To the sounds of the patter I did not create Dancing in the rain Fast and furious is my pace Dancing in the rain Can’t stop these piercing needles dictate Dancing in the rain Cos I’m wet, drenched soaked to the core I have no choice but to dance in the rain For my son Ibrahim Bash-Taqi 12.02.93 – 24.11.10
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My daughter loved Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving was special because she was born on this day. Christmas gave her a chance to give to others, even though she had little money. In her younger years, when she didn’t have twins to care for and her job as an engineer, family members often received homemade gifts. These are happy memories for me, yet the prospect of a new year, can be melancholy. Life isn’t the same without my daughter and the other family members who died in 2007: my father-in-law, brother, and former son-in-law. I loved them and counted on their […]
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most of the time i appear to look o.k. on the outside but my insides are not. most of the time i dont understand why i am here on this earth most of the time i dont want to be here on this earth i would rather be with my child i feel as though i dont have a purpose in life i currently do not have a job i spend alot of time alone alot of times i feel as though life isnt worth living anymore my felicia was my only child she was my world now my world […]
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most of the time i appear to look o.k. on the outside but my insides are not. most of the time i dont understand why i am here on this earth most of the time i dont want to be here on this earth i would rather be with my child i feel as though i dont have a purpose in life i currently do not have a job i spend alot of time alone alot of times i feel as though life isnt worth living anymore my felicia was my only child she was my world now my world […]
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When we learn of a tragedy, like the gunning down of Christina-Taylor Green, the 9-year-old Tucson girl, a whole nation mourns in confusion. Even though her death is external to our own system of intimate connections, it can still trigger many complex emotions and struggles. Greater minds than ours have been challenged by such senseless loss. The question of “why?” will reliably surface in the thoughts and conversations that ensue. This is a normal, human response. Usually, despite all the mind gymnastics we do in times of wrongful death, we all end up in the same place: We possess no […]
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I’ve been listening and reading about the senseless shootings in Arizona. Such a tragedy. I think about all the families and friends affected by this terrible act. I think about the journey they are just beginning. Unfortunately I can relate to what they are going through. When my sister was brutally murdered in her home, the shock alone was overwhelming. That was followed by complete sadness and anger. The one question the survivors of Tuscon will ask and will never get a justifiable answer is, “Why?” In time, they will get the answers to all the other questions, but the […]
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Have you ever noticed how when we lose a loved one, over time we measure events and time by before and after. My son graduated from college before Dad died. My daughter graduated from college after Dad died. I often think how my life has changed, what is different now, after Dad died. Before Dad died, I talked to my Mom a lot, after Dad died I talked to my Mom even more. She needed me more. She always needed me, even before Dad died. It took his death to make me realize that. Before and After, our measure […]
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When Elizabeth Edwards died last month, she was at home. When I heard that, I felt pins of jealousy pricking into me. My husband died of cancer after two years of fight: you might expect I’d hear echoes of the last days and of the loss. But no. The hurts were petty, many, and sharp. Because Gavin couldn’t die at home, the way he would have wanted. And it was because of me. Those nurses in the ICU, loving and kind to me and my little girl, who wasn’t supposed to be allowed in, but they saw how his numbers […]
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I’m in a funk. I know, I know…everyone is going to say that I shouldn’t be surprised, that it happens to everyone after the holidays. But it’s surprising me. I’m not quite sure why I’m experiencing this post-holiday let down. I know I used to go through it as a kid (in a BIG way), but as an adult, I’m usually just as happy to see the holidays go. Especially because the older I get, the more it seems like I blink and they’re staring me in the face once again. I think the major part of my funk is […]
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Open to Hope is an online community offering inspirational stories of loss, hope and recovery. We believe hope is the bridge between loss and recovery.
