feel lost and alone remember they ARE with you!
My dad passed away on June 2nd. I am 20 years old, daddy’s girl. I am studying in Spain this summer and had only arrived a week earlier when my mom called to inform me that Dad’s health had declined and he was back in the hospital. I thought he was on the upswing before I left. My mom knew he only had a few weeks. A day later, my mom called again to tell me he had slipped into a coma and shortly after that he passed away. He had a two year battle with head and neck cancer. It was most certainly caused by a lifelong smoking habit (something both of my parents were in denial about).
Since I was 3,000 miles away from home and at the beginning of a 10 week study abroad program, I forced myself to “get over it.” But really I just made myself super busy and pretended to be strong and graceful. Everyone asked me how I was managing being so far from home and family and I just wanted to scream at them that I wasn’t managing! I was pretending! Now that I only have 10 days till I go home, the reality of my dad’s death is hitting me. It’s all I think about. I am angry at the doctors for encouraging my dad to have a surgery that his body couldn’t handle. I am angry at both of my parents for being smokers. I am angry at people who have fathers. I am angry at people who just don’t get it. I feel empty and hopeless. My dad did EVERYTHING for my family. He wasn’t the breadwinner but he was basically Mr. Mom and a Jack-of-all-trades. We’re realizing now just how dependent we were on my dad for everything because now, we (including my mom and brothers) don’t know how to take care of our house and cars, etc. We don’t know where things are located. My dad paid all the bills. He cooked and cleaned. I just feel so cheated. I didn’t get enough time. He called me his best friend and had the song we were going to dance to at my wedding picked out since I was a little girl. I just don’t understand how he can’t be here anymore. I don’t get it.
Hi, I too have lost my father.. and it’s going to be four years this july 9th… I’m only 22, and I wasn’t ready for this.. I’m still in grieving.. I used to never get along with my dad.. Or so I kept it in my head that way.. He made the mistake in life of cheating on my mom.. I always told myself I hated him.. that a father would never hurt his kids and or wife like this.. I mean if you say you love us, you wouldn’t break us.. So anyways.. I guess you can say I always tried my best to keep myself from him.. I blamed him for alot of anger I had in me.. I used to get into alot of trouble, and idk I guess you can say I was a real bad kid.. But the day he passed on, I just totally broke.. I’m still broken. Now instead of being able to hate him and not care.. all I do is think how could I not love him he was my dad.. I woke up to my sister screaming, and found him so cold.. so blue.. and I couldn’t even help him.. I didn’t know what to do.. The EMT’s said they got a heartbeat back, and they ran him to the near by hospital.. Finally the doctors come out and say it was just too late.. He had been gone too long without oxygen to the brain, and that they were sorry.. I hate myself too this ever day.. because maybe I could have saved him if I wasn’t a loser sleeping in.. and cause never told my dad how much I loved him.. or how I think I was such a bad kid cause I wanted attention.. his attention.. being yelled at was better then having nothing.. but I now I see that I could have let him be there for me.. so it hurts me.. My dad died from a heart attack.. and I remember the night before him saying he had heart burn from the food he had eaten.. sausage and peppers.. which mind you no one in my family will make anymore just because they know how much just seeing them hurts.. a year after that I tried to take my life.. My mother was ill and I was just so scared.. I didn’t want to be with out her too.. or alone.. even though I already thought I was, because I was just so depressed.. I was lucky they say to be alive.. that an angel must be watching over me.. god wanted me to live.. after that I went and got some help.. And it worked for a little while talking about it.. and him.. So not long after that I went back to adult school to finish my senor year up, and finally graduted.. and it sucked being up there cause I knew I wouldn’t look out and see him.. If there was one thing my father did for me was fight with me to finish school.. He wanted that the most for me.. So I did that just for him…a year ago I was working in a Good Will and a man walked passed me.. and I just started to cry like it were a chemical reaction of some sort.. it didn’t hit me at first but the man simply smelled like my father.. that old mens cologne.. I said to myself it feels like forever since I had to smell that nasty smell.. but I loved it.. cause it brought me back to him.. and his mememory.. I don’t know how to deal with these things I feel to this dad.. and everything that is bad that happens.. feels like it’s only happening to me.. but it isn’t.. you guys are in the same messy boat I’m in.. I just want my dad back.. and I know I’ll never get that.. I just wish I knew how to deal.
memeory* and day*
just like the rest of you guys.. I’m cheated out of having a best friend, a father.. my brother and sister are lucky all their kids got to meet their pop pop.. when I have kids they will never know.. and idk me and my boyfriend talk about being married someday.. and I’m scared cause when he does ask.. I know I’m only going to worry about how he won’t be there to give me away.. or have our dance.. like my sister got to have.. I feel like everyone got to know him but me.. I could write forever how sad I am.. but I guess I should be going..
I’m so sorry for the loss you all experienced. I felt your pain. I lost my dad on 26th of December 2011. He fell at home and his thigh bone broke, second day we had him into hospital and third day he was gone during the operation. An operation that usually takes a 20-30 minutes but a clot had his both lungs shut down and he died in the first 10 minutes of the operation.
The sad thing is that I used to go to my parents’ bed room to check on them if they were still breathing, they are my life and I’ve been always fearing of loosing them but during these last three days of his life it did not occur to me that he’d be gone otherwise we’d have talked to him and kissed him. I can’t get over it and don’t think I will. I’m not young i’m 35 and my life was not easy especially the last year and I was quite far from him during the couple of months and i feel so bad not telling him how much i love him. now that he’s gone i can’t live without him. i go to his bed every night and talk to him on the hope i’d dream of him and have any kind of connection. my sister dreamed of me and dad sitting next to each other putting my head on his shoulder and he kissed my forehead and it made me feel his love. i quit my job, i’m not going out , can’t sleep at night and when i finally sleep at 5 or 6am i woke up late feeling as if there is a huge boulder on my chest. I hate answering phones because people keep asking me how are you doing now! what a question and i hate sounding vulnerable to others but truth is i’m so broken even though when he was here, i was self dependent and hardly depended on anyone but he left a huge gap.
I lost my dad on March 2, 2012 a week ago tonight, my dad was so healthy at only 50. He had a sudden an unexpected heart attack, I don’t understand why still but he was doing everything possible to be healthy. He would run an hour on the treadmill every night and was eating right and he was 190 and six feet tall. I still am so confused to why he died. I am fifteen, my birthday is in three days, I wish he was here to celebrate my sweet sixteen. I really want my dad to come home but I know that’s not possible. I am coping pretty well though, he is still so alive in my heart and I have extremely supportive friends and family. I want to say much more but I can’t I am so sad, my dad would still be alive for 45 more minutes one week ago. If he had told us he wasn’t feeling well, we might have been able to get him to the hospital and save him. Why god? Why my dad? Why so young? Is he happy in heaven? Can he hear me telling him I love him?
I’am so sorry for your losses. I lost my dad suddenly on 3rd March 2012.He was the healthiest person i knew. He went to bed on friday and did not wake up on saturday. He was 65 and Iam 36. I am devastated and shattered. I have always been daddy’s princess. I recently went back to work but cannot accomplish a task coz all i do is cry all the time.
Post moterm results indicated that he died of renal failure due by bilateral cystic tumours.
I feel that i love him more now that he is gone.
God you are the only one who can heal my broken heart, Keep my father safe till we meet in eternity.
Post moterm results
My dad was diagnosed with Early onset Alzheimer’s and dementia, 2 years ago, although we all knew something was wrong before this. He is still with us but dosen’t remember anything. In a sense, he’s already gone. Who are we without our life experiences, our memories, our hard earned life long knowledge? I pray god will take him soon, as the constant losing of more and more of his bodily functions and mind is awful, for him and us. God bless all of you. I wish my dad could walk me down the aisle too.
I just recently lost my dad. He was really athletic, handsome, fit, healthy, upbeat, happy and fun. He was turning 67. He came back from a cardiologist’s appointment and the doctors all said his heart looked great. He was so happy, so relieved, so thrilled about his lab results. He wanted to celebrate with me the next week for his birthday. The next morning I walked by him and he seemed fine, he was talking on the phone with his friends. He cooked me lunch and ate a chicken sandwich. Everything was normal and he said he was going to the library in the afternoon. Then he told me “hey, my chest hurts” and then suddenly he died. Out of the blue. Just like that. No warning at all. The paramedics, ER docs, heart surgeons… no one could do anything. What the hell! I’m so shocked.
I turned 18 on September 21st. My dad died in the early hours of the next morning. I had left the day of my birthday to go to a party my fiance’s parents were throwing for me. The last words my dad and i exchanged were “I love you”s. when i came home that night, he was already in bed asleep. i thought his snoring sounded bad (he has sleep apnea and high blood pressure) and i felt like i shouldve woke him up, but instead i just let him sleep. i know its not my fault. but my dad was only 46 and he shouldnt have left so young. i’m still trying to accept the fact that he’s gone but it’s so hard because my dad and i went through a very hard time together after my mom left us. i helped him get through an alcohol addiction and he was there for me when my mom wasnt paying child support and drinking. i just miss him so much. all i can ever think about is how much i want my dad back.
I lost my dad not too long ago and I’m 14. He was working in SC for like half a year and then we decided to move there from TX. So he met us at our house and he wasn’t really quite himself, I was sooo happy to see him and as soon as he walked through that door I hugged him for like 10 straight minutes. We were finally reunited! So we were moving and had to stop at a hotel and he was so hooked over the fact that we HAD to stay at a La Quinta (oddly enough that was the first hotel he and my mom stayed at together). So we went to sleep that night and he started make weird gurgling noises and both me and my mom heard it. So we went on his side of the bed and his face was purple. That was the last night I saw and talked to my dad. We were in the middle of no where basically, somewhere in MS. I miss him so much I wanna scream when we are at family events that he should be at. Sometimes I just think of him and think that he’d be laughing and having a great time at these events and I can actually hear his laugh. While I was writing this all I was crying so hard. So that’s my story about my dad.