Find hope and support by reading, listening and watching stories of spouse loss and recovery.
The widowhood effect is the measurable rise in a surviving spouse’s own risk of dying in the months after their partner’s death. Here’s what the research shows, why it happens, and how to protect your health while you grieve.
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Sudden death of a spouse is one of the most disorienting experiences a human can survive. There is no preparation, no goodbye, no chance to say what mattered. Here are 9 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with the sudden death of a spouse and start finding your footing again.
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Five days after my husband’s death of cancer at the age of fifty-five, I stood in our master bathroom. To my right was our closet, stuffed with my clothes and Jason’s—ties he’d barely worn in years since his company got more casual, wrinkle-free button-downs and khakis, t-shirts from concerts he’d attended, and F-1 racing fan gear. I walked past the vanity, spotting his razor and toothbrush. His towel was still hanging over the shower’s glass door. When I stepped into our room, I saw Jason’s shoes organized perfectly in the soft, compartmented contraption hanging off the bathroom door. Far less […]
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Twenty-five years after September 11th, I continue to think about the families I came to know through my work with the FDNY–Columbia University Family Guidance Program. I worked closely with families who lost a firefighter in the World Trade Center attacks. I remain in touch with some of these families today, which has allowed me to witness how grief, resilience, and hope continue to evolve over time. Some of the children I once knew have grown into adults and even followed in their parents’ footsteps by becoming firefighters themselves. One of the most important things I learned is that grief […]
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Over the past 25 years, I have watched New York City carry unimaginable loss while continuing to grow, rebuild, and find hope. What stays with me most is how people came together. Families, first responders, neighbors, volunteers, and strangers supported one another in extraordinary ways. In the midst of grief, there was also an incredible sense of connection and community. As the years passed, I watched the city change. Lower Manhattan came back to life. New buildings rose, families grew, and children like mine came of age in a city forever shaped by 9/11. The 9/11 Memorial and Museum became […]
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Before Bonnie’s death, I had never thought of myself as a caregiver. Husband, father, provider—yes. I used to tell Bonnie that what I wanted on my tombstone was: Good husband, good father. If I had accomplished that, I would be proud of the life I lived. I never imagined I’d make a very good caregiver. Not because I didn’t love Bonnie—quite the opposite. I simply didn’t see myself in that role. Nurses and doctors had gifts I didn’t believe I possessed. But love has a way of unlocking capabilities we never knew we had. When the woman I loved needed […]
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Dear Family, There were so many things we didn’t get to do, and our time together was cut short. Physical and mental ailments prevented us from living out all the plans we made, but we still made the most of our time together. Y’all beat the odds and lived longer than anyone expected for people in your condition. God didn’t answer my prayers to take away the sicknesses, but He granted me favor through temporary healings and the blessing of extended time. You slowly slipped away. Year by year, month by month, and day by day, until I was somehow […]
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It is a well-documented phenomenon: a person loses a limb, yet they can still feel it. The brain continues to fire signals to a hand or a leg that is no longer there. They reach for objects with fingers that do not exist or try to stand on a foot that has been gone for years. The nerves are firing based on a map of the body that has not been updated. When I lost my wife, Bonnie, six years ago, I discovered that grief creates its own version of a phantom limb. Except, I did not just lose a […]
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“ I believe that our heroes in life change over time based on our values and maturity. We don’t cling to those who impressed us with their status. Instead, we align our vision with those who are authentic, reliable, and role models. However, there may also be the unlikely, unclaimed hero who changes our life and lives in our heart forever.” (Nan Zastrow) A year ago, in a support group meeting, I shared the story of how the ®Wings organization began…in Memory after the death of our son, Chad. After the group, a man who was present came forward and […]
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“ I love it when they drop the ball in Times Square. It’s a nice reminder of what I did all last year.” Bouncing back after a significant loss is not only daunting but often shatters one’s self-confidence. I wanted to prove to myself that my grief was not going to control me and force me to surrender just because certain tasks were tedious and the work was hard. Since my husband’s death, I began to question my desire to handle all the maintenance tasks and other things “we “used to do. So, I didn’t plant flower pots overflowing with […]
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““ Success in marriage is more than finding the right person. It’s becoming the right person.” Many of us had those “puppy love crushes” in our teenage years with no expectation of it leading to the altar. I purchased a cute Valentine’s Day card for a “guy” I was dating on-again, off-again. There was no intention in mind other than to get his attention with a bit of lighthearted humor. For all I knew, he could have promptly discarded the greeting card. On the front of the valentine was a picture of a sad, droopy hound dog and the words: […]
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When we are children growing up, it usually never enters our mind that anything, or anybody in our lives will ever change. We envision our parents as being with us always. Our grandparents are a delight and we certainly can’t imagine our lives disconnected from them. Without a doubt, in our innocent thinking, we will sail into the beautiful sunset with all of our siblings. What a devastating wake-up call to find out that people die, that our lives forever change when the people we love the most go by way of the grave. When we lost extended and distant […]
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Losing a Husband When he used to take off his socks next to our bed and throw them ceremoniously to the cork floor, he would spread the fingers of his chubby peasant hands on the wall of our bedroom to keep his balance before rocketing into bed beside me. It took at least three years to have a finished wall in that bedroom. Seeing his greasy fingerprints all over my carefully chosen hue of green with a matte finish made me grouchy. Now, I recline with four pillows surrounding me as I look at his fingerprints, which are almost all […]
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Rosita and David Actions better explain love, as love is an action word. It requires a series of give and takes between a man and a woman to fulfill just a short 60,70 years on this earth together. I want to share a love story that I encountered during my time as a Hospice Chaplain years ago. Rosita and David had come from entirely different lives. Rosie, as she would have me call her, came from a very conservative, extreme spiritual family in Argentina. Her father was a lawyer and her mother a teacher. And David was born and raised […]
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Young Widow Can Imagine Not Marrying Again Ahhh, dating. Sooner or later this becomes every widow’s favorite topic with other widows. And there is a very good reason for this: Because we feel like it’s unacceptable to talk about it outside of the herd. But I can guarantee you that, for most widows, it’s one of the first things we think about after our husbands die. I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s human nature to wonder what comes next. And for those of us who suddenly find ourselves involuntarily single, we want to know: Am I supposed […]
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Moving after Loss Moving is one of the most stressful experiences of life. My husband and I have moved so many times we’ve lost count and we’re good at moving. We’ve lived in our present house for 20 years, the longest time we’ve lived anywhere, and made the house our own. This house has nurtured us through some tough times and now we must move. In the fall, my husband’s aorta dissected for the second time. He had three emergency surgeries, including a 13-hour operation to graft a Dacron descending aorta to his existing aorta. It was life-threatening surgery. His […]
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When you suddenly find yourself without your life partner, you don’t know what to expect. Your world’s been turned upside down. Like the mighty oak caught in a fierce wind, you feel uprooted. Your feet don’t touch the ground. You think you’re crazy. But you’re not. You’re just a new widow. Your husband is dead and your life is forever changed.
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Finding Joy While Grieving Recently, a grief counselor told me something disturbing. He had been describing my new memoir, Carrying the Tiger: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy while Grieving, to one of his support groups. When he reached the point where I began to form a new relationship just a few months after the death of my beloved wife, several of the women stopped listening. “Women grieve, men replace,” one said dismissively, and the others nodded in agreement. They assumed that my actions suggested emotional abandonment, or perhaps a kind of infidelity, both of which they found […]
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New Love After the Death of My Wife Monday, September 27, 2021 We consolidated Lynn’s clothes into a closet and a bureau, unearthed her beautiful scarves and handbags, and put them in a couple of baskets in the living room. We went through her family photos, collected her sketchbooks into one pile, and flipped through years of drawings. The whole process was immensely sad. Every day brought dozens of touchstones of our shared life: photos that I examined, perfumes that I sniffed, and handwritten notes that I read until I couldn’t bear to read further. I was sad from morning […]
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Picking Up the Pieces First comes denial. I tell myself that because Lynn and I got to say all those goodbyes, because she knew how much I loved her, because we had no regrets about our choices, my grief should be shallower or shorter than most. In post after post, I emphasize the positives—as when, just two days after she died, I describe riding around Central Park looking forward to my life ahead. But really, I am in shock, as when your body and mind conspire to shield you from the pain of an accident. For more than six years, […]
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Watching My Wife Die “Sometimes you have to say enough is enough.” It is late afternoon. Lynn and I are in the living room, she in her wheelchair, me in a folding chair in front of her. There is one light on, leaving most of the room in shadow. Dr. Hellman speaks calmly, gently. “If you go back to the hospital now, you will probably never come out,” he says. “The radiation may slow it a little, but there’s just too much cancer. We’re not going to beat it, and the treatments will make you even weaker. If there’s ever […]
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The Shock of Spouse Loss Sunday, September 28, 2014 It’s an unseasonably warm Sunday in late September. I am working at my computer while my wife, Lynn, lies on our bed across the hall, sketching our elderly cat, Jack. She’s spent a lot of time like that these past two months, feeling increasingly crummy for some reason the doctors can’t figure out. It began as chronic indigestion, then acid reflux, and recently bouts of diarrhea. She’s stopped enjoying her meals and is losing a lot of weight. Her doctors have given her every kind of scope and scan they can […]
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“A thoughtful, compelling, and deeply human novel.” -John O’Leary, bestselling author of On Fire and In Awe Grief opened the road. Love revealed the way. After the death of his only son shatters the life he once controlled, a fallen sports media executive follows a final message west, trading certainty for a road where grief becomes his guide. Each stranger he meets pulls him deeper into a sacred web of connection, culminating in an encounter with an enigmatic Cheyenne medicine woman who challenges everything he believes about loss and purpose. The Circles We Carry is a sweeping, luminous novel about how love does […]
The Price We Pay is a gentle, honest exploration of grief told through the lived experience of a support group — a place where vulnerability becomes connection, and connection becomes healing. Through my own story of loss, I invite readers to witness what it feels like to sit in a circle of people who are learning to breathe again after life has changed forever. Each chapter ends with tender, reflective questions designed to help readers pause, feel, and find language for what hurts. These questions aren’t instructions — they’re invitations. They create space for readers to meet their grief with […]
Carrying the Tiger: Living with Cancer, Dying with Grace, Finding Joy While Grieving Click here to learn more on the author’s website: Carrying the Tiger — Tony Stewart
On this show, Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley talk with Dr. Jill Greenbaum, a contemplative chaplain, coach, visual storyteller, and Appreciative Inquiry facilitator, about finding hope after loss. Dr. Greenbaum is trained in Buddhist chaplaincy, integrative thanatology, art-assisted grief therapy, and trauma-informed teaching. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/Jill-Greenbaum-The-Art-of-Living-with-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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In this episode of the Open to Hope Podcast, Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley welcome communication expert and researcher Allison M. Alford, PhD, author of Good Daughtering: The Work You’ve Always Done, the Credit You’ve Never Gotten, and How to Finally Feel Like Enough. Together, they explore the often unseen emotional labor of adult daughters, the pressure to meet impossible expectations, and how grief, caregiving, and family relationships can leave daughters questioning whether they’re doing enough. Dr. Alford shares practical insights on setting healthy boundaries, building emotional resilience, and redefining what it means to be a “good enough” […]
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Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley host Jennifer France as she discusses her experiences with afterlife communication following the death of her partner by suicide in 2019. She describes a significant change in her perspective regarding the afterlife, the Universe, and her sense of higher power. Jennifer France is also the author of Faith, Hope & Love: A Survivor’s Memoir. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/09/Jennifer-France_-A-Survivors-Journey-Through-Grief-and-Afterlife-Communication.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Looking for faith-based grief support? Join Drs Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Shirley Quiring Mozena. Shirley has been widowed twice and has spent 14 years walking alongside grieving families through Grief Share and other ministries. She is the author of Beyond Second Chances and Remembering Hannah. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Shirley-Quiring-Mozena_-Second-Chances-and-Sacred-Healing-A-Faith-Based-Path-Through-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Dr. Gloria, Dr. Heidi Horsley, and guest Saundra Neperud discuss innovative online grief support. Inspired by a sobriety app after her husband’s passing, Saundra collaborated with grief therapist Emily Danekas to create The Grief App for those dealing with loss. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/08/Saundra-Neperud_-Healing-in-Your-Hands-Innovative-Grief-Support-for-the-Digital-Age.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Losing a soul mate is devastating. Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley talk with Bill Beckett, who discusses his spiritual, physical, and emotional challenges after losing his wife to pancreatic cancer and his job due to ageism. He wrote The Empty Side of Our Bed: A Journey in Love, Loss and Moving Forward. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/07/Bill-Beckett_-The-Empty-Side-of-Our-Bed-Moving-Forward-After-the-loss-of-a-Soul-Mate.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley welcome Ginger Vigil—writer, artist, and mental health advocate—to discuss divorce, remarriage, and helping her partner after his wife’s death. Vigil wrote the memoir Somewhere Between You and Me: Finding Light in the Quiet Between Goodbye and Hello. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Ginger-Vigil_-Quiet-Between-Goodbye-and-Hello-Healing-After-Loss-and-Remarriage.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Need support with grief? Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley speak with Cristi Bundukamara, clinical nurse specialist, widow, and bereaved mother. Dr. Bundukamara shares how her experiences led to the Mentally Strong Method featured on her website and in her book, Pain & Purpose: My Journey to Mental Strength. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/Cristi-Bundukamara_-Pain-to-Purpose-Building-Mental-Strength-Through-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley talk with Jerry Danielsen, composer, producer, author, and podcast host, about widowhood. His book, “Dying to Live,” recounts his and his late wife Angela’s experience with terminal illness and the F-Cancer National Tour. The show concludes with his song, “We all will die someday.” https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/03/Jerry-Danielsen_-Dying-to-Live_-Love-Loss-and-Life-After-Widowhood.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Have you ever thought of travel as a coping mechanism? Join Dr. Heidi and Dr. Gloria Horsley and their guest Barry Hoffner, a lifelong traveler who after the death of his wife Jackie found healing in making a commitment to visiting 193 countries on earth. He is the author of “A Journey from Grief to Connection in Every Country on Earth.” https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Barry-Hoffner_-Around-the-World-in-193-Lessons-Coping-with-the-Death-of-a-Spouse.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Looking for online grief support? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley with guest Enya Flack, bereaved spouse and actress, as they discuss Infinity Garden—a customizable virtual memorial created by Tamark Berry for grieving families. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Enya-Flack_-A-Living-Tribute-Creating-Virtual-Gardens-of-Remembrance.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Seeking support after loss? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley with guest Dana Frost, who became a widow at 35 after being diagnosed with cancer at 28. Dana founded the Forced Joy Project and its online grief community, creates custom memorial books, and leads Widows in the Wild retreats. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Dana-Frost-Finding-Light-After-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Looking for a creative way to remember a loved one? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley with guest Ian McCartor, hospice nurse and certified grief counselor, as they discuss creative and counseling approaches to remembering loved ones through The Ash Rose Foundation, a nonprofit supporting grief management. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/12/Ian-McCartor_-Carrying-Their-Memory-Forward.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley interview Lauren Schneider, a leading expert in Child & Adolescent Grief who has directed the Children’s Programs at OUR HOUSE Grief Support Center for 23 years. Lauren co-produced the Emmy-winning HBO documentary “One Last Hug…and a few smooches” and its upcoming sequel. She also has a private practice in Los Angeles focused on grief and loss. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Lauren-Schneider_-Grief-Support-6Lw5WkuCMco.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you feeling overcome by grief? Join Dr’s Heidi and Gloria Horsley and their guest Dr. Mary-Francis O’Connor to learn about the physical nature of grief and ways that you can understand your body and learn ways to manage your responses. Dr. O’Connor is the author of The Grieving Brain and The Grieving Body: How the stress of loss can be an opportunity for healing. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Mary-Frances-OConnor_-Healing-Through-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you struggling with spouse loss? Join Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guest Dr. Connie Mariano White House Physician to three Presidents. Dr. Mariano lost her husband John in a tragic accident and through intense grief and sorrow has found extraordinary growth and re-birth. She is the author of “The White House Doctor” and host of Widow’s Walk. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/10/Dr.-Connie-Mariano_-The-Widows-Walk.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Struggling with change? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley with guest Dr. Katie Eastman for practical tools on resilience and personal growth after loss. Dr. Eastman is the author of Uplifting: Inspiring Stories of Loss, Change, and Growth and co-author of Percolate: Let Your Best Self Filter Through. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/07/Dr-Katie-Eastman-Transforming-Life-After-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Looking for an opportunity to express your grief? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Elizabeth Coplan playwright and author of Grief Dialogues: The Play and Grief Dialogues: The Experience for a timely conversation about death, dying and grief. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Elizabeth-Coplan-Conversations-on-Loss-and-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Are you looking for help to navigate your grief? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her daughter Rebecca Bara and their guest, widow Kate Mollison to learn about her unique approach to grief and bereavement. She is a widow, grief and bereavement coach and founder of On Tuesdays We wear Black. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/05/Kate-Mollison_-Widowhood-Tuesdays-We-Wear-Black.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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Carolann Iadarola received a BA in Media Communications and an M.Ed. in Instructional Technologies. She is the Creative Director and President of Sassy Townhouse Living, a lifestyle website collaborating with companies across the globe. Carolann is the creator and host of a YouTube channel called Ethereal Encounters Unveiled, where she collaborates with and interviews a wide range of authors and topics. She is also a member of and contributes live stream shows weekly to the United Public Radio Network And UFO Paranormal Radio Network – 105.3 on the Gulf Coast and 107.7 FM in New Orleans. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/Carolann-Iadarola_-Dating-After-Spouse-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window […]
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Are you feeling alone after a traumatic loss? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Melissa Red Hoffman, MD. Red is an acute care surgeon at Mission Hospital Asheville, NC and one of only 90 US surgeons board-certified in Hospice and Palliative Care. On this show she shares with us how she found meaning and hope after surviving two multiple violent deaths including the murder of her father and the suicide of her boyfriend. She is a podcaster, writer, researcher and leader in the field of Palliative Care. Be sure to catch her TED Talk. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/02/Melissa-Red-Hoffman_-Meaning-Making-After-Traumatic-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in […]
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How can embracing hope and spirituality support the grieving process? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter, Dr. Heidi Horsley for an open and heartfelt conversation with their guest, Dr. Eric Brewer. Eric is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Transform Church Ministries. He is a covid widower, and author of From Grief To Growth; A 31 Day Journey Of Healing And Renewal Through Love And Loss. Dr. Brewer founded and leads a national weekly support group for Black widowers. His Doctoral dissertation was on; Healing Hidden Wounds: The Resilience of Black Men and the impact of their […]
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How do men navigate manhood without their dads? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter, Dr. Heidi Horsley for a candid conversation about spouse loss with their guest Dr. Eric Brewer. Dr. Eric Brewer is the Founder and Senior Pastor of Transform Church Ministries. He is a widower and author of From Grief To Growth; A 31 Day Journey Of Healing And Renewal Through Love And Loss. Dr. Brewer founded and leads a national weekly support group for Black widowers. His Doctoral dissertation was on; Healing Hidden Wounds: The Resilience of Black Men and the impact of their […]
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How do we transform our loss through purpose and meaning? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley with their guests Dana Lerner, Georgia Lavey, and Casey Mulligan Walsh to discuss finding purpose and meaning after a loss. Dana Lerner is a psychotherapist in NYC, and the founder of Cooper Stocks Way, and co-founder of Families for Safe Streets. Georgia Lavey is a licensed clinical social worker, and the Clinical Program Director at Our House Grief Support Center in New York City, where she oversees the design and implementation of grief support programs. Casey Mulligan Walsh […]
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When you have suffered a loss, what is the role of faith? Join Dr. Gloria Horsley and her co-host and daughter Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guests; Casey Mulligan Walsh, Dana Lerner, and Georgia Lavey as they discuss faith and the role it played or didn’t play after their losses. Casey Mulligan is a the author of the award winning memoir; The Full Catastrophe: All I Every Wanted, Everything I Feared, and has written for the NY Times, Modern Loss, and Huff Post. Dana Lerner is a psychotherapist in NYC, and the founder of Cooper Stocks Way, and co-founder of […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
