Loss of a Family Member

After Loss of a spouse

Find hope and support by reading, listening and watching stories of spouse loss and recovery.

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Articles

  • 25 Years After September 11th: What I Learned About Grief, Families, and Hope

    Posted on September 7, 2026 - by Heidi Horsley

    Twenty-five years after September 11th, I continue to think about the families I came to know through my work with the FDNY–Columbia University Family Guidance Program. I worked closely with families who lost a firefighter in the World Trade Center attacks. I remain in touch with some of these families today, which has allowed me to witness how grief, resilience, and hope continue to evolve over time. Some of the children I once knew have grown into adults and even followed in their parents’ footsteps by becoming firefighters themselves. One of the most important things I learned is that grief […]

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  • New York City: 25 Years of Healing and Hope

    Posted on September 1, 2026 - by Heidi Horsley

    Over the past 25 years, I have watched New York City carry unimaginable loss while continuing to grow, rebuild, and find hope. What stays with me most is how people came together. Families, first responders, neighbors, volunteers, and strangers supported one another in extraordinary ways. In the midst of grief, there was also an incredible sense of connection and community. As the years passed, I watched the city change. Lower Manhattan came back to life. New buildings rose, families grew, and children like mine came of age in a city forever shaped by 9/11. The 9/11 Memorial and Museum became […]

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  • Good Husband, Good Father

    Posted on August 18, 2026 - by Bill Beckett

    Before Bonnie’s death, I had never thought of myself as a caregiver. Husband, father, provider—yes. I used to tell Bonnie that what I wanted on my tombstone was: Good husband, good father. If I had accomplished that, I would be proud of the life I lived. I never imagined I’d make a very good caregiver. Not because I didn’t love Bonnie—quite the opposite. I simply didn’t see myself in that role. Nurses and doctors had gifts I didn’t believe I possessed. But love has a way of unlocking capabilities we never knew we had. When the woman I loved needed […]

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  • The Healing Power of a Grief Letter

    Posted on August 4, 2026 - by Shari

    Dear Family, There were so many things we didn’t get to do, and our time together was cut short. Physical and mental ailments prevented us from living out all the plans we made, but we still made the most of our time together. Y’all beat the odds and lived longer than anyone expected for people in your condition. God didn’t answer my prayers to take away the sicknesses, but He granted me favor through temporary healings and the blessing of extended time. You slowly slipped away. Year by year, month by month, and day by day, until I was somehow […]

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  •  The “Phantom Limb” of the Soul

    Posted on July 28, 2026 - by Bill Beckett

    It is a well-documented phenomenon: a person loses a limb, yet they can still feel it. The brain continues to fire signals to a hand or a leg that is no longer there. They reach for objects with fingers that do not exist or try to stand on a foot that has been gone for years. The nerves are firing based on a map of the body that has not been updated. When I lost my wife, Bonnie, six years ago, I discovered that grief creates its own version of a phantom limb. Except, I did not just lose a […]

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  • Who Is Your Hero?  How Has Your Hero Influenced Your Life?

    Posted on May 12, 2026 - by Nan Zastrow

    “ I believe that our heroes in life change over time based on our values and maturity. We don’t cling to those who impressed us with their status. Instead, we align our vision with those who are authentic, reliable, and role models. However,  there may also be the unlikely, unclaimed hero who changes our life and  lives in our heart forever.” (Nan Zastrow)  A  year ago, in a support group meeting,  I shared the story of how the ®Wings organization began…in Memory after the death of our son, Chad. After the group, a man who was present came forward and […]

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  • Dropping the Ball Again This Year? 3 Easy Intentions for Bouncing Back

    Posted on March 31, 2026 - by Nan Zastrow

    “ I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all last year.” Bouncing back after a significant loss is not only daunting but often shatters one’s self-confidence. I wanted to prove to myself that my grief was not going to control me and force me to surrender just because certain tasks were tedious and the work was hard. Since my husband’s death, I began to question my desire to handle all the maintenance tasks and other things “we “used to do. So, I didn’t plant flower pots overflowing with […]

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  • A Lighthearted Valentine Evolved Into a Lasting Commitment. A commitment in life and in death.

    Posted on February 14, 2026 - by Nan Zastrow

    ““ Success in marriage is more than finding the right person. It’s becoming the right person.” Many of us had those “puppy love crushes” in our teenage years with no expectation of it leading to the altar. I purchased a cute Valentine’s Day card for a “guy” I was dating on-again, off-again. There was no intention in mind other than to get his attention with a bit of lighthearted humor. For all I knew, he could have promptly discarded the greeting card. On the front of the valentine was a picture of a sad, droopy hound dog  and the words: […]

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  • CHANGE: IT’S INEVITABLE

    Posted on November 4, 2025 - by Barbara Ann Fields

    When we are children growing up, it usually never enters our mind that anything, or anybody in our lives will ever change. We envision our parents as being with us always. Our grandparents are a delight and we certainly can’t imagine our lives disconnected from them. Without a doubt, in our innocent thinking, we will sail into the beautiful sunset with all of our siblings. What a devastating wake-up call to find out that people die, that our lives forever change when the people we love the most go by way of the grave. When we lost extended and distant […]

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  • Fingerprints: Losing a Husband, Living with Grief

    Posted on June 30, 2025 - by Kim Shute

    Losing a Husband When he used to take off his socks next to our bed and throw them ceremoniously to the cork floor, he would spread the fingers of his chubby peasant hands on the wall of our bedroom to keep his balance before rocketing into bed beside me. It took at least three years to have a finished wall in that bedroom. Seeing his greasy fingerprints all over my carefully chosen hue of green with a matte finish made me grouchy. Now, I recline with four pillows surrounding me as I look at his fingerprints, which are almost all […]

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  • Living and Dying Together

    Posted on June 30, 2025 - by John Wenderlein

    Rosita and David Actions better explain love, as love is an action word. It requires a series of give and takes between a man and a woman to fulfill just a short 60,70 years on this earth together. I want to share a love story that I encountered during my time as a Hospice Chaplain years ago. Rosita and David had come from entirely different lives. Rosie, as she would have me call her, came from a very conservative, extreme spiritual family in Argentina. Her father was a lawyer and her mother a teacher. And David was born and raised […]

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  • Young Widow Can Imagine Not Marrying Again

    Posted on June 25, 2025 - by Catherine Tidd

    Young Widow Can Imagine Not Marrying Again Ahhh, dating.  Sooner or later this becomes every widow’s favorite topic with other widows.  And there is a very good reason for this: Because we feel like it’s unacceptable to talk about it outside of the herd. But I can guarantee you that, for most widows, it’s one of the first things we think about after our husbands die.  I don’t mean that in a bad way.  It’s human nature to wonder what comes next.  And for those of us who suddenly find ourselves involuntarily single, we want to know:  Am I supposed […]

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  • Moving after Loss: The Grief of Leaving the Home You Love

    Posted on May 27, 2025 - by Harriet Hodgson

    Moving after Loss Moving is one of the most stressful experiences of life. My husband and I have moved so many times we’ve lost count and we’re good at moving. We’ve lived in our present house for 20 years, the longest time we’ve lived anywhere, and made the house our own. This house has nurtured us through some tough times and now we must move. In the fall, my husband’s aorta dissected for the second time. He had three emergency surgeries, including a 13-hour operation to graft a Dacron descending aorta to his existing aorta. It was life-threatening surgery. His […]

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  • What a New Widow Should Know to Survive

    Posted on May 17, 2025 - by Linda Della-Donna

    When you suddenly find yourself without your life partner, you don’t know what to expect. Your world’s been turned upside down. Like the mighty oak caught in a fierce wind, you feel uprooted. Your feet don’t touch the ground. You think you’re crazy. But you’re not. You’re just a new widow. Your husband is dead and your life is forever changed.

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  • Finding Joy While Grieving: Carrying the Tiger

    Posted on April 28, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    Finding Joy While Grieving Recently, a grief counselor told me something disturbing. He had been describing my new memoir, Carrying the Tiger: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy while Grieving, to one of his support groups. When he reached the point where I began to form a new relationship just a few months after the death of my beloved wife, several of the women stopped listening. “Women grieve, men replace,” one said dismissively, and the others nodded in agreement. They assumed that my actions suggested emotional abandonment, or perhaps a kind of infidelity, both of which they found […]

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  • New Love and Memories After the Death of My Wife

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    New Love After the Death of My Wife Monday, September 27, 2021 We consolidated Lynn’s clothes into a closet and a bureau, unearthed her beautiful scarves and handbags, and put them in a couple of baskets in the living room. We went through her family photos, collected her sketchbooks into one pile, and flipped through years of drawings. The whole process was immensely sad. Every day brought dozens of touchstones of our shared life: photos that I examined, perfumes that I sniffed, and handwritten notes that I read until I couldn’t bear to read further. I was sad from morning […]

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  • Picking Up the Pieces after the Death of My Wife

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    Picking Up the Pieces First comes denial. I tell myself that because Lynn and I got to say all those goodbyes, because she knew how much I loved her, because we had no regrets about our choices, my grief should be shallower or shorter than most. In post after post, I emphasize the positives—as when, just two days after she died, I describe riding around Central Park looking forward to my life ahead. But really, I am in shock, as when your body and mind conspire to shield you from the pain of an accident. For more than six years, […]

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  • Watching My Wife Die: Carrying the Tiger

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    Watching My Wife Die “Sometimes you have to say enough is enough.” It is late afternoon. Lynn and I are in the living room, she in her wheelchair, me in a folding chair in front of her. There is one light on, leaving most of the room in shadow. Dr. Hellman speaks calmly, gently. “If you go back to the hospital now, you will probably never come out,” he says. “The radiation may slow it a little, but there’s just too much cancer. We’re not going to beat it, and the treatments will make you even weaker. If there’s ever […]

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  • The Shock of Spouse Loss: Carrying the Tiger

    Posted on April 21, 2025 - by Tony Stewart

    The Shock of Spouse Loss Sunday, September 28, 2014 It’s an unseasonably warm Sunday in late September. I am working at my computer while my wife, Lynn, lies on our bed across the hall, sketching our elderly cat, Jack. She’s spent a lot of time like that these past two months, feeling increasingly crummy for some reason the doctors can’t figure out. It began as chronic indigestion, then acid reflux, and recently bouts of diarrhea. She’s stopped enjoying her meals and is losing a lot of weight. Her doctors have given her every kind of scope and scan they can […]

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  • Widow Wonders Whether New Partner is Stuck in Grief

    Posted on February 26, 2025 - by Marty Tousley

    Is My New Partner Stuck in Grief? Question from reader: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death.  He has been doing this for five years.  We have been dating for four-and-a half-years.  My husband died suddenly of a heart attack just a month after my companion’s wife died following a two-year battle with colon cancer.  At this point, I’m not sure how I am tolerating these very public displays of grief. Would you be willing to […]

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  • Valentine’s Day Rituals to Awaken Memories

    Posted on February 7, 2025 - by Nan Zastrow

    Valentine’s Day Rituals to Awaken Memories Ponder the Vows you made to each other. Every “love” adventure steps into the great unknown . Your vows challenge you to work through life together. Celebrate the adversity you overcame as you weathered the storms of life. Be grateful for the milestones you accomplished together. As a Valentine’s Day ritual, acknowledge your journey—the trials and the triumphs! Make a List of your Happiest Times Together. Review it every time sadness overwhelms you and threatens you into despair. Use the list to ignite the flame of love and connection. It’s a promise that heals […]

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    Valentine’s Day Memories

    Posted on February 7, 2025 - by Nan Zastrow

    Valentine’s Day Memories “Random memories tell the stories of our lives…the difficult and joyous times that reveal who we are now, how far we’ve traveled, and who we’ve become because of our experiences.” Valentine’s Day dawned, and I awoke keenly aware that my first year without my husband was predestined to be an emotional one. It occurred just one month after his unexpected death.   I wouldn’t be creating any new memories. Gary’s absence filled the house, and the relenting ache of early grief was overwhelming.  I craved having just one more time. One more memory. Hearing his laughter and feeling […]

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  • Entering a New Relationship after Death of a Life Partner

    Posted on January 30, 2025 - by Vicki Panagotacos, PhD FT

    Entering a New Relationship One of the most charming questions I ever received in one of my second-year spousal-loss classes came from a middle-aged man named Sam. He said, “If I were to invite a woman over to dinner, how many framed pictures of my deceased wife would be too many?” His question was a good one. Sam, like most people who have lost a mate, had increased the number of framed photos around his house so he could feel his late wife’s presence. I answered his question with one of my own: “If you went into a widow’s home, […]

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Open to Hope TV

  • Episode 264: Healing Hidden Wounds: Grief, Resilience, and the Power of Spirituality

    Posted on January 3, 2026 - by admin

    How can embracing hope and spirituality support the grieving process?  Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter, Dr. Heidi Horsley for an open and heartfelt conversation with their guest, Dr. Eric Brewer.  Eric is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Transform Church Ministries.  He is a covid widower, and author of From Grief To Growth; A 31 Day Journey Of Healing And Renewal Through Love And Loss.  Dr. Brewer founded and leads a national weekly support group for Black widowers.  His Doctoral dissertation was on; Healing Hidden Wounds: The Resilience of Black Men and the impact of their […]

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  • Episode 263: Life After “Us”: Surviving the Loss of a Spouse

    Posted on December 23, 2025 - by admin

    How do men navigate manhood without their dads? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter, Dr. Heidi Horsley for a candid conversation about spouse loss with their guest Dr. Eric Brewer. Dr. Eric Brewer is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Transform Church Ministries. He is a widower and author of From Grief To Growth; A 31 Day Journey Of Healing And Renewal Through Love And Loss. Dr. Brewer founded and leads a national weekly support group for Black widowers. His Doctoral dissertation was on; Healing Hidden Wounds: The Resilience of Black Men and the impact of their […]

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  • Episode 252: Transforming Loss Through Purpose and Meaning

    Posted on October 5, 2025 - by admin

    How do we transform our loss through purpose and meaning?  Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley with their guests Dana Lerner, Georgia Lavey, and Casey Mulligan Walsh to discuss finding purpose and meaning after a loss. Dana Lerner is a psychotherapist in NYC, and the founder of Cooper Stocks Way, and co-founder of Families for Safe Streets.  Georgia Lavey is a licensed clinical social worker, and the Clinical Program Director at Our House Grief Support Center in New York City, where she oversees the design and implementation of grief support programs. Casey Mulligan Walsh […]

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  • Episode 250: Grief and the Role of Faith

    Posted on October 3, 2025 - by admin

    When you have suffered a loss, what is the role of faith?  Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guests; Casey Mulligan Walsh, Dana Lerner, and Georgia Lavey as they discuss faith and the role it played or didn’t play after their losses.  Casey Mulligan is a the author of the award winning memoir;  The Full Catastrophe: All I Every Wanted, Everything I Feared, and has written for the NY Times, Modern Loss, and Huff Post.  Dana Lerner is a psychotherapist in NYC, and the founder of Cooper Stocks Way, and co-founder of […]

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  • Episode 240: What Grieving People Need to Know

    Posted on January 6, 2025 - by admin

    What would it be helpful for grieving people to know?  Join hosts Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley, with guests Joyal Mulheron, Dr. Eric Brewer, and Dr. Jill Harrington to candidly discuss what they wish they had known after their losses.  Joyal Mulheron is a Washington D.C. public policy expert, with more than 25 years of service to the Nation’s Governors and The White House.  Joyal has created Evermore; an organization dedicated to providing holistic bereavement care to children and families. Dr. Eric Brewer is the Founder and Senior Pastor of “Transform Church Global Ministries” and the […]

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