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Oxytocin Treatment May Help ‘Pathological Grief’

Posted on August 5, 2010 - by K. Paul Stoller

It has been two years and seven months since I had the misfortune to discover how effective the hormone oxytocin is in helping one cope with pathological grief. That was the same month I gave a little research presentation at the MIND Institute at UC Davis about hyperbaric oxygen in treating children with autism. It was through my work with children on the autism spectrum that I became adept at using oxytocin for treating fear and anxiety, but it took me over three weeks after my son passed from a train accident until I realized it might help me. Oxytocin […]

The Power of Showing and Telling Your Grief

Posted on August 4, 2010 - by Kim Go

Ancient wisdom and modern science both encourage us to be expressive when we are grieving. MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) research reveals that the brain’s blood flow changes with emotional stress. Blood flows away from the left side – the logic, detail and language center. It flows toward the right side, where feeling, symbols and imagination reside. Perhaps the body needs more than logic and language during stressful events. There is a story about the children who survived the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami and their residual terror of the ocean. For months, nothing counselors did could pierce the children’s fears of […]

Nine Years Later, She Savors Visits to ‘The Missing Place’

Posted on August 3, 2010 - by Tambre Leighn

There are days and times and moments in between the larger slices of my life I find myself in the missing place. I have made incredible strides recreating myself after the death of my husband Gary. I learned to stand on my own two feet and have done so now for nearly a decade. I enjoy my independence and my freedom. I am accountable to no one but me. I choose every step in my path and every moment in my day. Yet there are the quiet times when a memory surfaces and I cannot help but go to that […]

Retail Therapy: How Widows Might Pull Us Out of the Recession

Posted on August 2, 2010 - by Catherine Tidd

Let’s face it. We start spending the moment our loved one take his last breath. Wait a minute–we really start spending way before that. Most of us are the reason why our own personal physicians drive such nice cars. But if you think about it–our contribution to the healthcare industry is just the beginning. Once everything is done, we have the funeral to deal with. I’ve been to small funerals and elaborate ones, but, even on the small side, we usually spend at least a couple thousand dollars. You’ve got a casket or a seriously overpriced urn. You’ve got flowers […]

Woman’s Story is One of Loss and Hope

Posted on August 1, 2010 - by Kathryn Williams Raths

Naomi Cole of Wayne, Mich., can still close her eyes and hear her mother’s reaction the moment her parents were notified that her brother had been killed. He was the same brother who returned after being a prisoner of war in World War II. Naomi remembered, “Oh my gosh, I can still hear her sobbing. Dad got ahold of her hand and said, ‘Come with me.’ They went into their bedroom. I have no doubt they were on their knees praying. It was like she had a mental breakdown but she got through it!” Naomi, who was 12 at the […]

Where Is My Child and Is He Okay?

Posted on July 31, 2010 - by Sheri Perl

From the moment you become a parent there are two questions that become foremost in your mind: Where is my child and is he or she okay? Even when you are dealing with an infant who seldom leaves your side, you still get those moments. I can remember watching my babies when they were in deep sleeps to make sure that they were still breathing. Whenever I left them with a babysitter or at nursery school, throughout the time that I was separated from them, I would wonder where they were and if they were okay. I simply had to […]

Revisiting Loss 30 Years Later ‘Refreshing’

Posted on July 30, 2010 - by Anne Hamilton

Last year, when the 30th anniversary of my friend Curtis’ death was coming up, I set out on a journey of healing, to clean out whatever vestiges of internal emotional and psychological damage that might be stopping me from living a full life today. I trusted that if I thought again about Curtis, I would learn something valuable about myself. And as a writer and artist, I knew that I would express myself in appropriate ways. In this series for the Open to Hope Foundation, I’ve shared some writing that has flowed from recent conversations I’ve had. The writing has […]

Overcoming Sadness Essential for Venturing into Vibrant Future

Posted on July 29, 2010 - by Charles Glassman

No, I did not see Toy Story 3; but, recently, my wife and two daughters did. When my wife came home, she shared with me the premise of the story. As she told it to me, I felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. Similar to the bubbling over sensation when we uncontrollably belly laugh, I felt a strong sense that I was going to cry. After all, the story is about the boy, Andy, who has now grown up (from Toy Story 2 and 3) and is getting ready to leave for college. Apparently, Andy decides to take Woody with […]

Script-writing Helps Her Understand Meaning of Loss

Posted on July 28, 2010 - by Anne Hamilton

The body is gone, but the love remains. This is the bottom line for so many of us. We may miss the person’s physical presence, but more often it’s the person’s mind/soul/body presence which we long for. And yet, the love remains. I’ve been taking a “deliberate journey of the soul” in search of deeper healing since June of last year, which was the 30th anniversary of my friend Curtis’ death. We were in high school and spent a lot of time together before he was killed in a car accident at age 17. I often wish that I could […]

Don’t Just Heal Grief, Transform it

Posted on July 27, 2010 - by Tabitha Jayne

There is a tendency in our society to talk about healing loss, like it is a physical wound. It reduces loss to nothing more than an illness to be cured. Our objective is to heal it as quickly as possible and get back to normal. This approach has failed us in our understanding of loss and made us miss the real nature of loss. It has created a society that is reluctant to express loss, and we thus keep the loss inside of us, instead of letting it go. Transformation is the real nature of loss. It shows us that […]