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Not Ready Yet for the Holidays

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Darcie Sims

We should know better by now. It shouldn’t keep surprising us, but it does. No matter how hard we try, no matter what we do to prepare ourselves, it still happens. Year after year, generation after generation, it arrives without hesitation or delay. It stays too long and never lasts long enough. It is filled with anticipation and dread and we never learn enough and we know far too much… It is greeted with great joy and heavy despair. And it is always announced by the universal cry of “I’M NOT READY YET…” The HOLIDAYS are coming and I haven’t […]

Remembering Loved Ones During the Cold Season

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Robbie Miller Kaplan

It’s wintertime for me, the most dismal time of year. The birthdays of three special family members and the anniversaries of their deaths fall within a ten-week period. I used to think the weather made this time even gloomier until I read an essay that changed my thinking. The writer’s father died in the month of July and the author shared that despite the sunshine and flowers, July is always a season of sadness for her. So how do we cope with these seasons of grief? I’ve learned that there is no right or wrong way to work through it. Grief […]

Beware the Ghouls and Goblins That Prey on the Widowed

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

In the days and weeks following your spouse’s death, shock and exhaustion can leave you vulnerable to certain people who are difficult to avoid. Usually disguised as well-meaning family and friends, these creatures often unknowingly say or do upsetting things. Here are some tips for identifying them and protecting yourself: 1. Platitude Ghouls Spot them: Though well-intentioned, these creatures don’t think before spewing out insensitive remarks such as, “It’s all for the best”, “Aren’t you over it yet?”, “Don’t worry – you’ll find someone else” or “I went through exactly the same thing during my divorce.” Ward them off by: […]

Make Time to Grieve, and Celebrate, During the Holidays

Posted on October 27, 2010 - by Art & Allison Daily

When your heart is broken in grief, you’re not sure how you are going to get through the next day, much less the holidays. Holidays should be spent with the ones we love. It’s a time of celebration, of giving to those we care about. So, if your loved one has died, please don’t think I am in any way making light of the hole you must feel in the center of your being. I only wish to offer ways to honor and remember the one who is gone from your life. My brother committed suicide when I was in […]

The Last Dance: Lynne Ann DeSpelder and Heidi Horsley

Posted on October 26, 2010 - by admin

Lynne Ann DeSpelder and Heidi Horsley talk about Lynne’s book, The Last Dance at the annual ADEC Conference. Lynne shares about end of life.

Are Thank You Notes Necessary After the Death of a Loved One?

Posted on October 16, 2010 - by Catherine Tidd

I was brought up with a Southern mother who drummed into us the lesson that it doesn’t matter if someone gives you a diamond or a dandelion…thank you notes are a must. And for the most part, I completely agree. For whatever the gift or sentiment, the giver thought of you, took the time out of their day to give you something, and that action should be acknowledged. Even now, with my kids as young as they are, I have them write their own thank you notes. And I even have them write them to each other after a birthday […]

Creating a Grief Recovery Bucket List

Posted on October 14, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Bucket list — a list of things you want to do before you die — has recently become part of American vernacular. The words have become part of American life as well. Writing prompts for bucket lists are posted on the Internet. Several websites are devoted to personal lists and many postings focus on travel. After losing four loved ones in 2007, I had lots of grief work to do, and did it. But there is more to do, and I decided to make a grief recovery bucket list. I knew my loved ones wouldn’t want me to get stuck […]

Despite Losses, We Can Be Who We Want to Be

Posted on October 7, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

In her new book, “Just Who Will You Be?” Maria Shriver discusses life purpose and planning. “Ask yourself, ‘Who do I want to be?’ It’s the most important question of your life,” she writes. Her question may be applied to grief reconciliation and recovery. Despite our losses, pain, and sorrow, we can decide who we want to be in the years ahead. Before I read Shriver’s quote I wondered who I wanted to be and realized there were many people I did NOT want to be. For one thing, I didn’t want to become the neighborhood grouch. Though people have […]

Photos and Coping with Grief and Loss

Posted on October 5, 2010 - by Tabitha Jayne

As part of the grieving process, we tend to sit and spend time looking at photos of ourselves and our loved ones. We remember the good times and cry over the fact that they are gone. Indeed there is a general suggestion that we create a photo album of our loved one so that we have something to remember them by. But what if doing so actually causes us more pain than needed? Photos are an incredibly recent invention. Before that we had paintings and not everyone had a picture created of themselves. It was something that was reserved for […]

The Day I Contemplated Suicide

Posted on September 17, 2010 - by Louise Lagerman

Many bereaved parents think of ending their life after their beloved child dies. The pain cuts so deep, and the longing to be with the child so intense. I am going to share a story with you of what happened to me when I decided to end my life. I know without a doubt it was my daughter breaking through the realm of her dimension to save her mom. It was my daughter’s gift to me. It was four months after Keren died. I was so low, so empty, so depressed, I knew I couldn’t live on this earth without […]