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Creating a Grief Recovery Bucket List

Posted on October 14, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

Bucket list — a list of things you want to do before you die — has recently become part of American vernacular. The words have become part of American life as well. Writing prompts for bucket lists are posted on the Internet. Several websites are devoted to personal lists and many postings focus on travel. After losing four loved ones in 2007, I had lots of grief work to do, and did it. But there is more to do, and I decided to make a grief recovery bucket list. I knew my loved ones wouldn’t want me to get stuck […]

Despite Losses, We Can Be Who We Want to Be

Posted on October 7, 2010 - by Harriet Hodgson

In her new book, “Just Who Will You Be?” Maria Shriver discusses life purpose and planning. “Ask yourself, ‘Who do I want to be?’ It’s the most important question of your life,” she writes. Her question may be applied to grief reconciliation and recovery. Despite our losses, pain, and sorrow, we can decide who we want to be in the years ahead. Before I read Shriver’s quote I wondered who I wanted to be and realized there were many people I did NOT want to be. For one thing, I didn’t want to become the neighborhood grouch. Though people have […]

Photos and Coping with Grief and Loss

Posted on October 5, 2010 - by Tabitha Jayne

As part of the grieving process, we tend to sit and spend time looking at photos of ourselves and our loved ones. We remember the good times and cry over the fact that they are gone. Indeed there is a general suggestion that we create a photo album of our loved one so that we have something to remember them by. But what if doing so actually causes us more pain than needed? Photos are an incredibly recent invention. Before that we had paintings and not everyone had a picture created of themselves. It was something that was reserved for […]

The Day I Contemplated Suicide

Posted on September 17, 2010 - by Louise Lagerman

Many bereaved parents think of ending their life after their beloved child dies. The pain cuts so deep, and the longing to be with the child so intense. I am going to share a story with you of what happened to me when I decided to end my life. I know without a doubt it was my daughter breaking through the realm of her dimension to save her mom. It was my daughter’s gift to me. It was four months after Keren died. I was so low, so empty, so depressed, I knew I couldn’t live on this earth without […]

One October Day

Posted on September 16, 2010 - by Deborah Tornillo

Remember on that October day? You were very determined To have it your way. Even though you cared You didn’t want me there. Daddy, I needed to be near. Remember on that October day? I wanted to have it my way. Determined to stay. You knew that I was scared More than my heart could bare. But, Daddy – I cared. If I could have changed that day I would have had it my way Daddy, you would have stayed. Deborah Ann Tornillo Copyright© 2010 http://www.deborahtornillo.com

Explaining Grandmother’s Death to a Toddler

Posted on September 15, 2010 - by Marty Tousley

Question from a Reader: Basically, everything I’ve ever read recommends that a toddler not be shielded from the truth, and I believe that. However, there is a set of special circumstances here. My daughter saw her grandmother every day since she was born, as my mother cared for her while I was at work. The care-giving stopped abruptly last year. That has been very hard to deal with, but my older children were victims of a terrible crime by her husband, and for my younger child’s safety, I had to stop my baby from seeing her grandmother because my mother […]

Mother ‘Connects Up’ with Deceased Son in Spirit Realm

Posted on September 14, 2010 - by Sheri Perl

I lost my son Danny to an overdose of alcohol and prescription drugs on July 1, 2008. He was 22 years old. I don’t have to tell any of you how devastating it is to bury or cremate a beloved child. No parent should ever have to live through it and yet we know that the number of us in this situation grows every day. To every other parent who is going through this, I offer my deepest condolences for your loss. I know that there are no words that I can say that can lessen your pain. I do […]

Googling Your Child’s Name

Posted on September 13, 2010 - by Sandy Fox

A few days ago, I started rummaging through the Internet and decided to put in my deceased daughter’s full name when unmarried and see what came up. I was astonished to find two Google pages of information on her and links to me, my book, Open to Hope and the fund established in her name. She died 16 years ago, and I now have proof that she still lives on for others to read about. The most interesting note I saw dealt with her high school alma mater. Back in 2004, ten years after her death, two of her friends […]

Husband’s Art During Illness Reflects Days of Hope

Posted on September 9, 2010 - by Tambre Leighn

In the early days of painting in the basement of our Vancouver rental, my husband’s canvases were filled with darker colors and hues. The small lower left corner often harbored the hope.This is where you could find the brighter tones, pushing up the dark curtain that bore down heavily. We were less than a third of the way through Gary’s battle with Hodgkins Disease. Some people resist this war terminology and I understand why, but the way Gary came at his illness with everything he had is the most accurate depiction of our story. He fought every step of the […]

Widow: ‘I Miss My Reflection in His Eyes’

Posted on September 8, 2010 - by Christine Thiele

Today I was driving, and the thought of someone I used to work with came to my mind. I couldn’t think of his name. Who was that kid with glasses? Was it Dex? Or Dax? Then, I thought: My husband Dave would know. Yes, Dave would know. We worked together and have so many shared memories and experiences. That’s what folks do when they fall in love and decide to spend their lives together. They share almost everything with each other. That’s what we did. Fifteen years together…same friends, same shared favorite places, music, etc., etc., etc. So, I drove, […]