Have you ever wondered why the good die young?
I think about that all the time. It was a perfect Saturday. The couple went to the Bronx, walked around laughing and reminiscing. They went home watched a movie with their kids, but he couldn’t fall asleep. His chest was hurting, he didn’t feel well. Suddenly, he wasn’t breathing.
That great man was my dad. How could a perfectly healthy man just suddenly not be there when you get home from school? The thought of what happened that night is always in my head.
I wonder if dying hurts. Was there light? What was his last word?
Death is a part of life and sometimes it hurts to say goodbye when you had a great relationship with someone.
Months passed by and the feeling of loneliness and anger was taking over my body. I turned away from my family and friends and started harming my body. I never thought this was going to happen to me. It still seems so unreal and different that the big teddy bear I loved to cuddle with isn’t there anymore.
It’s hard to tell people that I don’t have a dad anymore, or to talk about him in front my friends. It’s great that I have a great family for support and friends, but sometimes you just want your dad.
I want my dad to walk me down the aisle. I want to call him from work. I want to eat ice cream with him. I want to ride in his truck and talk about the economy and history. I want everything I shared with my dad back. If I had one wish in the entire world, it would be to have him back.
Michelle Gallucci 2010Tags: anger, belongings, funerals, money, Depression, guilt, signs and connections