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Handling the First Holidays After a Loss

Posted on November 2, 2010 - by Edward Gray

Suffering loss of a loved one can be painful enough, but it is more difficult during holidays and special occasions. Missing your lost loved one is most keenly felt during these times. Your feelings are most pronounced when the event happens for the first time after the death, and, among grievers, these are sometimes called “The Firsts.” The “Firsts” You’re in the grieving process and Developing OK; But, things do change and you’re set back, When come the “special days”. For Christmas, anniversary, Or birthday…you’re aware; Such days bring floods of memories, You visualize them there. For any special fam’ly […]

Keep Thinking of Your Loved One Through Holidays

Posted on November 1, 2010 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

As the weather turns, many of us dread the thought of the upcoming holidays. Perhaps it marks another year without our dearly missed loved one. It forces social gatherings upon us and maybe even uncomfortable discussions regarding our lost loved ones. This year, my Dad’s birthday actually falls on Thanksgiving. I lost him to cancer in 2008 and my Thanksgivings haven’t been the same since. I realized this last year that I have to accept they are not going to be the same. It was time for me to let go of my expectation that my Dad will be there […]

Holiday Gift: Take Care of Yourself

Posted on November 1, 2010 - by Ellen Gerst

The holidays are almost here, and you might be sitting there and wondering, “How am I ever going to get though this time?” You may also be secretly thinking to yourself, “There is no way that I can possibly muster up enough strength or energy to make this a happy time for my children. God knows, it certainly won’t be that way for me.” Take heart; these thoughts may only be partially true. Although it can never be the same as it was, it is possible for you to experience a meaningful holiday season. It will just be in a […]

Returning to Work After Your Spouse Dies

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Laurie Spector & Ruth Spector Webster

Returning to a job after a spouse’s death is a step that tends to be anticipated with eagerness, dread, or both, at different times. The workplace can seem like a familiar well-ordered refuge where you find many hours of distraction away from your pain. On the other hand, it can represent the ordeal of work pressures, coworkers’ reactions, and a boss’s unrealistic expectations. Here are some ways to make it through a work day while you’re grieving. Your Coworkers’ Reactions: While your private world has been drastically changed, your workplace has gone along in its usual way. You may, therefore, […]

Entering the Realm of Suicide Loss Survivor

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Catherine Greenleaf

Confused, bewildered, hurt and ashamed, we enter the realm of the suicide loss survivor. We never intended to be here. We never asked to be here. Not in a million years did we ever dream things could turn out this way. But they have. Our faith may be shattered. Our hopes may have hit the rocky shoals. We may feel numb, split off, and like we are hovering over our own bodies. People are coming up to us and saying the most loving and comforting words. We may hear them. We may not remember anything they said. Some people are […]

Channeling My Mother’s Guidance

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Lauren Muscarella

My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was five but her infectious enthusiasm allowed those around her to forget she was sick. She dropped everything for me and constantly told me not to worry. She accepted her breast cancer and brushed it off so I did the same. Eventually, in the last few years of her life, she did start to look a little different but I pushed it so far out of my head that I did not see was right in front of me. A few months before she died, she started to actually look sick. She […]

Ghosts of Halloween

Posted on October 29, 2010 - by Mitch Carmody

October 31st is Halloween, one of our nation’s most popular holidays. Over 67% of American households polled by an American Express in a 2009 survey replied that indeed Halloween has surpassed Christmas as a family’s favorite holiday period. During the month of October, Americans spend almost $2 billion on candy purchased for Halloween night. Despite prior years of horror stories of alleged razor blades in apples and pins in popcorn balls, the holiday only grows in popularity. Halloween has its roots in pagan and deeply religious beliefs simultaneously. In ancient Celtic tradition they celebrated “Samhain” which is Gaelic for “summers […]

Completeness Shattered by Complete Separation

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Christine Thiele

Completeness. This is what I miss today. The feeling that you have all that you need and that all is well and safe. There were many moments that I remember feeling complete in our life together. From the early moments when we held each other to the final moments when we let each other go. What a gift feeling complete is. Contentment with all the peace that everything I needed was with me and around me. That gift of feeling complete is now a memory to me that makes my days and moments now less bearable. The incompleteness screams in […]

Death at Center of her Life

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Gabrielle Michel

Sometimes I wonder if our lives are predestined or if we really have choice. Often it seems the universe conspires to lead us in a particular direction, and no matter how hard we fight it, we are going there whether we like it or not. I had a very specific vision of what my life was going to be; let’s just say it doesn’t remotely resemble the life that has unfolded (and continues to unfold) before me. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that my life’s work would be about grief, death and how death can teach […]

Healing Through Art: One With the Universe

Posted on October 28, 2010 - by Tambre Leighn

It was the last painting. I didn’t see it until it was done. When Gary finally unveiled the long canvas, there were no words. I hoped the tears in my eyes communicated the beauty I saw in the piece. He named it One With the Universe. It was like his reconciliation with God…his embracing of everything in his life…the love, the creativity, the illness and whatever was to come. There was power and peace in the colors and the image. A quiet strength…the kind it would, I imagined, later take to hide from me the fact his cancer diagnosis was […]