Surviving siblings are sometimes called the forgotten grievers. Brothers and sisters lose their oldest witness, their playmate, the keeper of their childhood — and the world too often expects them to be the strong one. Here’s why sibling loss is uniquely complicated, and 7 ways to honor your grief.
Read More
“ I believe that our heroes in life change over time based on our values and maturity. We don’t cling to those who impressed us with their status. Instead, we align our vision with those who are authentic, reliable, and role models. However, there may also be the unlikely, unclaimed hero who changes our life and lives in our heart forever.” (Nan Zastrow) A year ago, in a support group meeting, I shared the story of how the ®Wings organization began…in Memory after the death of our son, Chad. After the group, a man who was present came forward and […]
Read More
Mother’s Day after loss can feel like an emotional minefield. Whether you’re grieving your mother, a child, a sibling, or anyone you love, here are 9 compassionate, therapist-tested ways to cope with grief on Mother’s Day, honor your person, and find a quiet thread of hope on a tender holiday.
Read More
Grief seldom moves in straight lines. Rather, grief can be more like the ever-changing weather over the ocean or like the relentless tides against a rocky coast. Some days it is mist. Some days it is stormy. And sometimes, it becomes stone. I meet people years after a loss who share, “I know it has been a long time, but it still feels like yesterday.” Their lives have continued. They work. They parent. They show up. Yet their bodies remain braced, as if the moment of loss is still unfolding. This is where the conversation about psychedelic-assisted grief therapy begins. […]
Read More
When someone you love is grieving, the fear of saying the wrong thing can keep you frozen on the doorstep. Here are 12 things to say to a grieving friend, 5 things to never say, and the simplest, most powerful gift you can offer when words run out.
Read More
Memorial Day is a day to stop and reflect on all those who have fought for our freedom and country. Across all types of wars and conflicts, they have been on the front lines, putting their courage to work on our behalf. Grieving a soldier is an important act. While we often miss these loved ones, Memorial Day is a special time to stop and remember them. Many people take this time to visit the graves of soldiers and pay their respects. It can be a solemn experience, but it can also be a positive one that reminds us of […]
Read More
Message to Deceased Son My son, Michael, was born 30 years ago today. It would have been amazing to see what he would have looked like. I often dream about what he would be doing with his life. Married? Kids? Or… still living at home?!? Well, he is still at home. His stocking is on my fireplace at Christmas. His picture is on the mantle and in my home office. Michael is also at work, in my wallet, and on the internet. His rap CD, just recently created from old cassette tapes, is being heard by others for the first […]
Read More
Question on Feeling Little Support for Mother-Loss Question: I tearfully happened upon your website by chance this morning. My dearest friend, my mom, died in my arms this past month. I had brought her here to live with me after her colon cancer returned. From the moment of diagnosis, I watched her hurt and endure so much treatment, never giving up, always smiling, always gentle, humble. Since she died, I’ve received very little support from my husband or anyone else. I joined an online grief group, but I do not feel as if I belong there. My friends have faded […]
Read More
To Lose a Twin I was taken captive by life and death at the age of twenty-one. My identical twin sister Paula and I faced life together for twenty-one years. We never imagined life without the other. As twins, we had an unspoken pact to care for one another. When she died suddenly in a small plane crash, I questioned who I was in the world without her. Could I even function in life without my twin? Our losses are as unique and personal as our love. All bereavement experiences are different. For me, grieving for my sister came many […]
Read More
Rituals Keep Parents’ Hope Alive The double doors are closed to Three North at Stanford Children’s Hospital, where my daughter Madison is supposed to get her chemotherapy. It’s our second session, Maddy is seven months old sitting patiently in her stroller as I come up to the thick double doors. This is a very bad sign, these door being closed. Maybe Maddy shouldn’t get chemo today. These doors haven’t been closed before, something’s wrong. The hair stands up on my arms, a tingling sensation crawls up my back, sits on my head like a hat. My partner Nancy is down […]
Read More
Dying in Prison Today there are 1.9 million people incarcerated in the United States, with 1 out of 6 prisoners serving a life sentence (Sawyer and Wagner). While the sheer number of prisoners is concerning, so are the unethical practices, lack of resources, and dearth of rehabilitation opportunities endemic to the prison system. Substantial research supports the positive impact of rehabilitation programs for those with addiction and mental illness on the mitigation of mass incarceration. Nonetheless, most programs neglect one inevitable reality. What happens to those who are terminally ill and dying in prison? There is very little research on […]
Read More
Is My New Partner Stuck in Grief? Question from reader: I am currently dating a widower who feels the need to publish a picture of his ex-wife in the local newspaper twice a year, on her birthday and date of death. He has been doing this for five years. We have been dating for four-and-a half-years. My husband died suddenly of a heart attack just a month after my companion’s wife died following a two-year battle with colon cancer. At this point, I’m not sure how I am tolerating these very public displays of grief. Would you be willing to […]
Read More
The long winter months can be especially confining, isolating and challenging when grieving a loss. But you can also engage in unique ways that will help you bear your loss. Here are some winter grief activities and projects (or for any time of year): start an indoor gardens/terrariums/terrarium memorial garden take up a new hobby/craft, learn new skills/enhance existing ones enroll in an online class (many are self-paced) write your autobiography or a biography about your loved one start a Blog (many free options with public/private settings) volunteer at church, care-facilities and non-profits plan and gather materials for spring projects give […]
Read More
Ten New Year’s Eves December 31st has come and gone ten times since my husband Bob was murdered. While ringing in the New Year with friends, Bob left our dinner table to check on the home of a vacationing neighbor. It had become apparent no responsible adult was overseeing a party the neighbor’s teenaged son was throwing. Bob walked in on two hundred drunk and out of control youth. Within minutes he was dead, beaten to death by two young men angered by his efforts to shut things down. I was left a widow with four-year-old twins. The first year […]
Read More
What is Synchronicity in Grief? Have you ever had an experience where you said, “Wow, what a coincidence.” Maybe it was more. Maybe it was actually a “synchronicity.” Let me explain through a Jungian perspective. Carl Jung, the prominent Swiss psychiatrist, believed synchronicity meant “more than a coincidence.” Jung, the thinker and founder of analytical psychology, connected synchronicities to the bigger world: the collective unconscious. These were not just assumptions on his part. Jung believed the collective unconscious was universal (meaning common to all people) because he listened and researched for decades the overlapping stories and myths that people shared […]
Read More
Death of a Sister I walk to your grave alone, in the cold demise of Fall. It seems so much colder here without the comfort of knowing that you will be here to protect me in this life as you have so well. The sky is white and endless. The sun has been cloaked by the cryptic fog. The leafless trees sway back and forth with the algid wind. The ground is damp and dreary. The world never seemed to be such a strong representation of death before you left me here, all alone. Oh, my elder sister, why have […]
Read More
Surviving the Holidays After the Death of a Child That holiday-pang hit my stomach the first October after Daniel died. Greeting me at an arts and craft shop were gold and silver stockings, a Christmas tree draped with turquoise balls and a wreath of pinecones and red berries. What was this? And was “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” playing as well? It was only October. I had anticipated that Christmas and the holidays would be tough. In fact, I’d wake on those cold mornings after Daniel died in February and be grateful that it was still months until his […]
Read More
Getting Through Halloween after Child’s Death On the evening I type this, the nip in the October air is a reminder that the major holidays are just around the corner. Halloween decorations have been in the stores since July and Christmas décor even as early as August. For those of us who are bereaved parents, siblings and/or grandparents this means the sooner they are “in our face” the longer we have the constant reminders that we will be facing the holidays without our child. Whether it is your first Halloween following your child’s death or years down the road, such […]
Read More
Grieving Through the Holidays I know I’m not the only one who is feeling the effects of the season. Grieving during “normal” times is a full-time job. Throw in 2 or 3 holidays back-to-back and whatever milestones we might have in the middle…well…we’re all working on nervous breakdowns of epic proportions. I think one of the cruelest things about the holidays (and this may just be me) is that we’re dealing with something we used to look forward to so much. And it’s turned into something we can barely get through. My first Christmas without my husband was definitely the hardest. […]
Read More
How Does Twin Honor the Sister Who Died? Gladys writes in: I just lost my twin sister three months ago to something we now know as Long QT syndrome. She was perfectly healthy and woke to check on her crying baby one morning and fell unconscious and never gained consciousness again. Our 30th birthday is this Sunday and I am wanting to do something special. Honestly, I wish that I could skip this birthday altogether. Do you have any ideas of how to honor her memory? Linda Pountney, vice president of Twinless Twins Support Group International, responds: Dear Gladys: Please […]
Read More
Mother Loses Son to Addiction To all of my fellow parents of deceased children — mothers and fathers — I offer greetings. I too have suffered this unthinkable loss and know the grief that accompanies it. My son, Danny, died on July 1, 2008, from an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs, a death all too common in this day and age. Shortly after he passed, I read that the incidence of deaths due to overdose has quadrupled in young people between the ages of 18 and 23. Dan was right in there at 22. Needless to say, this has […]
Read More
Getting Over a Child-Loss There was a time when I believed that people should “get over” their grief by the 12th month following a loss. After all, isn’t that what our society believes to be true? In the summer of 1976, I was employed by a doctor in a medical office building. There were several other offices on our floor, and at noon time, I would meet with some of the other doctors’ employees for lunch. One woman, whom we called Gracie, had lost her 16-year-old son two years prior in a drowning accident. Each day at lunch break, Gracie […]
Read More
Signs and Dreams from our Children Dreams and signs of our children. Do they really exist? Are dreams and signs a technique our deceased children use to contact us to let us know they are fine and indeed do live on? I believe with my whole heart they do. I am very fortunate and blessed. Because of my Grief Support website, I am privileged to hear about numerous dreams and signs deceased children have shown their parents and grandparents. Although they vary in context, they all have the same theme of our deceased children communicating to us that they still […]
Read More
Widow Fears Sharing Thoughts of Suicide Question from a Reader I know I’ve heard plenty of times that it is normal for ‘grievers’ to feel despondent and wish to be with their spouse who has passed on. But, it doesn’t feel like it’s normal to me because I don’t want to live any more, although I am not going to do anything to harm myself. In fact, I am on a healthy food plan and I am doing whatever it is I need to do to live from one day to the next. I stay in for days at a […]
Read More
What is a Good Death? What constitutes a good death? Many among those who’ve approached death themselves, or assisted dying people, have contemplated this question and made suggestions on this subject. The following discussion of factors that support a good death is neither comprehensive nor thorough. There are so many divergent thoughts on the topic of a good death that an entire text could be devoted to that subject alone. But some fairly common themes emerge when one gathers such information. Dignity or a Sense of Control The word dignity appears again and again in the literature about a good […]
Read More
Daughter Struggles with Dad’s Girlfriend Heather asks for advice: In November, it will be two years since my mother died after a prolonged illness. My father started dating a woman this summer. I supported him finding companionship. He and Mom were together for 35 years, so it had been a long time since he was alone. Unfortunately, I have not dealt well with the reality of his girlfriend. He wants to include her in all of our family gatherings and has told me that he expects me to become friends with her. My mom and I were very close before […]
Read More
Every single day, I’m seeing news of another mass shooting. It’s not okay. And more than expressing our concern about gun laws, we need to have the conversations about grief. All of us grieve after mass shootings. We are traumatized. But few acknowledge the significance of this grief, let alone address it. So we need to have the conversations. With ourselves, each other, our children. Parents all over the globe want to protect their children. For many, this means shielding them from adult topics. But when is protecting actually harming? Children Mourn a Shooting This is the world we live in. These are […]
Read More
Looking for grief support? Join Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Annie Sklaver Orenstein, whose brother Ben died in 2009 during military service in Afghanistan. Annie shares her insights on sibling grief and is the author of Always a Sibling: The Forgotten Mourner’s Guide to Grief. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/02/Annie-Sklaver-Orenstein_-Always-a-Sibling-Navigating-the-Unseen-Journey-of-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
At the 46th Conference of The Compassionate Friends Pat Thomas talks about finding supporting people in your grief journey. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Pat-Thomas-Find-Help-After-a-Loss.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
At the 46th Conference of The Compassionate Friends Pat Thomas talks about finding supporting people in your grief journey. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/content.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/Pat-Thomas-Ashtons-Dad.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Jacob Brinneman, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Jacob-Brinneman-Legacy-Mentors-for-Youth-who-Have-Lost-a-Loved-One.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Ashley Leal, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Ashley-Leal-Centering-In-Grief.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Jill Johnson-Young, at the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC). https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Jill-Johnson-Young-Grief-That-Comes-with-Dementia.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
At the 44th annual conference for the Association for Death Education and Counseling (ADEC) Amanda Shares her thoughts about a cancer diagnosis. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/05/Amanda-Hunter-3-Things-to-Do-when-Diagnosed-with-a-Terminal-Illness.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Are you disturbed by recurrent memories of loss? Join Dr’s Gloria and Heidi Horsley and their guest Deborah Korn for a discussion of healing trauma. Dr. Korn is the coauthor of Every Memory Deserves Respect: EMDR, the Proven Trauma Therapy with the Power to Heal. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/02/Deborah-Korn-Healing-Adult-Survivors-of-Trauma.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Do you feel like you might have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder as a result of a death? Join Dr’s. Gloria Horsley and Heidi Horsley and their guest Daniel Abella for a discussion of the diagnosis PTSD and its relevance and treatments in the area of grief and loss. Daniel is the author of The Theater of the Mind. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/02/Daniel-Abella-Post-Traumatic-Stress-Disorder.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Are you wondering how spiritual practices can empower you? Join Dr. Heidi and Dr. Gloria Horsley, psychologist and bereaved parent, Dave Roberts and Reverend Patty Eurino to learn how meeting Reverend Eurino spiritually transformed Dave’s grief journey. They are the authors of When the Psychology Professor Met The Minister. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Dave-Roberts-and-Patty-Furino-One-Mans-Spiritual-Transformation.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Are you wondering how you can get through your loss? Join Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi Horsley and their guest Brian D. Smith, bereaved dad and the author of Grief 2 Grow. Learn key ideas for living with your grief and finding growth. https://www.grief2growth.com https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/Brian-D-Smith-Grief-and-a-Spiritual-Quest.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Bonnie Carroll founded the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors following the death of her husband in an Army plane crash. Out of that loss, she founded the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors. Ms. Carroll retired as a Major in the USAFR. In her civilian career, she served three Presidents in the White House, as the White House Liaison to the VA, and in Baghdad, Iraq as a Senior Advisor. In 2015, Ms. Carroll was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The International Day of Hope and Healing After Loss, this is a first-of-a-kind, virtual experience bringing together major organizations and […]
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Geoff Johns is an award-winning screenwriter and producer and one of the most successful comic book writers of his time. After graduating Michigan State University, Geoff moved to Los Angeles and began assisting legendary Superman director Richard Donner. While filming on set in New York, Geoff started his comic book career with Stars and S.T.R.I.P.E. for DC Comics. A New York Times best-selling author, Geoff has written some of the most recognized and highly-acclaimed superhero stories of the modern era, the most recent being the critically-acclaimed Watchmen sequel entitled Doomsday Clock with longtime collaborator, illustrator Gary Frank. Under his Mad […]
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Which would be more anxiety producing; having a son driving a Humvee for the Army in Afghanistan or testing positive for the coronavirus? You won’t want to miss hearing bereaved sibling Dr. Heidi Horsey share her thoughts on her son’s deployment and her recent struggle with COVID-19. We will share tips on how you can find hope and freedom from fear and anxiety. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/Afghanistan-to-the-U-S-A-military-mother-coping-with-COVID-19.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Bonnie Carroll founded the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS) in 1994, at a time when there was no national support network for the families of America’s fallen heroes. Through her own loss of her husband, Brig. Gen. Tom Carroll, who perished in an Army plane crash in 1992 along with seven other soldiers, she turned her tragedy into a purposeful effort to create what is today the major national program providing compassionate care for all who are grieving the death of a service member. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Bonnie-Carroll-Supporting-Bereaved-Military-Families.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Rachel Kodanaz is a heart-minded professional helping her audiences to Embrace Life’s Challenges. Rachel has been speaking passionately to audiences of all sizes for over 20 years. Her published books Finding Peace, One Piece at a Time, best-selling Living with Loss One Day at a Time, and Grief in the Workplace have received international acclaim. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/Cleaning-Out-The-Closet-After-the-Loss-of-a-Loved-One-with-Rachael-Kodananz.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Jill Stephenson speaks nationwide advocating for veterans, organ donation and Gold Star families. Through her adversities she has found hidden blessings and made it her mission to instill positivity and hope to all whom she encounters. She grasps what life has thrown at her to build character and superlative wisdom. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Gold-Star-Families-Grieving-with-Jill-Stephenson.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Joanne Steen is a counselor, military widow and the founder of Grief Solutions training company focused on grief, loss and resilience. She is the author of two books on grief for Gold Star families We Regret to Inform you and Military Widow: A Survival Guide. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Surviving-Military-Loss-with-Joanne-Steen.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
At The National Alliance for Grieving Children, 23rd Annual Symposium on Children’s Grief; Karissa Kelley talks about suicide and military loss and hope through the TAPS organization. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/TAPS-Helped-After-Loss-by-Suicide-with-Karissa-Kelley.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
At The National Alliance for Grieving Children, 23rd Annual Symposium on Children’s Grief; Karissa Kelley talks about suicide and military loss and hope through the TAPS organization. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Military-Suicide-Loss-and-Finding-Hope-with-Karissa-Kelley.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
Daniel Kenner is an actor, playwright and co-author of the newly published, Room for Grace. Through anecdotes and hard-earned lessons, a family tackles challenge after challenge and reframes daily struggles with a positive outlook allowing them to transcend and conquer mortal fears with dignity and room for grace. More information can be found at www.RoomForGrace.org. https://media.blubrry.com/open_to_hope_1/www.opentohope.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Room-For-Grace-with-Daniel-Kenner.mp3Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Listen to show
The death of a sibling can be extremely difficult, yet society often minimizes this loss. Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley, with her guests Kim Burditt Bartlett and Zaneta Gileno to talk about sibling loss. Kim Burditt Bartlett is the Co-Founder of Sibling Strong Retreats. In 2010, Kim’s younger brother, Jon, died by suicide, forever changing her life. Kim serves as Senior Manager of Family Engagement for the Black Box Project at Stop Soldier Suicide, a groundbreaking initiative using digital data to better understand and prevent suicide. She previously worked at the Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS), where she’s created […]
Watch
What does grief look like when the person who raised you is gone? Join host Dr. Heidi Horsley and her guests Zaneta Gileno and Kim Burditt Bartlett as they talk about grieving the death of a parent. When Zaneta Gileno was just 10 yrs. old her Dad died of a heart attack, and in 2023, her Mom died of lung issues. Zaneta has a private practice called Hope Rising Psychotherapy & Wellness. She is an adjunct professor at Columbia University, and currently serves as Senior Mental Health Advisor and Board Member for Repatriate Our Patriots. In addition, she previously worked […]
Watch
Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
