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A Sensitive Christmas

Posted on December 24, 2010 - by admin

While reading a history of caroling in Greece, this jumped out… …These carolers have far more consideration for the feelings of their fellow – creatures than English carolers… the candle lighter is always sent on ahead to inquire of the household that they propose to visit if there is mourning in the house… Here is a culture that acted like mourning people mattered! Here is a hint about a culture that bent low to care for those in grief. Grief makes everything burn more intensely, things sound harsher, our senses are raw and easily jangled. It might seem like you […]

Remembering a Child, Celebrating a Holiday

Posted on December 24, 2010 - by Cynthia Ranyak

The holiday season is calling to us again, the grieving parents of children that we love and lost. We have a different kind of celebration, but it is our own, and for our own reasons, we put up our holiday decorations or decide that maybe next year we can face the world that is so different from our own. Our world is full of memories of times past and celebrations that were full of our children’s laughter and hopes and dreams. How can we celebrate this Christmas with our families and make new memories without disrupting our precious memories? What can […]

Is this Really the Season to Be Jolly?

Posted on December 23, 2010 - by Susan Berger

Tis the season to be jolly. This verse from the Christmas song “Deck the Halls,” belies the sadness that many people feel during the winter holiday season. Many folks are fortunate to be celebrating with family and friends. I wish you the best, if you are. But, if you are among those who have lost a loved one this year, this season may offer little comfort and joy. It may be difficult for you to participate in holiday festivities, let alone celebrate. You may wish to be alone, or spend quiet evenings with someone whom you care about – and who […]

‘I’ll Take a Christmas Tree, Stocking and Kleenex for the Road’

Posted on December 22, 2010 - by Kate McGrath

The halls are decked out with glittered-things galore, our stockings are hung on the mantle with care, and one Christmas tree is glimmering – trimmed to the top because of an unexpected amount of holiday cheer. I couldn’t ask for anything more. Oh wait. Yes I could. Dear Brother, where are you? If only you could be here this very second! Indeed, I find it funny how the holiday seasons can be like that. At one point, I can find myself totally calm and in a state of complete bliss, especially after hearing my favorite piano rendition of “What Child […]

Meeting the Needs of Fatherless Children

Posted on December 22, 2010 - by Janet Grimes

Perhaps there is one in your life, a child who needs a father, or at least a father figure while his own might be away for an extended period of time. For children, the absence of a father is most apparent during the holiday season. Children tend to dream within their means, sensing the financial strain and recognizing the fact that their mother is working as hard as humanly possible. They also know that Mom is the one who keeps the family functional, providing their every need. For this reason, some children may back away from asking Mom to stop […]

For Men: Letting Grief Out One Word at a Time

Posted on December 20, 2010 - by Ron Villano

What do holidays and journal writing have in common? They show how you feel. And that is perhaps the toughest and roughest part of living life as a man — that homegrown instinct to bottle up the negativity in order to always show strength. It means that feelings and emotions get trapped deep inside. It is at the very heart of why men’s grief is so desperately personal, especially at the holiday and family celebration times. I believe that our minds are like garages. We store everything up there. Ideas, beliefs and values…many of which have all been shifted and […]

Loss of Child Makes Mom Appreciate Life Even More

Posted on December 19, 2010 - by Vicky Bates

There was a study in Denmark that said people who lost children were 18% more likely to get cancer. They think it is the stress of loss. I was one of those people. Friends were shocked to hear I had breast cancer. “That poor woman, first she loses a son and now she has breast cancer.” The fact that I wasn’t upset baffled them. Once you lose a child, nothing upsets you and nothing is too monumental to overcome. This is what’s true for me…every experience in life occurs, as it should. There are no mistakes or accidents. Losing a […]

my daughter and my best friend was killed

Posted on December 18, 2010 - by admin

my daughter was killed by her husband she married 2 weeks prior to her death that horrible night in nov.4,2009. her murderer took thier roomate hostage held him with agun for 12 hours he finally gave himself up at 5p.m. in the morning i just finished the trial about 2 months ago this is the hardest thing i have ever been through in my whole entire life i miss my daughter every day of my life i cry for her alot even though her murderer got life in prision that still does”nt bring my daughter back the pain from how […]

Navigating Grief During the Holidays

Posted on December 18, 2010 - by David Roberts

The pain of grief tends to surface with great intensity during “milestone” events. Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays are typical events that are associated with our grief journeys. The intensity of grief is usually highest for many during the first year that these milestone events are experienced. However, people will experience pain of varying intensity during these milestone events beyond the first year. There is no timetable to resolve grief and in many cases; journeys are lifelong. Experiencing pain at any time during the process is to be expected. Under normal circumstances, preparing for any holiday can be stressful as well […]

Bright Spots in the Midst of Pain

Posted on December 17, 2010 - by Kimberly Wencl

I was numb as I sat in the chair between my husband and my father. I could hear the funeral director talking. I could see his lips moving, but nothing was registering in my mind. Even breathing was difficult. In the past twenty-four hours, life as we knew it had ceased to exist. Our oldest daughter, twenty-year-old Elizabeth, had died of smoke inhalation from a fire in her duplex just a few blocks from the University of Minnesota, where she had just begun her sophomore year. Two of her roommates also died with her. How can this be? Liz is […]