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Bright Spots in the Midst of Pain

Posted on December 17, 2010 - by Kimberly Wencl

I was numb as I sat in the chair between my husband and my father. I could hear the funeral director talking. I could see his lips moving, but nothing was registering in my mind. Even breathing was difficult. In the past twenty-four hours, life as we knew it had ceased to exist. Our oldest daughter, twenty-year-old Elizabeth, had died of smoke inhalation from a fire in her duplex just a few blocks from the University of Minnesota, where she had just begun her sophomore year. Two of her roommates also died with her. How can this be? Liz is […]

Merry Christmas

Posted on December 17, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

Christmas lights sparkle Ornaments shine Rudolph’s nose so red Have I gone blind? Tears no longer blur My memories of you Why, this Christmas Do I feel joy too? The past few years Without you here Felt like I was drowning My heart ached so real. Everything I see And, everything I do A Christmas gift of memories Of the years spent with you. Merry Christmas, Mom and Dad Deborah Ann Tornillo Copyright© 2010 Author, 36 Days Apart http://wwwdeborahtornillo.com

Each Holiday Brings New Elements of Grief … and Hope

Posted on December 16, 2010 - by Christine Thiele

As the holidays approach, I can feel the tension in my neck begin to build. I begin to anticipate how this year will look. What will we do? Who will be around us and will I make it through again? I’m an anticipator. I stressfully anticipate and imagine all that could go wrong, all that could go right and any of the possibilities. I am hopeful. I am sad. I am grateful and I’m angry…all rolled up into one big holiday stress ball (just put a ribbon on me and I’ll be ready to go). I begin to plan and […]

10 Tips for Surviving The Holidays After a Loss

Posted on December 15, 2010 - by Julie Siri

The Holidays are stressful: There are presents to be purchased, crowded stores, extra traffic, financial burdens and social obligations. If a person has experienced the death of a loved one, this seasonal stress is greatly magnified. Death brings about many changes that will affect the holidays. Perhaps your loved one always carved the turkey or prepared a traditional dish from an old family recipe. Patterns and rituals will be different this holiday season. There will be an empty chair at the table. Holiday cards may not have their usual cheery message, and how do you sign them. Even if people think they have been […]

Poem: Across The Waves

Posted on December 15, 2010 - by Dr. Jane R. Westerfield

Across the ocean’s waves, around the world Your message of sorrow came to me No matter that we’ve not met face to face, my Dear Friend, Through the written word, I know your heart as you know mine. Across the ocean’s waves, around the world I grieve with you and share the pain of your Loved One’s loss In the midst of such sorrow, we both know because of our Faith That God’s unfailing Grace is ever present. Across the ocean’s waves, around the world The graces of your Loved One’s life will continue to bless others Through you and […]

Poem: A Christmas Reflection

Posted on December 15, 2010 - by Douglas Colthurst

Is this day of joy to be while standing ‘fore my Christmas tree the holidays are filled with grief for many more than my time’s brief but they lend space to introspect contemplate what’s to be set and what’s to change despite one’s fret take, step down from merry-go-round produce a little smile for me malice gone from thy brow only to return anow but not for now, no not for now a respite to be for all to see God forbid its peace to stay yea, longer than these few days of joy and peace for man’s long plight […]

Multiple Meanings for the Pietà

Posted on December 15, 2010 - by Kate McGrath

Art and music have a way of touching me in a way that words do not. I have always found much solace in seeing brilliant colors like cerulean paired with subtle hues of baby blue. So too have I been comforted upon hearing brilliant tones highlighted by subtle changes in volume. One of my most favorite works of art though, is Michelangelo’s Pietà. A statue originally commissioned for a cardinal’s funeral monument, which shows the Virgin Mary holding her son Jesus after his death. While I prefer Michelangelo’s Pietà – because of its simplicity and elegance, I find the image […]

Oldest Edwards Daughter May Have the Toughest Journey

Posted on December 14, 2010 - by Suzy Yehl Marta

Following are thoughts from Suzy Yehl Marta about the recent death of Elizabeth Edwards. Why do you think people around the country are so moved by her death? Most likely, it is because of the drama and trauma she has endured with her husband’s affair and baby. When this happens to anyone it is humiliating when only family and friends know. For Elizabeth she endured public embarrassment and deep emotional pain. Furthermore, Elizabeth was a role model on how to be heroic through this experience. She was quiet for a long while and when she finally did interviews and in […]

Angel Tree Makes for Roses in December

Posted on December 14, 2010 - by Amy Daly

“God gave us memories so we would have roses in December.” ~James M. Barrie By late 1998, I was preparing for my first holiday season without my precious daughter, Alexandria, who had died January 29, 1998 as a newborn. I had a 33-month-old son, Bryce. It had been almost a year since my daughter died and I was halfway into the subsequent pregnancy with my third child, another girl. Surely I was through the worst of the grief and my mind and heart would observe the expectation I had set for myself that I was beyond the heartache. I could […]

Helping Others Means Deeply Listening to the Words

Posted on December 13, 2010 - by Lyn Prashant

I often hear grieving individuals express profound feelings and significant emotions using uniquely distinct phrases found in English. The stories of loss can live in our bodies. When we receive information of loss, our ears hear the news, our minds process the data, our brain reacts by sending information to our bodies in the form of chemicals. Our bodies, the barometers of our feelings, register the emotional impact of the losses held in our soma (our physical self). Fresh grief re-stimulates the grief we are somatically carrying from prior losses; and when losses combine the effect that occurs is exponential. […]