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Channeling My Mother’s Guidance

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Lauren Muscarella

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was five but her infectious enthusiasm allowed those around her to forget she was sick. She dropped everything for me and constantly told me not to worry. She accepted her breast cancer and brushed it off so I did the same. Eventually, in the last few years of her life, she did start to look a little different but I pushed it so far out of my head that I did not see was right in front of me. A few months before she died, she started to actually look sick. She […]

Ghosts of Halloween

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Mitch Carmody

October 31st is Halloween, one of our nation’s most popular holidays. Over 67% of American households polled by an American Express in a 2009 survey replied that indeed Halloween has surpassed Christmas as a family’s favorite holiday period. During the month of October, Americans spend almost $2 billion on candy purchased for Halloween night. Despite prior years of horror stories of alleged razor blades in apples and pins in popcorn balls, the holiday only grows in popularity. Halloween has its roots in pagan and deeply religious beliefs simultaneously. In ancient Celtic tradition they celebrated “Samhain” which is Gaelic for “summers […]

Completeness Shattered by Complete Separation

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Christine Thiele

Completeness. This is what I miss today. The feeling that you have all that you need and that all is well and safe. There were many moments that I remember feeling complete in our life together. From the early moments when we held each other to the final moments when we let each other go. What a gift feeling complete is. Contentment with all the peace that everything I needed was with me and around me. That gift of feeling complete is now a memory to me that makes my days and moments now less bearable. The incompleteness screams in […]

Death at Center of her Life

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Gabrielle Michel

Sometimes I wonder if our lives are predestined or if we really have choice. Often it seems the universe conspires to lead us in a particular direction, and no matter how hard we fight it, we are going there whether we like it or not. I had a very specific vision of what my life was going to be; let’s just say it doesn’t remotely resemble the life that has unfolded (and continues to unfold) before me. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that my life’s work would be about grief, death and how death can teach […]

Healing Through Art: One With the Universe

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Tambre Leighn

It was the last painting. I didn’t see it until it was done. When Gary finally unveiled the long canvas, there were no words. I hoped the tears in my eyes communicated the beauty I saw in the piece. He named it One With the Universe. It was like his reconciliation with God…his embracing of everything in his life…the love, the creativity, the illness and whatever was to come. There was power and peace in the colors and the image. A quiet strength…the kind it would, I imagined, later take to hide from me the fact his cancer diagnosis was […]

Where Was God?

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Howard Winokuer

co-authored with Heidi Horsley, PsyD, LMSW, MS, executive director of Open to Hope Foundation Footprints in the Sand “So I said to the Lord, You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there have only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, You have not been there for me?” The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you.” Mary Stevenson A question that […]

Prepare to Make it Through the Holidays

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

With the holidays fast approaching, I think about last Christmas. Last year was the first Christmas without my sister. Personally, I felt like skipping over the entire season. I knew in my heart that others were depending on me to help make the holidays bearable, so I helped. I did ask less of myself though. I did most of my shopping online. When I did go out to the malls I was surrounded by happy, laughing people and I felt very alone. I didn’t feel like laughing and being happy. I was almost angry that everyone around me was going […]

Thanksgiving Day Can Be Painful

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Mary Jane Hurley Brant

When you lose someone you love, Thanksgiving Day feels burdensome and painful. When a brain tumor took away our precious Katie’s life, I dreaded that holiday. For seven years, we served no rutabagas because they were Katie’s favorite vegetable. The thought of their seasonal aroma wafting through our home without her in it was too much to bear. I don’t share this part of me today to make my readers sad. I share it because you are my extended family and I am yours. We are all fellow travelers. When we suffer loss we question if we will ever overcome […]

Find Pleasure in Music During Holidays

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Tony Falzano

Believe it or not, the holidays are almost here. Very shortly, some of us will prepare a list of things so we can get ready for the season. It may look like this… Christmas cards? Check! Hanukkah candles? Check! Gifts for children, spouse and parent? Check, check, check! Though Hanukkah and Christmas are joyous occasions for most, they can be very anxious, trying times if you are spending your first (or another) holiday without a special loved one. Saddened with loss, you may struggle to participate in the season’s festivities. One way that can help you through this period, or […]

My Sister’s Murder: The Questions Continue

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

On September 18th, my sister, Sandra, was found dead in her home. It was ruled a homicide later that day. Within a few days we had received the answers to two of our questions. When and How. The time of death was recorded as shortly after 9 am, when she was pronounced dead in her home. My other two sisters and I will always believe she died the night before, September 17. We also found out how she died. Stab wounds to the heart. Receiving those two answers were heart wrenching. Albeit they were answers we so desperately needed. The […]