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Hating the Holidays

Posted on December 9, 2010 - by Mary Westra

The unease creeps in around Halloween. The bags of miniature candy, the masks, the decorations box waiting to be unpacked, lights at the front door, goblins to greet. It’s just not as much fun as it used to be . . . when my toddling Peter dressed as baby blue rabbit took the hand of his older sister in pink pajama sleeper, their sewn on ears at a cocky tilt, and headed out with my husband to haunt the neighborhood. A few years later, he was a curly-white-haired old lady, then in college he wrapped his head in a turban […]

Edwards Children Will Need Adult Help as They Grieve

Posted on December 9, 2010 - by Sandra Pesmen

The death of Elizabeth Edwards this week leaves three children without their mother, including two children ages 12 and 10. What can the Edwards family and friends do to help them through their grief? Research by psychoanalysts at the Chicago Institute for Psychoanalysis on The Effects of Early Parent Deaths showed: The most important thing is to make sure the children have time to grieve, are encouraged to talk about their feelings, and are helped to remember their mom. If that doesn’t happen, the children may wall up emotions and enter an “emotional deep freeze” can keep them from enjoying […]

Elizabeth Edwards Demonstrated Grace in Grief

Posted on December 9, 2010 - by Kay Bevington

Elizabeth Edwards was not afraid to share her grief journey with others, and bereaved parents could relate to her as she was genuine. I had the opportunity to meet her and also hear her speak at the TCF Conference in Oklahoma City, Okla., a few years ago. Parents appreciated her openness and willingness to talk to everyone. She made her pilot and entourage wait at the airport until she had signed every book and talked to each bereaved parent. Ministering to and being with others like herself was more important to her than political commitments. How many politicians and or […]

Elizabeth Edwards Embodied Warmth

Posted on December 9, 2010 - by Ken Druck

Elizabeth Edwards was a voice of compassion, forgiveness, wisdom and strength to bereaved parents around the world for several decades. All of us owe her a measure of gratitude for illuminating the world of what it means to lose a child and live on honorably. I had the honor of meeting her last year as part of a panel discussion on grief led by Maria Shriver at The Governor’s Conference on Women in Long Beach California. Elizabeth was as grief literate as I had imagined but, even more so, she embodied a rare sense of warmth, grace and courage in the way she faced the subsequent losses in her life. I cherished our […]

Dr. Bernie Siegel on the Meaning of Elizabeth Edwards’ Death

Posted on December 9, 2010 - by Bernie Siegel

Why do you think people around the country are so moved by Elizabeth Edwards’ death? What does this tell us about public grief? People fear death and often see it as a failure or lost battle. For her to die in the presence of her family shows that these were not issues for her. She lived the message of love which is the only thing of permanence and and which can make us immortal. What do you think the impact will be on her children, especially the younger ones, who are 12 and 10? The effect is up to what […]

Grief has no Time-line

Posted on December 9, 2010 - by Diana Doyle

Yesterday, I read a blog about grief after child loss. It was an interesting article, and it made me wonder about my opinions on grief. I must tell you before you read on, this lady hasn’t had to bury her child, thankfully. The blog read, “Everyone I’ve interviewed about losing a child agrees, it takes five years.” That’s right, after FIVE years, if I am to believe her, I should be through the worst of my grief over Savannah! As soon as I read it, the hair on the back of my neck prickled. I’m afraid I have to disagree. I thought to myself, “Well I must be abnormal!” In […]

Celebrity Deaths Remind Us We Are All Mortal

Posted on December 8, 2010 - by John Pete

Celebrities often appear bigger than life, untouched by the everyday challenges of “regular people.” So, when their lives come to an end, it is a stark reminder that we are all mortal, and no amount of fame and fortune can change that fact. Collectively, we seem to mourn celebrity losses because of the mutual admiration we feel for those whose lives seem to hold so much favor, and are lived out so publicly. Their deaths often bring a much-divided world together despite political, religious, economic and other differences. We look to the legacies of these famous people whose public lives […]

Elizabeth Edwards’ Death Can Help You Feel and Heal

Posted on December 8, 2010 - by Doris Jeanette

Public figures such as Elizabeth Edwards and Princess Diana can help the rest of us feel our emotions and feelings. I noticed when John Lennon died on the streets of NYC that my clients were deeply affected by his death. That is when I began to use the dramatic events in public figures’ lives as a way to help my clients feel their own emotions and feelings. Try it yourself. Pay attention to how you are affected by Elizabeth Edwards’ death. No matter what you feel, allow yourself to fully experience it. Always remember, with feelings and emotions, there is […]

Elizabeth Edwards Helped Others Who Had Suffered Child-Loss

Posted on December 8, 2010 - by Sandy Fox

I had a personal experience with Elizabeth Edwards that I will never forget. She was the keynote speaker at the 2007 Compassionate Friends conference in Oklahoma City, which I attended. I bought her book “Saving Graces,” took it with me to the conference and wanted her to sign it. At the time, she was doing chemo treatments for her breast cancer, and I marveled at her strength and courage to continue with all her speaking engagements and interviews (that night after the conference she flew to Los Angeles to appear on Larry King.) After she gave an eloquent speech to […]

Grief’s Linking Objects – Why Do We Hold On?

Posted on December 8, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

After my daughter died, I became acutely aware of the gifts she had given my husband and me. One year, she gave us a step stool for Christmas because she was afraid our rickety one would collapse and injure us. Years ago, she gave me a counted cross stitch pillow for my birthday. Though she was skilled at needlework, I knew the pillow had taken weeks to make. The house is filled with linking objects and, when loss was still new, I cried every time I saw them. Nan Zastrow writes about linking objects in a “Grief Digest” article, “Linking […]